The Cole Smithey Thread

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UnholyFrogMaster said:
Okay, this is retarded, but wouldn't it be kinda funny if people like...start trolling Cole the same way they trolled Chris?
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When Chris is funny it’s because his reactions are funny. Cole isn’t the genius he claims to be, but he’s smart enough to not feed the trolls. He’s not funny in the way people like Chris and Patrick Tomlinson are funny.
 
Ophelia said:
When Chris is funny it’s because his reactions are funny. Cole isn’t the genius he claims to be, but he’s smart enough to not feed the trolls. He’s not funny in the way people like Chris and Patrick Tomlinson are funny.
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I know it would never work and any ween that tries it is a mega fag but how funny would it be if it turned out Cole just suddenly becomes as reactionary as Chris.
 
brahsparagus said:
From CWC's Diary wrt the 2005 Walmart incident:
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God, Pre-Christoric Chris was magnificent. The Lovequest, early Sonichu, Jerkops, Manajerks, the Game Place, the legendary war with Mary Lee Walsh. It was kino because it was taking place in the real world just as much as it was in the internet. And what did happen on the internet was Web 1.0.


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Please for the love of god take me back to when the internet and real life were parallel worlds.
 
thegooddoctor said:
Imao how sad, Cole no matter how much he denies it can never truly escape his roots. The shitty Chandler name has stained his soul forever, If only he wasn’t so unpleasant and condescending I might feel more sorry for him, but until one day he decides to actually address the issue I don’t think he’ll ever get the notability he wants. It’s his loss.
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imagine living in your younger retarded brothers shadow. the same brother who raped your mom. cole is never going to escape the shadow of chris. cant even imagine living like that.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
God, Pre-Christoric Chris was magnificent. The Lovequest, early Sonichu, Jerkops, Manajerks, the Game Place, the legendary war with Mary Lee Walsh. It was kino because it was taking place in the real world just as much as it was in the internet. And what did happen on the internet was Web 1.0.


View attachment 3202214


Please for the love of god take me back to when the internet and real life were parallel worlds.
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Honestly the best era of Christory
 
To me he is the most valuable person after Chris in cwcki legends because he has insight on barb, Bob and Chris growing up. One can only wonder what his descriptions of abuse meant, cause it had a major impact on him. But I'm completely fine never finding out because he deserves that.

ProfessorCuckulus said:
imagine living in your younger retarded brothers shadow. the same brother who raped your mom. cole is never going to escape the shadow of chris. cant even imagine living like that.
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What I wonder about is his finances. Was Chris making more money than Cole? I don't even know what his job is besides being a movie critic, and even there I don't know how/if he even gets paid.
 
Hassa_Bussa said:
What I wonder about is his finances. Was Chris making more money than Cole? I don't even know what his job is besides being a movie critic, and even there I don't know how/if he even gets paid.
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From what I understand, Cole’s wife is the breadwinner and he’s a househusband. Take a moment to bask in the irony.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
"As for me, I vow to never watch, much less review, another Will Smith movie."

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Will Smith is unable to hear your opinion over the sound of his wealth and fans, including people who respect him *more* for slapping Chris Rock. I'm sure he really cares about you weighing in on his nigga moment. For that matter, I bet Chris Rock really appreciates the praise. He definitely doesn't know that if he had ran off and yelled for security, the event would've been a minor news blurb, instead of a viral meme that got people to give a shit about the Oscars and made headlines over the literal war in Ukraine. He's definitely not a performer who is acutely aware that the show must go on, under all circumstances. If you asked Chris Rock who Cole Smithey is, he wouldn't ask "is that like where a blacksmith puts his coal?"

But hey Cole, at least you have a forum thread where people discuss things like the identity of your real dad and overanalyze the time your insane mother shot at a burglar and almost killed you in the 70s. If your autistic half brother is Jesus Christ, that makes you like John the Baptist, so there's that.
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Will Smith may be rich and famous, but he will never stop being a short tempered cuckold nigger.
 
