The Cole Smithey Thread

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Dr. Silvestrechu said:
Will Smith may be rich and famous, but he will never stop being a short tempered cuckold nigger.
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I don't think he's even that short-tempered. I think the short-tempered bitch is his wife. He was laughing at the joke seconds before he "got angry" after he got the stinkeye from Laquisha.
 
From the Daily News Leader in Staunton:

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Dec 11, 1969 - Daily News Leader

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Hahaha they were at Western State Hospital. That's great. I doubt Barbie ever thought her son would be there for raping her and going crazy.
 
Mesh Gear Fox said:
Hahaha they were at Western State Hospital. That's great. I doubt Barbie ever thought her son would be there for raping her and going crazy.
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They went to all of the state asylums in a plane supplied by the governor, just like Cole said.

Also, even though I cringe saying this given everything that's happened... Barb's got some great gams.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
I've thought about that too and you got me researching. He seems like a person who stumbled his way into some passive income or un-earned wealth. Not enough to be filthy rich but enough to be able to live comfortably and treat a side hustle as a real job. I thought maybe it was simply marrying into money. Or he was in the right place at the right time in the real estate market, or a settlement.
So I did some reading on the CWCki and found this:

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Here's a sampling of jackpot payouts for Necrotizing Fasciitis misdiagnosis cases.

Cole probably didn't get millions because he didn't die or get an amputation, but he still could've gotten a chunk of change somewhere between $100k and $750k. Enough to pay off the house/condo and live on whatever he makes as a film critic.

I searched "Cole Smithey Lawsuit" and it turns out Goatse Man also thought of this back when I was still President.
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If Chris were to find this out, he'd be seething so hard.
 
Michael Janke said:
has it been confirmed what hospital chris was sent to. i thought that information was in lockup. i guess a ween could ask all the hospitals until one of them answers shadily. that'd be the most likely candidate.
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They probably have a scripted response whether or not the person is there, otherwise you could just do that any time and wait until someone doesn't say no.
 
Michael Janke said:
operator: nope there's not a christine chandler here.
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Except they're not going to do that. At most they'll take your contact information and if the person actually wants you to know, they can sign a release. Normal hospitals can usually at least verify someone's presence if the circumstances indicate they'd consent to it, although many still require an actual signed release. They're not going to have two separate answers that literally give away what they risk losing their license for revealing.
 
A Wumpa Fruit said:
You guys are unbelievable, an incredible deep investigation on old newspapers and archives just to clarify the information of the history of the elderly hipster insufferable brother of the world most famous lolcow

It´s like the autistic CSI
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I mean thanks srsly, but there's a subscription website (linked to Ancestry.com) called Newspapers.com that makes searching them really easy.

(P.S. If anyone needs me to search old newspapers send me a DM and I'll do my best.)
 
Ronnie Rocket said:
I mean thanks srsly, but there's a subscription website (linked to Ancestry.com) called Newspapers.com that makes searching them really easy.

(P.S. If anyone needs me to search old newspapers send me a DM and I'll do my best.)
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It´s pretty great, actually, I think that Cole had a very interesting life, not at the same level of Bob obviously but yeah...That old man hides a lot of secrets, I wonder if his stepfather Jerry has an obituary

Off-topic: reading "Barbie" on that newspaper, considering the most recent events....gives me creeps
 
Ophelia said:
From what I understand, Cole’s wife is the breadwinner and he’s a househusband. Take a moment to bask in the irony.
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Cole is living the life that Chris aspired to. No wonder Chris was jealous.

Ronnie Rocket said:
From the Daily News Leader in Staunton:

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Dec 11, 1969 - Daily News Leader

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SWEET JESUS, if they ever make a film about Chris that would be near the beginning of the film and then shown at the end with Chris walking through the halls of WSH haunted by visions of young Barb and Cole wandering there before.
 
Pointless Sperg said:
Cole is living the life that Chris aspired to. No wonder Chris was jealous.
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And from a certain perspective, Chris was living Cole’s. Loads of people online caring about (or at least paying attention to) what he has to say. I’m thinking more people have listened to The Hedgehog Boys than Cole’s band, even if it’s just to laugh. I don’t know how many people read Cole’s movie reviews vs how many people read Sonichu, but it would be a pretty safe bet that Chris gets more attention for his writing than big bro does. Plus, Chris knows who sired him.
 
Ophelia said:
And from a certain perspective, Chris was living Cole’s. Loads of people online caring about (or at least paying attention to) what he has to say. I’m thinking more people have listened to The Hedgehog Boys than Cole’s band, even if it’s just to laugh. I don’t know how many people read Cole’s movie reviews vs how many people read Sonichu, but it would be a pretty safe bet that Chris gets more attention for his writing than big bro does. Plus, Chris knows who sired him.
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But Cole gets China and a mother figure who pays the bills.
 
Hassa_Bussa said:
If Chris were to find this out, he'd be seething so hard.
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I fucking love this image so much because it has Golden Age Sonichu vibes but was drawn in 2016. No ponies. No Hyperdimension Neptunia. No troonery except for his name. Not even internet bullshit. Just Chris's personal problems drawn out. Chris didn't even draw himself as a troon on the TV; he looks like Liquid. The confusing joke about Carnegie Hall. He looks like he's sitting in the skyscraper of 4-cent_garbage.com and is about to call Mary Lee Walsh on a rotary telephone and deploy an army of Jerkops to interfere with the Lovequest.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
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I fucking love this image so much because it has Golden Age Sonichu vibes but was drawn in 2016. No ponies. No Hyperdimension Neptunia. No troonery except for his name. Not even internet bullshit. Just Chris's personal problems drawn out. Chris didn't even draw himself as a troon on the TV; he looks like Liquid. The confusing joke about Carnegie Hall. He looks like he's sitting in the skyscraper of 4-cent_garbage.com and is about to call Mary Lee Walsh on a rotary telephone and deploy an army of Jerkops to interfere with the Lovequest.
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Even Chris roasted Cole for the world's "smartest" movie reviewer thing.
 
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