The Cole Smithey Thread

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I thought that maybe he was being supported by the ads on his website. I looked at his site on my iPhone though and all I saw was an amazon ad.

Oh that's where all the pics of him have been hiding: his website. All with a pretentious air to them.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

GrandNumberOfPounds said:
Someone already said it. Chris and Coleslaw are pretty much the same person, it's just that Coleslaw managed to raise his BS to higher levels of pseudo-sophistication than Chris could ever manage, plus Coleslaw completed his love quest.
Click to expand...
Well, one could doubt Coleslaw's love quest after all, could he really of been married? The only way Cole could even be more like his half-brother is if the man himself was on a :tugboat: and wasted most of his time watching movies.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I love how the CWCki article makes him sound like a decently successful guy... then when I come here, everyone's opinion lines up with mine that he's a colossal loser. There's something amusing about the contrast. The article suggests he is the successful one, yet someone here pointed out (and rightly so!) that he'll forever be in the shadow of his autistic manchild brother. Oh, life.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Burning Love said:
I love how the CWCki article makes him sound like a decently successful guy... then when I come here, everyone's opinion lines up with mine that he's a colossal loser. There's something amusing about the contrast. The article suggests he is the successful one, yet someone here pointed out (and rightly so!) that he'll forever be in the shadow of his autistic manchild brother. Oh, life.
Click to expand...
As I recall, the consensus people had a few years back was an even more positive view of Cole than the current CWCki article presents. Hell, the CWCki article of many years ago seemed outright adulatory towards him. So, I'd say the current article bears vestiges of an era of the CWCki's lifespan wherein it was acceptable to outright insult Chris. That inevitably lead to everyone else getting glorified by comparison.

Say what you will of A-Log, but I feel like he inadvertently occasioned some pretty serious self-reflection for the community following Chris.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I'm starting to think that Cole doesn't actually like movies.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Burning Love said:
I love how the CWCki article makes him sound like a decently successful guy... then when I come here, everyone's opinion lines up with mine that he's a colossal loser. There's something amusing about the contrast. The article suggests he is the successful one, yet someone here pointed out (and rightly so!) that he'll forever be in the shadow of his autistic manchild brother. Oh, life.
Click to expand...
Well compared to Chris, Cole's life might be better though no one knows how better Cole's life is. We could be sure that he lives it better than Chris in terms of say health, hygiene, or finances but it doesn't excuse the fact that his reviews are boring paragraphs with pseudo-intellectual wording.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

@Dormiebasne: I don't get what would make the consensus of previous years any better than now. I haven't seen anything of this guy that would make me think "wow, what a successful and well-balanced person!" In fact, the only way he looks anything like a success story is next to OPL.

@c-no: True. No doubt on the health/hygiene/finances front, but if his reviews are anything to go by, he seems like a very bitter/angry person. I'll grant him that if I were raised by the people he was, I would be every bit as bitter/angry, but something tells me that in the interim (between shitty upbringing and present day life) his world hasn't been that grand.

Then again I could just be reading way too far into it and he's just a standard middle aged hipster wannabe. I'd like to know if he has an actual job or not, because I don't see him making it in the world from his pseudo-intellectual reviews alone.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Burning Love said:
@Dormiebasne: I don't get what would make the consensus of previous years any better than now. I haven't seen anything of this guy that would make me think "wow, what a successful and well-balanced person!" In fact, the only way he looks anything like a success story is next to OPL.
Click to expand...
That's exactly my point. Back then, people mostly looked at the summary of Cole's life (not his actual reviews) as well as the e-mails between him and Chris and uncritically concluded "Shit, this guy's got it together/made something of himself". Back then, people were mostly about shitting on Chris (something I'm not innocent of, myself), rather than objectively being fascinated by him in a morbid way.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Dormiebasne said:
Burning Love said:
@Dormiebasne: I don't get what would make the consensus of previous years any better than now. I haven't seen anything of this guy that would make me think "wow, what a successful and well-balanced person!" In fact, the only way he looks anything like a success story is next to OPL.
Click to expand...
That's exactly my point. Back then, people mostly looked at the summary of Coleslaw's life (not his actual reviews) as well as the e-mails between him and Chris and uncritically concluded "Shit, this guy's got it together/made something of himself". Back then, people were mostly about shitting on Chris (something I'm not innocent of, myself), rather than objectively being fascinated by him in a morbid way.
Click to expand...
So basically, the editors of CWCki back in the day were uncritical and only gave a shit about making Chris look even worse?

