- Joined
- May 18, 2014
I think they're trying (poorly) to copy the Guardians Of The Galaxy movies while not understanding what made those movies good.
Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off
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I think they're trying (poorly) to copy the Guardians Of The Galaxy movies while not understanding what made those movies good.
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2016
I can't wait until this is actually released so the "WTF Snoke" shit can really hit the fan. It's already been happening in the places where leaks are discussed.
These people forget that the only folks who knew so much as Palpatine's name for 20 years were those who had read the original Episode IV novelization, where it's mentioned in the intro (and, because ESB wasn't a thing yet, he was mentioned as an ineffectual puppet ruler with people like Tarkin being the actual power in the Empire). Besides saying smug and/or vaguely cryptic shit and shooting lightning in his last minute, the Emperor was only a badass because someone as scary as Vader (Mister Force Choke Is A Valid Human Resources Tool) kneeled to him and said things like "The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am". Even with three additional movies to flesh him out, we essentially only find out that he's a senator from Naboo who likes opera. And yet much of the fandom considers him one of the few decent things in the prequel trilogy. But the idea that Snoke just happens to be a force-sensitive Sithaboo who showed up at the right place and time to put the Imperial remnant back together and whose background isn't terribly important? Oh no, we can't have that. Of course, Disney being Disney, this also could just be an excuse to make some sequel-prequel between VI and VII to explain it anyway.
Going through the plot points of this film, it seems to be indulging a lot of archetype/prototype subversion, a pile of "what if". What if Vader helped Luke in the throne room on Death Star II? What if Anakin was less of a possessive jerk and asked Padme to come with him instead of demanding and then choking her out? Playing with archetypes can be fun and can even be subconsciously addicting to indulge in (this is why when you read anything from David Eddings, you feel deja vu; he actively abused the shit out of this and straight up called it "literary crack" in his commentary), but less so when people are in on the game. It's not 1979 nor is it 1999 anymore; now we have full-on internet autism reactors that generate crazy theories about everything and feel blue balls when you don't match up to their expectations.
These people forget that the only folks who knew so much as Palpatine's name for 20 years were those who had read the original Episode IV novelization, where it's mentioned in the intro (and, because ESB wasn't a thing yet, he was mentioned as an ineffectual puppet ruler with people like Tarkin being the actual power in the Empire). Besides saying smug and/or vaguely cryptic shit and shooting lightning in his last minute, the Emperor was only a badass because someone as scary as Vader (Mister Force Choke Is A Valid Human Resources Tool) kneeled to him and said things like "The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am". Even with three additional movies to flesh him out, we essentially only find out that he's a senator from Naboo who likes opera. And yet much of the fandom considers him one of the few decent things in the prequel trilogy. But the idea that Snoke just happens to be a force-sensitive Sithaboo who showed up at the right place and time to put the Imperial remnant back together and whose background isn't terribly important? Oh no, we can't have that. Of course, Disney being Disney, this also could just be an excuse to make some sequel-prequel between VI and VII to explain it anyway.
Going through the plot points of this film, it seems to be indulging a lot of archetype/prototype subversion, a pile of "what if". What if Vader helped Luke in the throne room on Death Star II? What if Anakin was less of a possessive jerk and asked Padme to come with him instead of demanding and then choking her out? Playing with archetypes can be fun and can even be subconsciously addicting to indulge in (this is why when you read anything from David Eddings, you feel deja vu; he actively abused the shit out of this and straight up called it "literary crack" in his commentary), but less so when people are in on the game. It's not 1979 nor is it 1999 anymore; now we have full-on internet autism reactors that generate crazy theories about everything and feel blue balls when you don't match up to their expectations.
If, you know, this weren't a Disney production and thus totally woke and socially conscious, I would say he's a fusion between Muh Diversity (NOW ENJOY FINN 2.0 WITH HIS NEW ASIAN GIRLFRIEND, HERE TO PLEASE THE CHINA MARKET) and a rendition of the old racist minstrel show acts of last century. But of course that can't possibly be it, can it? /sneed
- Joined
- May 25, 2015
During the Jedi training scenes on achto about 30 minutes in:
Luke: "so I see you've made some new friends Rey"
It shows Rey with a couple porgs and a goofy smile.
Rey: I felt them call to me through the force
Luke: it's true. The porgs are pure beings of the force, that's why I came to this place. The porgs tender meat holds the key to a power only Jedi masters can harness.
He grabs a porg from Rey and bites it's neck, blood sprays into his mouth and he gets a wild look in his eyes.
Luke: yes, the power! I can feel the force growing inside me, and inside my pants the force is growing!
The bulge is massive and throbbing. Rey wastes no time derobing, showing Luke the wetness dripping down her legs and mixing on the floor of the hut with porg blood.
Rey: now show me the power of a Jedi master, as we partake in the ancient ritual of the porg blood orgy!
Luke: hey r2, help me out with this sluts loose poon, will ya?
R2d2: beep boop (a flap opens up and a pulsating dildo emerges from r2.
