The Cole Smithey Thread

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Cole once provided a very real and helpful service to the masses of New York City. Legit, I'm not bullshitting.
A very serious problem concerning many New Yorkers:

"Have too much money? Looking to burn away 200 dollars? "DRINK GREAT KRAFT BEER IN NYC WITH COLE SMITHEY AND FRIENDS!"

Sadly, he no longer offers even that, so he really is now as worthless as his brother.
 
It is great that a harmless but smug twat can cause so much butthurt here, he is a 2/10 lolcow at best and thats being generous, hardly worth getting worked up over.
 
Well, if leaving a bad review of Toy Story 3 got Coleslaw some pageviews (and the corresponding ad revenue), maybe he's hoping lightning will strike twice.
 
The problem with the Weston family is the bar for success is below sea level, so while Cole may just be skimming the surface from the bottom, he can still argue he's the most successful one
 
It seems Cole waited almost a week to offer up his negative review, after it had been widely reported that Lady Bird had a perfect 100% score. Good for him, I suppose. I hope it gets him all the negative attention he desires. It's just painfully obvious that Cole's opinion of the film is influenced by the unanimous praise it got.
 
Porker LeVance said:
It seems Cole waited almost a week to offer up his negative review, after it had been widely reported that Lady Bird had a perfect 100% score. Good for him, I suppose. I hope it gets him all the negative attention he desires. It's just painfully obvious that Cole's opinion of the film is influenced by the unanimous praise it got.
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It's utterly transparent that he was desperate to recapture his dumb Toy Story 3 fame by shit-rating another otherwise unanimously praised film. Somehow, this fucking imbecile is a Tomatometer critic despite being universally ignored by the entire population of the world. So he can do this from time to time.

It's not like anyone is going to ask RottenTomatoes why they have an absolute idiot, whose only claim to fame is that his half-brother is literally fucking retarded, on their Meter.
 
Imagine being so desperate to become as famous as your autistic transgender half brother you give a universally loved movie a bad review just so people will pay attention to you for a little bit, even if it's negative attention.
He's like a 4 year old.
 
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I'd watch the fuck out of a show with the negative Cole, and the childlike Christine reviewing movies. He can claim to be a movie critic and ride off his brothers fame with plausible deniability
 
Saying this as someone who also really doesn't care much for mainstream pop culture, he really needs to stick to Indie films if he wants his schtick to work and be known as more than just "that pretentious douchebag who has am autistic brother with a bad comic." By 90% of the internet that actually Tao
Jew an interest in whatever he's up to.
 
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