That's pretty bullshit, they could have just waited to see him do it to himself over and over. I know how far back the trolling and such goes but I don't know anything about CWCki's history. I take it editors in the early days weren't quite as 'civil'.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Dormiebasne said:
Burning Love said:
@Dormiebasne: I don't get what would make the consensus of previous years any better than now. I haven't seen anything of this guy that would make me think "wow, what a successful and well-balanced person!" In fact, the only way he looks anything like a success story is next to OPL.
Click to expand...
That's exactly my point. Back then, people mostly looked at the summary of Coleslaw's life (not his actual reviews) as well as the e-mails between him and Chris and uncritically concluded "Shit, this guy's got it together/made something of himself". Back then, people were mostly about shitting on Chris (something I'm not innocent of, myself), rather than objectively being fascinated by him in a morbid way.
Click to expand...
Yeah, back then those who weren't trolls or white knights would just do just that on Chris. We ourselves had our own problems and by reading about Chris, we thought "Hey, there is someone who is a bigger loser than me!". Since we some us have read Cole's movie reviews and left links or impressions of said reviews for others to see, the whole "made something of himself" part of Cole went down from "successful film-critic" to "pseudo-intellectual hipster film-critic".

@Burning Love: If Cole had a job aside from being a film-critic, it'd probably be something that could pay the bills compared to his reviews. If he really is married or still married then his wife is the one who brings in the money. Also, according to his CWCki article, Cole was a musician once. Perhaps that might be one way he might be making money nowadays, giving out music lessons on drums or something like that.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Burning Love said:
Dormiebasne said:
Burning Love said:
@Dormiebasne: I don't get what would make the consensus of previous years any better than now. I haven't seen anything of this guy that would make me think "wow, what a successful and well-balanced person!" In fact, the only way he looks anything like a success story is next to OPL.
Click to expand...
That's exactly my point. Back then, people mostly looked at the summary of Coleslaw's life (not his actual reviews) as well as the e-mails between him and Chris and uncritically concluded "Shit, this guy's got it together/made something of himself". Back then, people were mostly about shitting on Chris (something I'm not innocent of, myself), rather than objectively being fascinated by him in a morbid way.
Click to expand...
So basically, the editors of CWCki back in the day were uncritical and only gave a shit about making Chris look even worse?

That's pretty bullshit, they could have just waited to see him do it to himself over and over. I know how far back the trolling and such goes but I don't know anything about CWCki's history. I take it editors in the early days weren't quite as 'civil'.
Click to expand...
Well, I won't go so far as to put it like that, but I will say that stuff we now consider "A-Logging" and A-Loggish people were FAR more tolerated when I was first seriously following Chris (Late 2008-early August 2009). College got in the way, so until recently I've only been lightly apprised of the developments in Chris's life (Bob's death, legal troubles, etc.). Because of that, I felt some serious shock when I came back after a few years away and saw stuff like "don't outright insult Chris" on the CWCki's main page, as well as the more thoughtful and civil nature of posts on relevant forums. And that's not just in discussions relevant to Chris, but also in the General forums. They're all good changes, though. But they're almost as shocking as the changes undergone by Chris himself.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

He's in NYC, he may have freelancing connections. You can get by freelancing in New York, especially if you have another regular income.

