The Cole Smithey Thread

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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Just did a Google search for "Cole Smithey is..." The second result was for his mini-review of "Our Idiot Brother."

For a moment, I had such hope.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

DrChristianTroy said:
A-Stump said:
Dr. Cuddlebug said:
Coleslaw Smithey's top Google searches

http://img833.imageshack.us/img833/673/6jmc.png
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It's bad when his first results almost certainly correlate to CWC. It must feel kind of bad to be the 'smartest critic alive' and be outshined in notoriety by your retarded half brother.
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I love that "is an idiot" is in the top 5.
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If you google him and read some of the pages, he's pretty much universally panned because of his Toy Story 3 review. It's pretty funny because most of those people have no clue about his brother. He did get some name recognition off of it which may have been the entire point.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Considering reporters often use Google for their own research, anyone writing an article about the Toy Story 3 review likely saw the CWCki article and was likely dumbfounded by it's contents.

Not like it really matters because the guy's only noteworthy accomplishment was knocking a kid's movie, taking things out of context, and generally being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk. I hope Cole knows that having a Thesaurus handy when writing reviews doesn't really make him look smart. It mostly means he can't really be himself when writing a review and it feels like he's trying too hard to distance himself from everyone else. The end result is a bald fifty year old douche who sits around writing comics reviews nobody but trolls read.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

drmccoy said:
DrChristianTroy said:
A-Stump said:
It's bad when his first results almost certainly correlate to CWC. It must feel kind of bad to be the 'smartest critic alive' and be outshined in notoriety by your retarded half brother.
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I love that "is an idiot" is in the top 5.
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If you google him and read some of the pages, he's pretty much universally panned because of his Toy Story 3 review. It's pretty funny because most of those people have no clue about his brother. He did get some name recognition off of it which may have been the entire point.
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I would say that he doesn't deserve it and people are being too hard on him for helping to cause the imperfect 99% rating, if not for that fact his review makes it painfully obvious he wasn't paying attention to the movie.

Also, didn't he lose his accreditation as a "real" movie critic in the last year or so? Or am I just making shit up?
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I'd love to know why the CWCki claims that Cole lives a "normal life". Pretending to be a bigshot movie critic (despite almost nobody even reading his reviews and videos) while likely living on welfare and being absolutely full of shit is far from living a "normal life". He's almost as insane as Chris.

There is no way that he's a paid movie critic, and I doubt he has any connections in that field because very, very few people watch his "movie week" on Youtube and almost nobody comments on his Facebook page. Nobody would hire him for freelance work.

Has anyone noticed that many of his video "reviews" of new films show footage lifted directly from the trailers in the background and his commentary just consists of the general synopsis, a few comments on the acting and script (generally copying the opinions on other critics) and very little info about the actual film, giving absolutely no evidence that he's seen them? I would be willing to bet that he hasn't seen a good majority of the new films he "reviews". I doubt his welfare payments would allow for him to see so many films.

He must spend a lot of time recording and editing those videos to "review" films he most likely hasn't seen. What kind of normal person would make this effort for videos that so few people even review?

He has obviously bought Facebook likes for his page, because there's 12k or so likes but almost nobody comments on or likes his constant updates.

What kind of normal person would call himself "THE SMARTEST FILM CRITIC IN THE WORLD", especially since many of his reviews give no evidence of him having even seen the films? It's insane arrogance and an insult to the millions of better film critics in the world and yes, there are millions of people who could make better reviews than this guy.

And last but not least, no normal "film critic" of his calibre would create ebay auctions to drink beer with him, with starting bids of $250. Been mentioned many times but it still stands.
 
The above assessment by simcut makes several good points. I'd like to add that professional film critics don't pay for movie tickets out of their own pockets. The publication for which they write their reviews arrange for the critics to attend a screening before the film is released to the public at large. Cole in at least one of his reviews mentions buying a ticket to a movie on the day of its general release, and you'd think, with his ego, if he was such a big shot, he'd have mentioned how beneath him it was to have paid for his own ticket or that the film wasn't screened for critics (which is typically the case with guaranteed awful films, not movies like "Toy Story 3").
 
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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

simcut said:
I'd love to know why the CWCki claims that Coleslaw lives a "normal life". Pretending to be a bigshot movie critic (despite almost nobody even reading his reviews and videos) while likely living on welfare and being absolutely full of shit is far from living a "normal life". He's almost as insane as Chris.

There is no way that he's a paid movie critic, and I doubt he has any connections in that field because very, very few people watch his "movie week" on Youtube and almost nobody comments on his Facebook page. Nobody would hire him for freelance work.

Has anyone noticed that many of his video "reviews" of new films show footage lifted directly from the trailers in the background and his commentary just consists of the general synopsis, a few comments on the acting and script (generally copying the opinions on other critics) and very little info about the actual film, giving absolutely no evidence that he's seen them? I would be willing to bet that he hasn't seen a good majority of the new films he "reviews". I doubt his welfare payments would allow for him to see so many films.

He must spend a lot of time recording and editing those videos to "review" films he most likely hasn't seen. What kind of normal person would make this effort for videos that so few people even review?

He has obviously bought Facebook likes for his page, because there's 12k or so likes but almost nobody comments on or likes his constant updates.

What kind of normal person would call himself "THE SMARTEST FILM CRITIC IN THE WORLD", especially since many of his reviews give no evidence of him having even seen the films? It's insane arrogance and an insult to the millions of better film critics in the world and yes, there are millions of people who could make better reviews than this guy.

And last but not least, no normal "film critic" of his calibre would create ebay auctions to drink beer with him, with starting bids of $250. Been mentioned many times but it still stands.
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As far as I know most of that page was written when little was known about Cole, someone just glanced at him and saw that he was a movie reviewer and assumed that meant success. Page probably needs a rewrite to show that Cole is about as much a critic as Chris is a comic artist
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I get the feeling that whatever personality disorder(s) that runs rampant with the Weston lineage affected Chris, Coleslaw, and Barb in varying ways. Barb is a hoarder and manipulator, Chris is a narcissist, and Coleslaw is pretty much Chris minus the pervasive learning disabilities. Coleslaw, for all intents and purposes, is "an adult". Allegedly, he has a wife (???) and I'm not sure if it was substantiated or not, but his in-laws are pretty much his surrogate family. Coleslaw claims to be a victim of familial abuse, and in many cases victims of this variety of abuse will construct their own family around them; it seems Coleslaw has done this with his in-laws.

He has some delusions of grandeur and he is a bit of an attention whore, but I find it hard to really be too rough on the guy. He doesn't come off as the kind of guy to live off of welfare, and I believe he lives in New York City. If he doesn't make a lot of money as a film critic then his wife is likely the breadwinner in their relationship, which in this day and age is not something to be too ashamed of. He comes off as arrogant and he has this persona he adopts, but I feel like that's just a shell so he appears important; he probably just wants the validation his family never gave him. For what it's worth, I think Coleslaw has done alright for himself; he smartly got out of a severely abusive situation, he found the freedom to express his creativity (being in a band and writing movie reviews), and allegedly he has a healthy relationship.

(Still, the "$250 to drink beer with me, you pay the tab" eBay auction makes it really hard to be on his side.)
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

simcut said:
...likely living on welfare...
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Didn't we find out a while ago that Cole's wife is a fairly successful lawyer? I doubt he qualifies for welfare. More likely he's a "househusband". i.e. he does token amounts of housework/childcare and devotes his life to his hobbies.
 
Pikonic said:
DrChristianTroy said:
Exactly. If Bob doesn't have a smiley Coleslaw doesn't deserve one. One more way Coleslaw loses to Bob.
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Where is his axe?
 
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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

geronimo_smith said:
simcut said:
...likely living on welfare...
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Didn't we find out a while ago that Coleslaw's wife is a fairly successful lawyer?
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Has that been verified though? Seems hard to believe that a successful lawyer would have anything to do with him, unless she's widowed and is 20 years older.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

simcut said:
geronimo_smith said:
simcut said:
...likely living on welfare...
Click to expand...

Didn't we find out a while ago that Coleslaw's wife is a fairly successful lawyer?
Click to expand...

Has that been verified though? Seems hard to believe that a successful lawyer would have anything to do with him, unless she's widowed and is 20 years older.
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My mother temporarily worked as a paralegal for a lawyer who was absolutely batshit insane. My mother never indicated that she was a poor lawyer - just batshit insane (in the end she fired my mom for something that was not in any way my mom's fault right before Christmas two years ago, and my mom was furious but hasn't looked back and has since gotten successful jobs with non-batshit insane people).

Point is, being a successful lawyer does not mean you're above certain things... and I'm sure dating Coleslaw is not the worst thing that could happen to some lawyers.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

BALLZ-BROKEN said:
What Hitler did was cabbage compared to Coleslaw!
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:alog: :alog: :alog: I can only imagine what kind of A-Logging equivalent to Coleslaw would be.
 
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