Is it possible Cole might one day just ‘snap’ being so frustrated at being unnoticed and mocked by the internet for his pretentiousness and lack of respect and recognition as a reviewer, on top of being unable to escape his relations to his criminal pervert and idiot lolcow of a brother and hick mother. He might explode on the internet in the form of a rant at his ‘fans’ and tell them all to shut the fuck up about weens bugging him Chris for so long?

Would it finally give him some notoriety to mention him in some way for the first time since 2007 since it’s the only thing anyone really wants him to discuss? What would happen if he finally gave up and started talking, would he finally gain attention that he’s wanted all his life?
 
ProfessorCuckulus said:
imagine living in your younger retarded brothers shadow. the same brother who raped your mom. cole is never going to escape the shadow of chris. cant even imagine living like that.
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Cole just won't admit that if he did a talk or something about his family, and what he knows of Chris, he could make a pretty chunk of change. He could just pull shit out of his ass for all anyone else knows and spin it into some southern gothic tale. I mean he could do just a one day thing with one of the better named YouTube creators and get asked questions pertaining to the Chandlers, and could monetize it. Then again, like his retard half brother in the insane asylum, he's got that same ego that makes him believe it's above him.
 
Hassa_Bussa said:
To me he is the most valuable person after Chris in cwcki legends because he has insight on barb, Bob and Chris growing up. One can only wonder what his descriptions of abuse meant, cause it had a major impact on him. But I'm completely fine never finding out because he deserves that.


What I wonder about is his finances. Was Chris making more money than Cole? I don't even know what his job is besides being a movie critic, and even there I don't know how/if he even gets paid.
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I've thought about that too and you got me researching. He seems like a person who stumbled his way into some passive income or un-earned wealth. Not enough to be filthy rich but enough to be able to live comfortably and treat a side hustle as a real job. I thought maybe it was simply marrying into money. Or he was in the right place at the right time in the real estate market, or a settlement.
So I did some reading on the CWCki and found this:

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Here's a sampling of jackpot payouts for Necrotizing Fasciitis misdiagnosis cases.

Cole probably didn't get millions because he didn't die or get an amputation, but he still could've gotten a chunk of change somewhere between $100k and $750k. Enough to pay off the house/condo and live on whatever he makes as a film critic.

I searched "Cole Smithey Lawsuit" and it turns out Goatse Man also thought of this back when I was still President.
HarryHowler said:
Cole's always struck me as something of a drama queen, but I think infecting himself with flesh-eating bacteria would be a stretch even for him. And the guy who wrote that article apparently witnessed this first-hand.

Maybe this is how Cole's managed to make a living for himself in Manhattan despite his film critic "fame" extending to a few small-town newspapers and the two dozen or so people who watch his stuff on YouTube; if he won a big settlement from a malpractice lawsuit, and made some judicious investments with the money he got, it could have provided him with enough financial security to live out his fantasies of being the next Ebert/Maltin/Armond White.
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So Cole got money from a lawsuit and Chris Chan got money from the welfare, how do these chandlers keep getting away with it? Also Chris Chan deserved to be arrested also for neglecting those two dogs. But I think that if Cole had gone to virgina maybe in 2020 or early 2021 and Cole and Chris Chan they could have made a YouTube video reviewing some type of movie and got tons of views on it, Cole being a snobby film critic and Chris Chan saying insane and hilarious one liners during Coles reviews hahahahha would have made them gold.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
I've thought about that too and you got me researching. He seems like a person who stumbled his way into some passive income or un-earned wealth. Not enough to be filthy rich but enough to be able to live comfortably and treat a side hustle as a real job. I thought maybe it was simply marrying into money. Or he was in the right place at the right time in the real estate market, or a settlement.
So I did some reading on the CWCki and found this:

View attachment 3213105
Here's a sampling of jackpot payouts for Necrotizing Fasciitis misdiagnosis cases.

Cole probably didn't get millions because he didn't die or get an amputation, but he still could've gotten a chunk of change somewhere between $100k and $750k. Enough to pay off the house/condo and live on whatever he makes as a film critic.

I searched "Cole Smithey Lawsuit" and it turns out Goatse Man also thought of this back when I was still President.
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That's stupid. Nurses cannot make medical diagnoses.
 
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