The Cole Smithey Thread

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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

DustyR said:
Let me tell you something, Mean Gene. It really gets me all riled up to think about that poseur Coleslaw SMithey. The son of gun refused to acknowledge Christian's plea for help with his mum's holey bum, and now he is off playing in dreamland, pretending to be a big bad, important critic, while in the meantime his mother's house has burned down. And where is he? Nowhere. It's Dusty Rhodes who is sending a money order to Barb, and the many fine people of this forum sending gift cards and other essentials to the Chandlers. Come out, come out, wherever you are, Coleslaw Smithey. The bastard needs to help his mother and not rely on f__king trolls to do it for him! If nobody wants to pay $200 to have a lunch with him, maybe he should man up, and ask his lawyer wife for some dollars bills he can send to his mother.

That man has failed his family. Up until now...he has been a freakshow off in his own world, having a semi- successful life (compared to Christian). That time has ended. He is now a selfish son of a gun who refuses to help his mother when her house burned down because he is too busy playing on the Internet and pretending to be a film critic. Grow up, Coleslaw! Barb Chandler is facing Hard Times, and Coleslaw needs to step up to the plate and show that he is a man.
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Just stop.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

CatParty said:
DustyR said:
Let me tell you something, Mean Gene. It really gets me all riled up to think about that poseur Coleslaw SMithey. The son of gun refused to acknowledge Christian's plea for help with his mum's holey bum, and now he is off playing in dreamland, pretending to be a big bad, important critic, while in the meantime his mother's house has burned down. And where is he? Nowhere. It's Dusty Rhodes who is sending a money order to Barb, and the many fine people of this forum sending gift cards and other essentials to the Chandlers. Come out, come out, wherever you are, Coleslaw Smithey. The bastard needs to help his mother and not rely on f__king trolls to do it for him! If nobody wants to pay $200 to have a lunch with him, maybe he should man up, and ask his lawyer wife for some dollars bills he can send to his mother.

That man has failed his family. Up until now...he has been a freakshow off in his own world, having a semi- successful life (compared to Christian). That time has ended. He is now a selfish son of a gun who refuses to help his mother when her house burned down because he is too busy playing on the Internet and pretending to be a film critic. Grow up, Coleslaw! Barb Chandler is facing Hard Times, and Coleslaw needs to step up to the plate and show that he is a man.
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you're an ass
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Since we've already unpersoned that guy who talked to Chris on Facebook, can we unperson Dusty too?
 
I've never spoken to Chris on facebook, and my donating is not unlike the many other people on here who donated. What does this have to do with the fact that Coleslaw is a pathetic for refusing to contribute to his mother in her time of need?

It's not rocket science. He's off playing a bad imitation of a film critic.
 
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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

DustyR said:
I've never spoken to Chris on facebook, and my donating is not unlike the many other people on here who donated. What does this have to do with the fact that Coleslaw is a pathetic for refusing to contribute to his mother in her time of need?

It's not rocket science. He's off playing a bad imitation of a film critic.
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I think Coleslaw is a dud of a human being, but really if your mother was a horrendous cunt to you your entire life and refused to pony up the very simple detail of who your real father was out of a warped sense of spite, would you care to donate to her? Seriously? What has Barb done for Cole his entire life to justify him extending a hand now?

It's not rocket science.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

DustyR said:
I've never spoken to Chris on facebook, and my donating is not unlike the many other people on here who donated. What does this have to do with the fact that Coleslaw is a pathetic for refusing to contribute to his mother in her time of need?

It's not rocket science. He's off playing a bad imitation of a film critic.
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You were expecting a shitty, selfish harpy to raise a generous, kind, soul?
 
Radiant Quim said:
DustyR said:
I've never spoken to Chris on facebook, and my donating is not unlike the many other people on here who donated. What does this have to do with the fact that Coleslaw is a pathetic for refusing to contribute to his mother in her time of need?

It's not rocket science. He's off playing a bad imitation of a film critic.
Click to expand...

I think Coleslaw is a dud of a human being, but really if your mother was a horrendous cunt to you your entire life and refused to pony up the very simple detail of who your real father was out of a warped sense of spite, would you care to donate to her? Seriously? What has Barb done for Coleslaw his entire life to justify him extending a hand now?

