The Cole Smithey Thread

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AnOminous said:
Cole Smithey is an assmad hipster retard. He wants to look all urban but he is a hick spawned by a white trash town bicycle whore who spawned a motherfucker, his half-brother, who raped her. That's what he is. He wants you to admire his sophistication, but he's one step removed from pure white trash.
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He’s living the Chandler dream of being a stay at home partner whose significant other is funding his lifestyle.
 
Dr Doom Pill said:
Is it confirmed that Bob abused cole like he says in his emails? Because Bob doesn’t seem like the person to hit other peoples kids. Also I remember hearing that cole was upset when Bob died, is this true?
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I could see Bob being hard on him since Bob was kind of old fashioned. I can see him saying some off-handed good-old-boy shit to rub Cole the wrong way even if he eventually would have felt sorry for it. So a verbally abusive comment I can believe.

Like he was the type to hate fags by creed but inevitably came around when Chris trooned out.
 
Meiwaku said:
I could see Bob being hard on him since Bob was kind of old fashioned. I can see him saying some off-handed good-old-boy shit to rub Cole the wrong way even if he eventually would have felt sorry for it. So a verbally abusive comment I can believe.

Like he was the type to hate fags by creed but inevitably came around when Chris trooned out.
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Didn’t Chris go full on troon after he died?

Anyway I bet Bob would more consider him a sissy since in boomer terms Chris is basically just crossdressing rather than having relations with men.
 
Dr Doom Pill said:
Is it confirmed that Bob abused cole like he says in his emails? Because Bob doesn’t seem like the person to hit other peoples kids. Also I remember hearing that cole was upset when Bob died, is this true?
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Maybe.

There is a whole story about Bob nobody talks about cause we don't have sufficient information, but what we know is that Bob and Barb liked to hit bars and came out really drunk and intoxicated. Maybe at sometime in the past when they came drunk to their home they hit or punished Cole in some way that it was physical or sexual (mind you, big if the last one), plus Bob had more energy and was less of a pushover that in his final years.

I kinda believe that Cole is telling the truth, maybe exaggerating a bit, but he genuinely despised Bob and even Barb for hooking up with him.
 
AnOminous said:
Cole Smithey is an assmad hipster retard. He wants to look all urban but he is a hick spawned by a white trash town bicycle whore who spawned a motherfucker, his half-brother, who raped her. That's what he is. He wants you to admire his sophistication, but he's one step removed from pure white trash.
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Hes the archetypal hicklib. Hillbilly who hates where he came from and tries to compensate by being as gratingly boogie as possible.
 
The Dude said:
I think the allegations of abuse were aimed towards Barb and a partner she had before she met Bob, when Cole was much younger. Cole would have been much older when Barb married Bob and I'm not even sure he lived with them, and if he did it wouldn't have been for very long. Cole hated Bob more for political and personality reasons. I'm sure they didn't get along well, but I doubt Bob was ever physically abusive towards Cole, and Cole would have been old enough and physically mature enough to defend himself by that time.
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Yeah, the abuse allegations came from when Barb was shacking up with Jerry Harmon in Richmond. They divorced when Cole was 16 but that period is where he talks about "bizarre scenarios" and "bare-assed beatings." Cole lived with Bob for maybe a few months, tops, before moving to California in 1980.
 
Dr Doom Pill said:
Is it confirmed that Bob abused cole like he says in his emails? Because Bob doesn’t seem like the person to hit other peoples kids. Also I remember hearing that cole was upset when Bob died, is this true?
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Might've been a cope. Barb seems like the abusive one, and from what I gathered from the emails I've seen he just had that thing some divorced kids get where they just hate on the new S/O of their parent. He probably has extreme mommy issues, something I see brought up occasionally when he's talked about. When Bob came in and took all the attention away from him he just became jealous, and for him hating on an old Republican dude isn't too hard.
 
Just a reminder that even at his best attempts Cole is only worth $56 in the eyes of his Patrons. Chris would get hundreds from weens even after the incest... :drink:

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Valkorion said:
Honestly, I'd pay him a decent chunk of change if he was willing to talk about Chris. But that seems like the last thing he wants to do.
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I don’t blame him. Do you really want to be associated with a tranny lolcow that raped his own mother? If that were me, I would want to disappear into the shadows.
 
Dr Doom Pill said:
Is it confirmed that Bob abused cole like he says in his emails? Because Bob doesn’t seem like the person to hit other peoples kids. Also I remember hearing that cole was upset when Bob died, is this true?
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i doubt it was true, you have to remember that cole was what, like 14 or 15 when he met bob.
bob is kind of a dick, but why would he go out of his way to abuse an already high school aged kid he just met.
just let the kid go to high school and get out of the house.
 
Holiday Special said:
I'm impressed he never went that route. It would be easy money to release an interview exclusive to his patrons and fill it with details about his childhood with Barb and the early days of Chris.
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This has been discussed so many times in this thread but that's forgivable given the subject. Cole isn't a lolcow and doesn't get up to much so there is seldom anything new to talk about. If Cole were strapped for cash or simply the kind of man who chases (e)fame because that's the way his ego works, he would do this. But he isn't either of those things. As is, he seems comfortable with his life and position. Opening up about Chris would surely get him money (if he wanted to go that way) and lots of attention. But the nature of the things he would talk about (Chris, Bob and Barb) are fundamentally embarrassing. They don't exactly compliment the high-brow cosmopolitan image he has tried to cultivate.
 
Holiday Special said:
I'm impressed he never went that route. It would be easy money to release an interview exclusive to his patrons and fill it with details about his childhood with Barb and the early days of Chris.
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I think Cole's desire to disassociate himself from Borb and Chris outweighs his desire for money.
 
John Merston said:
I think Cole's desire to disassociate himself from Borb and Chris outweighs his desire for money.
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If he doesn't need the money he could get from talking about Chris and Barb, good for him. If one of my siblings were a lolcow like Chris, I would not want to be associated with them too - though you could argue that Cole is already associated with Chris because the latter couldn't keep his mouth shut about his brother. But anyway, Cole doesn't lose anything from not talking about Chris. It's only a pity for those who want to know more about Pre-Christory.
 
Cole just seems to want to be as far away from Chris and Barb as possible. Who can blame him though? Yeah, he's a hipster douche but he isn't hurting anyone. He's just another guy in NY trying to make it big. Unlike his half brother, Cole seems to have friends, hobbies, and gave up on the toxic cesspool of a family he came from.
The guy owes Barb nothing.
 
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