The Cole Smithey Thread

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Muscle Bra said:
That's another interesting similarity to CWC, in that CWC's work on Sonichu hasn't improved (or even changed) a bit in all that years that he has been scribbling it out.

We all know that CWC's artistic stagnation is due to a combination of his arrogance and his parents' long-standing tradition of praising to the high heavens every single thing he ever did as sheer perfection. However, since Cole isn't exactly lacking in the arrogance category himself, I have to wonder if Cole also believes that he is at the apex of his craft and, as such, sees no need to change or better himself?
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He's fallen into the trap that so many young creatives fall into, where they think they're too good for this populist world. Actors turning down bit-parts and commercials because they're holding out for Hollywood. Writers expecting every publisher to fight over their crappy fantasy novel. And in this case, a film critic who wants to be lauded for expressing opinions that no one's interested in.

Except what inevitably happens is those people wind up either accepting that the stuff they hate is not beneath them and go with it, or they quietly quit. Cole is an unusual case, in that he's still in the "too good for this shit" phase while being well into middle age.

LadyMayhem said:
Sorry to power level here... I took film courses in college and I sent a few of his reviews to one of the professors there. They weren't impressed. They didn't feel his reviews were written at a professional level, and they felt he added unnecessary fluff to seem smarter than he actually was. They'd seen better papers in Intro to Film.
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Sounds about right, particularly the unnecessary fluff comment. A lot of the stuff he puts into his reviews, I find myself thinking "And your point is...?"
 
Cole is literally non-autistic Chris. Chris is a dumb shit and so is Cole. It's clear whatever genes Bob had didn't move on to Chris. Cole and Chris are all Barb.
 
Reminder that when you're looking at Cole Smithey's reviews and tweets that these are the words of a 54 year old man. Cole was born the year JFK was assassinated. Fifty-four years yet he behaves like a 19 year old trust fund sjw.
 
King n Yellow said:
Reminder that when you're looking at Cole Smithey's reviews and tweets that these are the words of a 54 year old man. Cole was born the year JFK was assassinated. Fifty-four years yet he behaves like a 19 year old trust fund sjw.
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Um, that's pretty much what he is. His wife brings home the bacon and thus he's able to write his "reviews". Honestly, he's not hurting anybody and seems to enjoy his "fame" as a movie guy so, whatever. He's no different than lots of other folks that follow some bullshit dream with support from their spouse. He's obviously liked enough to have a spouse and live in NYC so that's like, a million miles away from his half-brother.
 
Syaoran Li said:
But I'm curious as to why we still have a thread on him. I mean, he hasn't had any contact with Chris in years and actively goes out of his way to avoid being associated with Chris at all.
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Chris sometimes chimps out about him. I suppose that's threadworthy. He certainly wouldn't have a thread otherwise, though.

"Hipster Internet film critic is sort of a douchebag and thinks he's smarter than he is" really isn't earth shattering news. It'd be bigger news if a hipster Internet critic wasn't a douche really.

King n Yellow said:
Reminder that when you're looking at Cole Smithey's reviews and tweets that these are the words of a 54 year old man. Cole was born the year JFK was assassinated. Fifty-four years yet he behaves like a 19 year old trust fund sjw.
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His greatest accomplishment was somehow getting put on the Tomatometer on Rotten Tomatoes. This just by itself shows how shit-tier a critic can be and still be put on that, though. I can't think of anyone more obscure, irrelevant and ignored who is on the Meter.
 
Even setting aside that his reviews come off like a whiny 19-year-old, and the fact that a Patreon perk is having beers with him and talking about movies, or the fact that he's basically the Cinema Snob without any of the charm, wit, or the benefit of just being a character played for laughs, he's not even notable beyond the Toy Story 3 debacle and being related to one of the most infamous people on the internet. He also considers Freddy Got Fingered to be classic cinema. No movie that involves a man jerking off an elephant and spraying his father with elephant spooge is a classic anything.
 
Somebody needs to donate enough money and have him review Christian's early YouTube videos.
 

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MormonofID said:
Even setting aside that his reviews come off like a whiny 19-year-old, and the fact that a Patreon perk is having beers with him and talking about movies, or the fact that he's basically the Cinema Snob without any of the charm, wit, or the benefit of just being a character played for laughs, he's not even notable beyond the Toy Story 3 debacle and being related to one of the most infamous people on the internet. He also considers Freddy Got Fingered to be classic cinema. No movie that involves a man jerking off an elephant and spraying his father with elephant spooge is a classic anything.
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Freddie got Fingered will be featured on Mgm classic in 20 years, it will be on right after Casablanca.
 
crayolasword said:
Somebody needs to donate enough money and have him review Christian's early YouTube videos.
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Slowinthemind said:
Cole does not even acknowledge Chris publicly, many fools have tried.
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The best way to sneak something related to CWC through (and, admittedly, this would be nothing more than throwing money away) would be to request that Cole review one of CWC's favorite movies. Since any reputable reviewer would get pissed off at being asked to review MLP or Transformers pap, maybe a request that Cole review Mary Poppins?
 
Muscle Bra said:
The best way to sneak something related to CWC through (and, admittedly, this would be nothing more than throwing money away) would be to request that Cole review one of CWC's favorite movies. Since any reputable reviewer would get pissed off at being asked to review MLP or Transformers pap, maybe a request that Cole review Mary Poppins?
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Force him to sit through The Adventures of the American Rabbit.
 
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