The Cole Smithey Thread

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Bgheff said:
According to his feedback he's been doing it at least since Jul-24-11 when someone bid 99 cents. I remember reading about that on the old forums, so I'd guess he's been doing it for at least two years with no takers.
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Sounds a lot like Chris and his love quest.
 
Yawning Squirtle said:
Bgheff said:
According to his feedback he's been doing it at least since Jul-24-11 when someone bid 99 cents. I remember reading about that on the old forums, so I'd guess he's been doing it for at least two years with no takers.
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Sounds a lot like Chris and his love quest.
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runs in the family
 
c-no said:
Springblossom said:
Question 2: Parody? Or Real?

As for the morals contained in Dahl’s well-told story, you’ll have to turn a blind eye to the colonialist themes inherent in Wonka’s importing of Oompa-Loompas to populate his workforce. Slavery is still with us.
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Without looking it up, I'm gonna say: REAL. Did I win?
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Looking it up, you are a winner! (And Cole is a loser.)
 
Henry Bemis said:
c-no said:
Springblossom said:
Question 2: Parody? Or Real?

As for the morals contained in Dahl’s well-told story, you’ll have to turn a blind eye to the colonialist themes inherent in Wonka’s importing of Oompa-Loompas to populate his workforce. Slavery is still with us.
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Without looking it up, I'm gonna say: REAL. Did I win?
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Looking it up, you are a winner! (And Cole is a loser.)
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HOORAY!!! What is my prize?? On a more serious note, seeing as how Cole's E-bay auction is like Chris' love quest, could that mean Cole might go down a similar path but with some differences?
 
The eBay auction is like Cole's attraction sign. "Wanted: Someone to drink craft beer with me. Must be willing to pay. No Republicans."
 
c-no said:
DykesDykesChina said:
The funny thing about Coleslaw is that he would be completely unknown if not for the antics of his tard brother.
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That and his Toy Story 3 review.
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Which he was only really known for for about a week, tops.

(On the other hand, wasn't he in Time Magazine once for that? Perhaps he'll be known centuries in the future to some collector of ancient magazines as 'that douchebag from the July 2010 issue' or whatever.)
 
“Life of Pi” is not without its flaws. Cutaway sequences to an adult Pi (Irrfan Khan) retelling his story to an ingratiating author, tip the film conspicuously to its inspirational intentions. The subordinate plot speaks to a lack of confidence in David Mage’s script construction — preaching rather trusting the audience to take away their own personal truths from the story. Yet the film’s overall effect is an incredibly rich cinematic experience incomparable to anything that has come before.
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http://www.colesmithey.com/capsules/2012/10/the-life-of-pi.html

Someone else here thinks Cole didn't "get" this movie at all?
 
Springblossom said:
Francine StripeCheer said:
Hey - quick quiz - is this a Cole Smithey parody, or a genuine quote from his Oz the Great and Powerful review?

“Oz the Great and Powerful” misses a wide-open opportunity for nuanced social commentary that the Depression era “Wizard of Oz” so eloquently seized. An auteur such as Guillermo del Toro would likely have been a better choice to script such a potentially rich fantasy as rooted in the global pressures of modern day existence.
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Question 2: Parody? Or Real?

As for the morals contained in Dahl’s well-told story, you’ll have to turn a blind eye to the colonialist themes inherent in Wonka’s importing of Oompa-Loompas to populate his workforce. Slavery is still with us.
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Ironically, Dahl changed the characters to Oompa-loompas from African Pygmies, in order to prevent people from making exactly this comparison.

Way to fuck up, Cole.
 
Cole is about as self centered as Chris. Sad.

I would take Saving Private Ryan over Come and See any day. Or maybe I'm not pretentious enough to appreciate it.
 
In his review for the movie Mama he ranted about the city it was filmed in.

Although the story is set in Richmond, Virginia, the movie never gives so much as a glimpse of that historic town’s iconic personality. The filmmakers could have at least taken a spin down Monument Avenue for crying out loud.
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I can just imagaine Chris saying that except with Richmond switched to Ruckersville.
 
The Joker said:
In his review for the movie Mama he ranted about the city it was filmed in.

Although the story is set in Richmond, Virginia, the movie never gives so much as a glimpse of that historic town’s iconic personality. The filmmakers could have at least taken a spin down Monument Avenue for crying out loud.
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I can just imagaine Chris saying that except with Richmond switched to Ruckersville.
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I live in Richmond, and I wouldn't care about something like that.
 
So is Cole really hipster to the bone, or is that just because, like his wife (apparently), they were the first people to give him the time of day? Much like any of the Chandlers, Cole doesn't have seem to have much in the ways of particular talents or charisma and is thus very impressionable.
 
MysticMisty said:
I would say that Cole doesn't "get" the majority of the movies he watches.
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I would go even further to say that Cole doesn't even watch the movies he "critiques".
 
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