The Cole Smithey Thread

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Caz said:
It might take some time but Cole may actually get a proper lolcow thread if he keeps this shit going.
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this basically is his lolcow thread tbh.

It's in the Chris forum because nobody outside of people who come to the Chris subforum care about him.
He can't even be a good lolcow on his own he needs to be aided (albeit unintentionally) by his retarded brother.
 
I know the Ladybird thing is old news, but Cole got a pretty intensive shit-talking from one of my favorite Youtube channels, ETC Show (formerly Machinima's official entertainment news channel). Their Weekly Weird News series is pretty great. I'd kill to see these dudes' reactions to Chris.

EDIT: In case link doesn't work, it starts at 7:50

 
While I agree Cole gave Ladybird a bad rating purely for the internet notoriety of being the sole contrary reviewer, I do find it funny how many other reviewers/spergs swallow the bait and get all butthurt about a bad movie review that has exactly zero impact on their lives.
 
I put up with watching the PC disaster that was the 75th Golden Globe Awards last night with the hopes that either someone would crack a joke about Lady Bird's review score, or that Lady Bird would win something and there'd be smugness on Twitter saying some dumb shit like "lol Cole Smithey what a dumbass Lady Bird won Best ________".

Sadly nothing happened and I idly wasted two hours doing nothing. :c
 
Muscle Bra said:
While I agree Cole gave Ladybird a bad rating purely for the internet notoriety of being the sole contrary reviewer, I do find it funny how many other reviewers/spergs swallow the bait and get all butthurt about a bad movie review that has exactly zero impact on their lives.
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Yeah, for once in his life, Cole Smithey did something funny. (Maybe twice if you count his shared trophy with Armond White.)
 
There should have protocols in place to be able to detect if someone is giving a movie a bad review purely for the sake of being the only negative reviewer. In the past there probably was movies that did deserve only positive reviews but then had a troll give a negative review just for the blatant of it.
 
Muscle Bra said:
While I agree Cole gave Ladybird a bad rating purely for the internet notoriety of being the sole contrary reviewer, I do find it funny how many other reviewers/spergs swallow the bait and get all butthurt about a bad movie review that has exactly zero impact on their lives.
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Shiversblood said:
There should have protocols in place to be able to detect if someone is giving a movie a bad review purely for the sake of being the only negative reviewer. In the past there probably was movies that did deserve only positive reviews but then had a troll give a negative review just for the blatant of it.
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Even if there were, I fail to see the meaningful difference between a movie with 0 bad reviews and a movie with 1. No opinion is universal, no harm in the numbers reflecting that... even if the lone wolf is a hillbilly in hipster clothing.
 
I get that cole is super smug and hes def not a person anyone would want to be around for longer then 5 minuites but i am grateful for the salt he brought forth with his shit review
 
de_DEVIL_tails said:
I get that cole is super smug and hes def not a person anyone would want to be around for longer then 5 minuites but i am grateful for the salt he brought forth with his shit review
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I like how he brought out blarms level autism in hundreds of hipster nuisances.
 
Why do other film critics even acknowledge Cole as one of them? Most of his Youtube videos struggle to get more than 20 views each, my niece gets more sharing her videos with her school friends, how the fuck is he even on their radar?
 
Slowinthemind said:
Why do other film critics even acknowledge Cole as one of them? Most of his Youtube videos struggle to get more than 20 views each, my niece gets more sharing her videos with her school friends, how the fuck is he even on their radar?
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From what i remember someone here once said that he was on rotton tomatoes before it was popular so he got grandfathered in to their inner circle
 
Slowinthemind said:
Why do other film critics even acknowledge Cole as one of them? Most of his Youtube videos struggle to get more than 20 views each, my niece gets more sharing her videos with her school friends, how the fuck is he even on their radar?
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I haven't heard of many (or any?) legitimate film critics say anything about Cole.

It's always two bit writers slightly above Cole's level in competence, or mostly just random strangers online reeeing that someone disagrees with them.
 
Marvin said:
I haven't heard of many (or any?) legitimate film critics say anything about Cole.

It's always two bit writers slightly above Cole's level in competence, or mostly just random strangers online reeeing that someone disagrees with them.
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Ebert mocked him for the Toy Story review.
Ebert: I went to look at it. What a pathetic review. A few generalities and some snarking at Tony Scott. One expects better from the most intelligent critic in the world.
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Cole, being the smug loser idiot that he is, views this "dialogue" (consisting of comments on Ebert's site) as Ebert taking some troll "bait" about Cole's worthless "brand" instead of a popular critic simply dismissing his sophomoric opinions. Chris is deffo the least autistic of Barb's kids.
 
I think it would be hella humorous if a troll was able to trick cole into sending nudes of himself, or getting cole to dress up in women’s underwear or something, similar to what happened to Chris Chan. They are brothers so he might fall for it. Something like that would really knock cole down a peg and teach him a lesson, and humble that egomaniac a little.
 
Shiversblood said:
I think it would be hella humorous if a troll was able to trick cole into sending nudes of himself, or getting cole to dress up in women’s underwear or something, similar to what happened to Chris Chan. They are brothers so he might fall for it. Something like that would really knock cole down a peg and teach him a lesson, and humble that egomaniac a little.
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I actually don't think this is that far-fetched. Cole might have a slightly more respectable veneer, but he's still a Weston at heart-- desperate for attention and validation, and obsessed with whatever image he has for himself. If Cole could be convinced that imitating Chris could make him "edgy" and "insightful", he'd be wearing a clay medallion tomorrow. The one advantage Cole has over Chris is a wife and friends who keep him closer to the normal side of the fence.
 
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