🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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Mr. Manchester said:
On the night of this blood moon not only did I successfully complete my wizard ritual of basic hygiene, going to work and the gym but I know it was successful because my Rickey's Felted Sauce arrived today, a day early. My powers of wizardry are at their zenith this night. Whatever stupid backwards tampon magic Tarl is trying to do right now is just going to fail miserably and probably backfire.

I will now complete the blood moon ritual.

Tarl Warwick is a retard.

BY THE POWERS OF THE BLOOD MOON I PLACE A CIRCLE OF PROTECTION ON EVERY KIWI FARMER, TMDWU
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/I take off my sword and wizard hat
/cast global bloodmoon, forming a bubble of protection over all Kiwi Farmers
/I project my energy outwards to my familiars in proximity
/Do as you will to complete the continuance of this global protection spell
**Bloodmoon power surges outward
 
ShiverStar said:
Nikki posted a Styx update. Archive incoming but I'm just on my phone so if someone wants to do a local one let me know and I'll stop working on mine.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zMNaUmkzLzw
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Nikkster - The Horrific Demise of Styxhexenlies [zMNaUmkzLzw - 817x460 - 13m06s].png
I'M PICKLE RIIIIIIIICK
 
Grayback said:
The only time I've ever encountered this line before was from severe drug addicts. It's one of their favorites, for whatever reason.
Maybe they just want to believe that their sad lives actually have meaning. That they're actually special, not just loser junkies. And their brains are too fried for them to realize that this is all just wishful thinking, willful misinterpretation, delusion.

I even had a classmate try to convince me, in the middle of a college trip to Europe, that he was a member of a US government agency.
He whipped out a city map, started pointing out government offices and other key locations that he was going to visit that day for something, and told me that he could really use a guy like me for some "important work" while we were there. He knew that my college major lined up with government work, and he suggested that he could even help get me hired by the Feds once we got back home.

From context that I would learn later, he just wanted me to watch his back while he went around the city buying drugs.

eta: The professors got called by the police all week and had to chase this kid around the city. I think he got deported mid-trip.
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I also knew an old drugger in town, a failed pharmacy student, who claimed to be a government agent, too. And he would disappear for weeks or months at a time. He was too much of a certifiable fuckup to be an agent, though. He was a fantasist. I pulled him out of a car wreck, once, out of the driver's seat, reeking of booze, and he swore up and down that the real driver had lit out cross-country for a burg 17 miles away. Sure, Bill. And RIP.
 
Nig Nog Neanderthal said:
Somebody else can spark up my share, forever
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I know what you mean. I have a grower friend who brings me a large jar of latest product when they swing through town. They're big beautiful buds but the stuff is so strong I don't like to smoke it and it's been sitting on the shelf like a specimen; like an ornament to my college days.

Hey, HAPPY FOURTEEN-HUNDRED, Folks.
 
The little edgelord bitch is up late with more sacrilege (one of the 3 main religions always gets spared by his trolling...) and a huge heap of projection when it comes to someone who's actually going to be gargling nuts. 1000020642.jpg
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
1400 get!View attachment 8650002
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I've got $200 for food, $1000 for liquor and $500 to bribe the local cemetery groundskeeper to let us dig up bodies to get the parts we need to summon a demon to destroy the judge who signed that bench warrant and the cops who are trying to execute it. Destroy them randy. Destroy

But mr tarl that would be murder, we can't go around murdering cops and judges

Exactly randy, exactly

Is this you talking or the liquor?

Randy.....I am the liquor. Now go randy and prepare the ingredients for our demon summoning ritual. We must begin before the stars align so that saturn is in retrograde and in the house of mercury.....and before mom narcs me out to the cops
 
Locust Day said:
Look at this hokey false bravado:

"You may get me down on one knee but you will never get me on two. I am a Warwick."


(Yeah, Tarl, the Warwick name has lost a bit of its luster since we saw your dad's police report). This guy has spent his whole life avoiding adult experience. Miraculously, he figured out a way to earn a living while doing so through e-celebrity, but he still was totally unprepared for the crises he brought on himself: marriage and girlfriend, health, legal and financial difficulties. His default position is to retreat into fantasy and defiance and hope the problems resolve themselves somehow. Like, if he just pretends the court cases are stupid and unimportant, and the authorities are incompetent buffoons, they can't affect him much. This is a child's way of coping.

As an aside, wouldn't it be crazy if they book Styx into Rikers Island (supposed to close, but apparently they're keeping it open a while longer)? Like New Orleans, he picks the worst places to be arrested. I figure next time he'll vacation in Detroit.
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It wouldn't be crazy at all....as a matter of fact if he is arrested in NYC any of the 5 boros he will in fact be sitting in rikers until extradition hearings at the least.

However, unless tarl totally unfurls during the process hed be booked into the dorm building OBCC. Its not horrific in comparison to some other buildings ie c 75, but the food is deplorable to my understand they serve a burger with the middle frozen and the outer ring burnt.

However if he presents as a nut case, which I anticipate he is in a shit load of fuck. The stories I have heard about the isolation and violation when inmates intermingled is something you can fathom.

Butt hole violation would be the last of his worries in that unit.
 
His corpse will be found in the desert after overdosing on fentanyl and beating the shit out of whatever whore was desperate enough to sleep with whatever the fuck that is. I don't know what it is but it's not a person. Some women will fuck anything. What's your excuse?
 
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