I'm meh about Cole. He doesn't strike me as a particularly pleasant person or a good writer, and he's trying too hard to be a hipster, but he's putting in the effort make a career doing what he went to college to study, searching for a break in a niche market that at the moment is oversaturated. He's a small fish with a big ego trying to swim with the sharks.

Dormiebasne said:
Well, I won't go so far as to put it like that, but I will say that stuff we now consider "A-Logging" and A-Loggish people were FAR more tolerated when I was first seriously following Chris (Late 2008-early August 2009). College got in the way, so until recently I've only been lightly apprised of the developments in Chris's life (Bob's death, legal troubles, etc.). Because of that, I felt some serious shock when I came back after a few years away and saw stuff like "don't outright insult Chris" on the CWCki's main page, as well as the more thoughtful and civil nature of posts on relevant forums. And that's not just in discussions relevant to Chris, but also in the General forums. They're all good changes, though. But they're almost as shocking as the changes undergone by Chris himself.
Click to expand...

The changes make sense if you see it in terms of a fandom, which is kind of what all this amounts to. Fandoms get factions--the shipping fandom and the rage fandom and the fandom that won't allow any criticism whatsoever and so on. This group is not the ED fandom or the Something Awful fandom or the /cwc/ fandom, all of which have various levels of tolerance depending on what exactly they're getting out of documenting Chris. This board seems to be an incredulous/analytical group, and the rules reflect that by actively discouraging shit that will get in the way of the group discussion, which is both a good idea and also pretty self-aware.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Dark Mirror Hole said:
His review of "Freddy Got Fingered":
In this sadly unloved comedy, class clown extraordinaire Tom Green brings his anti-establishment performance art comedy to a recurring boil with a movie that combines a punk rock esthetic with acted-out cartoon abandon. Where teen gross-out movies like the recent "Say It Isn’t So" or "Tomcats" sink in their own toilet humor, "Freddy Got Fingered" soars because of Green’s sincerely committed imagination, curiosity, and irony-free execution of comic stunts that frequently involve oral fixation, word play, or Green’s bizarre take on large animals' naughty appendages. Non sequitur comic gags involving skateboard ramps, salamis, a British Bobby uniform, and a cordless phone play out behind cartoon animator hopeful Gord Brody’s (Green) attempts at finding his niche in society, thereby making his father (Rip Torn) proud. Green masterfully achieves his goal of ‘confusing audiences enough to enjoy’ his signature brand of demented comedy with a heart of gold. It’s a movie that works perfectly on its own terms, much like a Swiss watch in a doghouse overrun by bees and monkeys.
Tom Green is a comic genius. Audiences familiar with his MTV show already know the twisted magic that pops out the lanky prankster with unrelenting regularity. As director, Green layers songs from punk music standard bearers The New York Dolls and The Sex Pistols to fuel his irreverent vision while subtly commenting on the scene at hand. The Pistol’s song "Problems" becomes an opening power chord statement for the movie as Gord skateboards through a shopping mall while being chased by irate security guards. Gord pulls off a few skating flourishes to show mocking grace under pressure before catching up with his parents who are waiting to see their boy off to Los Angeles to pitch his cartoon ideas and make something of his life.
Dad and mom surprise Gord with a blue convertible Le Baron that instantly becomes an award of favoritism that the 28-year-old Gord flaunts over his 25-year-old brother Freddy. Freddy is as straitlaced and dull as Gord is unpredictable and wild. It’s a classic sibling rivalry that goes beyond crisis when, after Gord’s dad Jim ruins his skateboard ramp, and Gord responds by accusing daddy of ‘fingering Freddie’ to a family counselor. In this way, Gord pits authority on itself and wins a victory over his brownnosing brother and his overbearing father. Sure it’s a last ditch mean-as-snakespit thing to do, but Gord seizes the opportunity like the underestimated no holds barred man-boy that he is. Gord doesn’t want to be taken seriously, he just wants to be taken (as in accepted).
After meeting with failure in getting a top L.A. television executive to hire him, Gord returns home to Portland to further incubate in his parent’s house. On a day that Gord is supposed to be out looking for a job, Jim returns home to find Gord wearing one of his suits backward while holding a briefcase in front of a full length mirror and repeating a ditty to the effect of, ‘I’m a backward man, I’m a backward man.’ The scene is loaded with humor as Gord lies about having secured a job with a computer company to his overjoyed father before going back to his self entertaining mirror act.
The character that the movie turns on is Gord’s adorable love interest Betty (Marisa Couglan - "Teaching Mrs. Tingle"), a paraplegic nymphomaniac who also happens to be an amateur rocket scientist. Betty can’t get enough of having Gord cane her lifeless legs or letting her give him oral sex. It’s through Betty’s bottomless inspiration that Gord is able to turn his personality crisis into a successful career as an animator and finally reconcile the differences he has with his dad.
By that time Gord has perhaps fondled one too many animal penises (once while repeating "I’m a farmer, I’m a farmer"), and spent a little too long getting intimate with an umbilical cord (by duct taping a piece of umbilicus to his navel that gets discovered by Betty), or a roadkill deer (which he guts and wears on his head). What’s important is Tom Green’s priceless comic delivery, quick to the mark timing, and daredevil sense of humor. When Gord tries to impress Betty at a nice restaurant by pretending to be a stock market consultant, he uses an out of date cordless phone with a tape recorder to fill in as a cell phone. Gord’s haiku rendition of the stock market is in a league of its own. For every person who walks out of "When Freddy Got Fingered," there will be two hundred others howling in laughter.
Rated R. 92 mins. (A) (Five Stars - out of five/no halves)
He gave it an A. Let that sink in.
Click to expand...
Tryhard Spotted!!
Yeah, no. Freddy Got Fingered was made just for cheap laughs. Tom Green was relevant at the time so MTV milked him for all it's worth. The producers probably knew it wasn't going to be a timeless comedy (like Some Like It Hot for example), but they didn't care. People were gonna buy tickets (or so they thought), and buy DVDs. The cult following can hate me all they want, still doesn't make the movie good. Like the Toy Story 3 review, he's just trying to be edgey.