It's not rocket science.
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I totally get what you are saying. That was in my opinion a very fair and sensible outlook for Coleslaw to have. Nobody could look down on for him for that. Then 14 BC burned down, and his 72 year old mother is now homeless, and he is still too busy playing the haughty film critic to give a damn. That changes my opinion of him as a harmless douche to something far less innocuous. He obviously cared enough to come to Christian's 18th birthday party, and he is much older now - should be more adult in his outlook. It's a time to look beyond the past. And I have read his little email to Chris about how horrible it was, and it really does not strike me as enough to justify ignoring your 72 year old mother when her house burned down. What's he going to do, snub Barb's own funeral? He is lucky she is alive and he has a chance to make up for being such a crappy son.
 
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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

DustyR said:
Radiant Quim said:
DustyR said:
I've never spoken to Chris on facebook, and my donating is not unlike the many other people on here who donated. What does this have to do with the fact that Coleslaw is a pathetic for refusing to contribute to his mother in her time of need?

It's not rocket science. He's off playing a bad imitation of a film critic.
Click to expand...

I think Coleslaw is a dud of a human being, but really if your mother was a horrendous cunt to you your entire life and refused to pony up the very simple detail of who your real father was out of a warped sense of spite, would you care to donate to her? Seriously? What has Barb done for Coleslaw his entire life to justify him extending a hand now?

It's not rocket science.
Click to expand...
I totally get what you are saying. That was in my opinion a very fair and sensible outlook for Coleslaw to have. Nobody could look down on for him for that. Then 14 BC burned down, and his 72 year old mother is now homeless, and he is still too busy playing the haughty film critic to give a damn. That changes my opinion of him as a harmless douche to something far less innocuous. He obviously cared enough to come to Christian's 18th birthday party, and he is much older now - should be more adult in his outlook. It's a time to look beyond the past. And I have read his little email to Chris about how horrible it was, and it really does not strike me as enough to justify ignoring your 72 year old mother when her house burned down. What's he going to do, snub Barb's own funeral? He is lucky she is alive and he has a chance to make up for being such a crappy son.
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Save for squeezing him out of her vagina, when has Barb ever been a mom to Coleslaw (that we know of)? Never.

Negating the fact that she kept Coleslaw in the dark about the identity of his father, she also routinely pawned her children off on babysitters so she could presumably go drink, she allegedly abused Coleslaw with unsuitable methods of punishment, and she has consistently lied to her other son (Chris) about why Coleslaw might even begin to be angry with her. Barb is a piece of shit. Bob didn't treat Coleslaw nicely either and we all know how Coleslaw felt about his step-father; when Bob had the duty to be the father Coleslaw never had he also botched it. (And allegedly Bob's own family was incredibly estranged. We aren't dealing with winners, here.)

Coleslaw went out of his way to try and be a good brother to Chris and get along with everyone despite their difficulties. He visited his family far more times than they did for him (once). He did what he could to try and power through the abuse and at least try and participate in his family; they did not return the affection.

You reap what you sow. If Barb wanted to have family around her in her time of need she wouldn't have been a piece of shit to everyone and alienated them, and if that had happened anyways then the other solution was to make amends, which she chose not to do. Not everyone gets to have a Hallmark Channel family; allegedly Coleslaw's in-laws have provided him the nurturing family environment he was denied as a child.

She could very easily try to make amends with Coleslaw. He's only asking who his fucking father is, and she can't even bother to pull that information out of the ashes of her hoard. He owes Barb nothing.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Being a crappy son? No, that's Chris. Coleslaw has a wife. He doesn't live with his mother. Even though he comes across as a huge douche, at least he's trying to make a life for himself while Barb has nothing but a holey ass and regrets of a hoard lost. The best thing he did was to get away from all of them so as to not emulate their follies.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

A-Stump said:
Being a crappy son? No, that's Chris. Coleslaw has a wife. He doesn't live with his mother. Even though he comes across as a huge douche, at least he's trying to make a life for himself while Barb has nothing but a holey ass and regrets of a hoard lost. The best thing he did was to get away from all of them so as to not emulate their follies.
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but remember that he's really only known for three things - Chris, that Toy Story 3 review, and being a pretentious douche.

And considering the way he acts, I think the hate he's garnered is pretty justified.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Jewelsmakerguy said:
And considering the way he acts, I think the hate he's garnered is pretty justified.
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You've got that ass-backwards.

Coleslaw had reason to feel unwanted and hated before he had the chance to do anything. He was abused as a kid, for Peter's sake.
The hate he has undeservewdly experienced made him into the douche he is today.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Jewelsmakerguy said:
A-Stump said:
Being a crappy son? No, that's Chris. Coleslaw has a wife. He doesn't live with his mother. Even though he comes across as a huge douche, at least he's trying to make a life for himself while Barb has nothing but a holey ass and regrets of a hoard lost. The best thing he did was to get away from all of them so as to not emulate their follies.
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but remember that he's really only known for three things - Chris, that Toy Story 3 review, and being a pretentious douche.

And considering the way he acts, I think the hate he's garnered is pretty justified.
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Well those are the only three things WE know about him. That doesn't mean that's all there is to him.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Attention_Whore said:
Jewelsmakerguy said:
A-Stump said:
Being a crappy son? No, that's Chris. Coleslaw has a wife. He doesn't live with his mother. Even though he comes across as a huge douche, at least he's trying to make a life for himself while Barb has nothing but a holey ass and regrets of a hoard lost. The best thing he did was to get away from all of them so as to not emulate their follies.
Click to expand...

but remember that he's really only known for three things - Chris, that Toy Story 3 review, and being a pretentious douche.

And considering the way he acts, I think the hate he's garnered is pretty justified.
Click to expand...

Well those are the only three things WE know about him. That doesn't mean that's all there is to him.
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True.

I guess I'll stop pointing out the obvious.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Cole had finished his usual routine of reviewing another godawful movie. He gave a sigh, what was this world and godawful movies? First, there was Toy Story 3 that earned far more money than such a piece of crap had a right too and the Avengers with its awful Hulk CGI. Where the hell had people's taste in movies gone? Why were they throwing money out at anything that the hollywood system shits out, thought the film critic as he sipped his home crafted beer.
l
He went to check his e-mails, perhaps someone had finally answered his offer to have drinks with him. He couldn't believe no one had responded, yet. After all, he had offered to pay the first round and who wouldn't want to spend time with such one of the last few critics with sense in this world. He gave an exasperated sigh at his e-mails more trolls about his stupid half-brother. He hadn't spoken to Christian in over a decade after he had not helped him find the identity of his true father. He scrolled down, but he stopped did these messages say fire? Had there been a fire in his half-brother's and mother's house? For the first time in years he opened clearly marked troll e-mails and some had links to a newsreport of the house burning down and another Chris giving a tour of the house with it filled with trash. Well no, wonder the place had burned up. He turned off the computer and rolled back on the wheels of his chair. Would his stupid mother and brother come seeking him for help? He gave a rather dark chuckle at the thought.

Did anyone seriously think that he would help the woman who had not only abused him, but lied to him for years of his life and the half-brother who had tried to use him? Of course, he wouldn't as far as he was concerned they had made their own bed and they had to lie in it. His mother would probably try to clog up his apartment with shit anyway and he had a wife and child to take care of. He couldn't take on a mentally ill mother and brother. Even if he did have the money. No way. He took another sip of his craft home beer. He then heard the door open and heard the words of his beautiful wife announce her arrival home. He grinned and put down his beer.

It was time to make love with his sweetheart in their hoard-free bedroom.
 
He comes across as a bit of a pretentious douche, but hey, for all we know that's just his professional persona. He might go home and treat his wife like a queen, and treat his mates like older brothers. He might also just be an all-round twattycake. Who knows?

I think it says a lot about his character that he ended up where he is instead of wasting away in Virginia. It's easy enough to move out of home to another state and work as a retail manager forever, but he's gone pretty far - he got away and made a decent life for himself, so good on him. As for talking to Borb, he's not obliged to stay in contact with his folks for any reason, and he seems to have some pretty solid reasons. I probably wouldn't talk to them either.
 
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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

This is the one point on which I do not judge Cole in any way. If his childhood was anything like he claims it was, he has no obligation to get in contact with his family for any reason, up to and including Barb's death.

There is no way to win with a woman like Barb, unless you are a goddamn martyr. Cole's presence wouldn't help Barb or Chris. If she's as bad as I think she is, Cole being there would only end up making things worse. Being in dire straits isn't going to make Barb humble or grateful; it's going to make her scared and more desperate to assert control, and that is going to turn her into a fucking monster of entitlement that will turn Chris's current whining into a five-year-old asking for an extra cookie. There's a reason no one in the Chandlers' IRL circle is stepping up to the plate right now: because they all know better.
 
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