So for you guys wondering what
@Rumpled Foreskin and
@Dunsparce are talking about, we had a new player in our Wednesday games. He was a table top buddy of one of our regulars, since the pair of them had another game that went bust. Our DM said it was okay, since he has a policy that the more, the better. Little did we know that this new guy was an embarrassment who managed to in the first hour of the session get under most of our skins.
He showed up and immediately spent his goodwill by doing this awkward and cringey Gollum impersonation and kept it up for minutes on end the first time he showed up. He also never bothered to find a good place for his pet quail for sessions, so he'd fairly regularly have his bird scream into the microphone without giving a single fuck. His character sheet and design were also something that clawed its way out of a shonen manga in a medieval setting; he tried to claim it was a Victorian setting appropriate one, but it is the anti-steampunk so no. I'm pretty sure you can fucking tell what his character was in my art given this simple description.
He also was cripplingly lazy and cheaty with his character sheet. He never could be assed to make his character sheet for himself; he demanded his former DM and our DM to make his sheets for him. His sheet he used was a three way process between himself, the DM of his old Victorian game, and our good player restatting it for the setting. It was supposed to just be a quick temporary one, but he never bothered to make a sheet of his own, which makes me think he did that on purpose due to loving his character he mad. He managed to weasel in things like being an inch shorter than 8 ft so he could still be a Medium sized character but still use large weapons until our DM said no. He also took feats without their prerequisites and told no one. Best example was when he took cleave without Power Attack, since he wanted to be a living Cuisinart I think.
In game he played like shit too. In the two sessions we had with him he managed to do nothing but be useless. In the first session, he decided to use his weapon on a monster that was known to have a metal eating ability (not a Rust Monster, a Black Pudding). He fucked himself out of his main weapon, but then cheerily said he had another one... without it being on his sheet. DM gave him it since otherwise he'd be reduced to throwing javelins. He then got a pity weapon that he abused by sniffing it like a dog.
In his second and last session, he got destroyed by our Half-orc Barbarian, who crushed him with his bare fucking hands after crit failing a grapple check. He got destroyed because he tried to prevent him from carving a name onto this big fucking boar (a section boss) we just fought for no logical reason. Better yet, he did this after being told by the DM on three separate occasions that it was an awful idea; he even rolled max on a WIS check that told him not to mess with the Half-Orc. So he ignored the DM even as he said "are you sure?" multiple times, the tell that what you are about to do is going to be fatal. Our barb then proceeded to paint his guts into a sun on the ground and did a Viking ritual with his organs, which for the character counted as a labor to cure his madness.
Also fun fact: he did nothing but look at trees and smelled flowers before getting attacked by said boar. Hell, he agro'd it too by just traipsing along like a dipshit. That he dodged every hit was the only awesome thing he ever fucking did.
Another fun fact, we just erased his character from existence when he came back as a skeleton along with another character that didn't match the party. Our cleric just erased him with turn undead, one of our casters burned the clothes and I kicked his ashes away. We now have another cursed item, the Cursed Mask of the Weeb.