"Daddy, would you like some sausage" No Cole, fuck off.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Zim said:
I'm starting to think that Coleslaw doesn't actually like movies.
Click to expand...

How much are you willing to bet that he doesn't?

I also wonder whether or not Coleslaw's hiding something.

Now before you all go :alog: towards me, just hear me out on this. As established earlier in the thread, he and Chris both share similar traits and egos, were raised by the same negligent parent for most their lives, have limited mindsets, and both act like they're the "end all, be all."

With that taken into mind, there's two possible outcomes: There is something about him that he's not revealing to anyone (wifey included). Or Barb raised him almost the exact same way she did Chris, and he's trying to compensate for that by coming off as some try-hard wannabe "reviewer".

Either way, anything's possible.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Jewelsmakerguy said:
Zim said:
I'm starting to think that Coleslaw doesn't actually like movies.
Click to expand...

How much are you willing to bet that he doesn't?

I also wonder whether or not Coleslaw's hiding something.

Now before you all go :alog: towards me, just hear me out on this. As established earlier in the thread, he and Chris both share similar traits and egos, were raised by the same negligent parent for most their lives, have limited mindsets, and both act like they're the "end all, be all."

With that taken into mind, there's two possible outcomes: There is something about him that he's not revealing to anyone (wifey included). Or Barb raised him almost the exact same way she did Chris, and he's trying to compensate for that by coming off as some try-hard wannabe "reviewer".

Either way, anything's possible.
Click to expand...
I think they both jus have massive fucking egos the size of Toronto
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Cole is just trying to make a go of the only thing Westons have any ability to do - criticize. Shame he's an idiot.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

revengeofphil said:
I think they both jus have massive fucking egos the size of Toronto
Click to expand...

Maybe not super duper big for a city, but big enough for an ego.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom