The Cole Smithey Thread

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Altera said:
Do you think cole could take chris in a fight?
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Cole isn't a young man, but Chris is far from a picture of fitness, so...
we just don't know.gif
 
John Merston said:
Cole isn't a young man, but Chris is far from a picture of fitness, so...
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Cole would win because Chris is so autistic that Cole could probably sense when Chris was about to punch but not the other way around. He also probably gets his exercise as a New Yorker from walking around outside in the posh neighborhood around Carniggo Hall and burning and pissing money.
 
Yamcha's Only Fan said:
I was going to say 'Cole's made it a habit to avoid anything that remotely smells like his waste of skin half brother' but he's got an ego to match Chris's. if someone played into that its not an impossibility to get cole to talk about himself.
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i mean if it were all about Cole than yeah, one would have to sneak the subject of Chris into the interview to get some type of interesting reaction out of him. And even then, I doubt we would get much info on what Chris was like or what he thought about his transformation. We might get some insight on Barb in her younger years though.
 
Rupin said:
i mean if it were all about Cole than yeah, one would have to sneak the subject of Chris into the interview to get some type of interesting reaction out of him. And even then, I doubt we would get much info on what Chris was like or what he thought about his transformation. We might get some insight on Barb in her younger years though.
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there's the rub. you'd have to get him talking, and you'd need one, maybe two hours of cole bloviating why toy story 3 was a shit film to get a few sentences about his mom or chris.
 
Yamcha's Only Fan said:
I was going to say 'Cole's made it a habit to avoid anything that remotely smells like his waste of skin half brother' but he's got an ego to match Chris's. if someone played into that its not an impossibility to get cole to talk about himself.
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I like to think Cole is jealous that Chris is more (in)famous than him.
 
SquirtingYawn said:
Actually I'm pretty sure Chris is the more feminine, taller figure on the left. Barb has short hair now and he drew lines to indicate she has no clue wtf is going on.
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Holy shit I thought it was Chris on the right. God damn. OK there is some troonery.

Yamcha's Only Fan said:
there's the rub. you'd have to get him talking, and you'd need one, maybe two hours of cole bloviating why toy story 3 was a shit film to get a few sentences about his mom or chris.
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You can pay $400 to hang out with Cole for a night at a bar. Bars are open from like 7 to 2, so if you got him drunk, he'd progressively go from sperging about Toy Story to giving a definitive answer as to whether Barb drank while pregnant, if the babysitter incident was true, and what the race of the apartment intruder was.
Though you can also pay $400 to hang out with baseball legend Jose Canseco so if I had $400 to Piss and Burn, it'd be a tough choice.
 
Ophelia said:
It’s not from the classic era. But it feels like it could be.
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It gave us hope that our favorite tard was still there and gave us one last gift before the idea guys came in.

That "piss and burn" comment had to of come from Barb. I have no doubt that she tried to hit Cole up for money after Bob died and she wasted all their money on the lawyer. Cole is a pompous ass, but he owes Barb absolutely nothing in life. She views her sons as resources and her oldest moved out before he was even 18.

Cole mentioned in the past emails with Chris that Bob ruined what was left of the mother/ son relationship he had with her that made him move out. Does anyone else suspect that Barb just chose Bob over her kid? Let's face it, while he's the better half of the two, he already had two children around that age that wanted nothing to do with him. It would be hard to imagine him wanting to deal with a step kid that hated him.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
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I fucking love this image so much because it has Golden Age Sonichu vibes but was drawn in 2016. No ponies. No Hyperdimension Neptunia. No troonery except for his name. Not even internet bullshit. Just Chris's personal problems drawn out. Chris didn't even draw himself as a troon on the TV; he looks like Liquid. The confusing joke about Carnegie Hall. He looks like he's sitting in the skyscraper of 4-cent_garbage.com and is about to call Mary Lee Walsh on a rotary telephone and deploy an army of Jerkops to interfere with the Lovequest.
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For some reason this photo reminds me of a Ben Garrison comic with all the labels.
 
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