A familiar voice emerges from the force, it's han "great job kid now let's blow this thing and go home"
Luke: aaaaaaahhhhh the pleasure! I'm blasting your inner wet walls with my jaws juice!
Rey: thank you, my master. The ritual is complete. Now I am the Almighty Mary sue! All white males must commit suicide in my honor!
Luke: as you wish, my vaginal god
Luke ignites his green saber and slices off his dick and balls and then stabs himself in the chest.
Luke: "so I see you've made some new friends Rey"
It shows Rey with a couple porgs and a goofy smile.
Rey: I felt them call to me through the force
Luke: it's true. The porgs are pure beings of the force, that's why I came to this place. The porgs tender meat holds the key to a power only Jedi masters can harness.
He grabs a porg from Rey and bites it's neck, blood sprays into his mouth and he gets a wild look in his eyes.
Luke: yes, the power! I can feel the force growing inside me, and inside my pants the force is growing!
The bulge is massive and throbbing. Rey wastes no time derobing, showing Luke the wetness dripping down her legs and mixing on the floor of the hut with porg blood.
Rey: now show me the power of a Jedi master, as we partake in the ancient ritual of the porg blood orgy!
Luke: hey r2, help me out with this sluts loose poon, will ya?
R2d2: beep boop (a flap opens up and a pulsating dildo emerges from r2.
A familiar voice emerges from the force, it's han "great job kid now let's blow this thing and go home"
Luke: aaaaaaahhhhh the pleasure! I'm blasting your inner wet walls with my jaws juice!
Rey: thank you, my master. The ritual is complete. Now I am the Almighty Mary sue! All white males must commit suicide in my honor!
Luke: as you wish, my vaginal god
Luke ignites his green saber and slices off his dick and balls and then stabs himself in the chest.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2013
https://venturebeat.com/2017/12/13/...a-new-candidate-for-best-star-wars-film-ever/
tl,dr: “This is the best Star Wars movie because we get rid of anything and everything that resembles old Star Wars and lets Disney do whatever they want to do with it because everything old is gone and there are no longer any connections to the original trilogy at all!”
I’m not even that invested in Star Wars and everything said here seems like a massive slap in the face to fans.
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2014
I guess it will be worth a torrent but not more.
Spellskite
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2015
I'm so sick of ITS THE BEST STAR WARS MOVIE SINCE EMPIRE with every goddamn release.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2016
This goes out to all those who cheered on Disney buying the franchise from Lucas and announced a sequel trilogy that rendered anything that came out after ROTJ as non-canon. This goes out to the ones who thought the prequels ruined what made the franchise special.
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2016
Now I'm really believing at least with Star Wars Disney is paying the critics...
Spellskite
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2015
https://streamable.com/7um89
I wonder how mad people will get about Rey reduced to lusting after shirtless Kylo.
I'm just baffled, it seems like this movie is going to piss everyone off. Original SW fans will be upset about their favorite characters getting killed off and having their characterizations dragged through the mud. Fans who got into TFA will be disappointed by dropped plotlines like the Knights of Ren and Snoke being a jobber.
The only people who seem to eat this shit up are journalists and people who aren't too into SW at all.
AND THIS IS ONLY THE THIRD MOVIE. WE HAVE AN ETERNITY OF SW MOVIES AHEAD AND THEY'RE ALREADY FALLING APART.
I wonder how mad people will get about Rey reduced to lusting after shirtless Kylo.
I'm just baffled, it seems like this movie is going to piss everyone off. Original SW fans will be upset about their favorite characters getting killed off and having their characterizations dragged through the mud. Fans who got into TFA will be disappointed by dropped plotlines like the Knights of Ren and Snoke being a jobber.
The only people who seem to eat this shit up are journalists and people who aren't too into SW at all.
AND THIS IS ONLY THE THIRD MOVIE. WE HAVE AN ETERNITY OF SW MOVIES AHEAD AND THEY'RE ALREADY FALLING APART.
- Joined
- May 25, 2015
REMEMBER STAR WARS?
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2016
It's not falling apart, this movie will make 2 billion dollars at the box office as well as anything that come out in the future.
People eat shit.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2013
I should really go and watch Lyle McDouchbag’s Spoilers Ahead of Force Awakens again...
Spellskite
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2015
Its going to make less than TFA. Probably more than Rogue One, but they're never ever going to top TFA numbers.
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2017
Star Wars fans deserve to be slapped in the face with the mouse dick of hate.
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2013
There was a fake leak that had Poe as a turncoat, Rey and Snoke as halves of the 'Prime Jedi', and a few tidbits. That'd have been pretty interesting.
That's gonna happen to the sequels hard.
I think what a lot of people forget about the prequel trilogy is that they were pretty widely-liked in the popular opinion of the day. Sure, there was always complaints and scorn from hardcore fans, but Joe Normalfag generally liked it. It wasn't until '09/'10-ish that popular opinion turned against them.
That's gonna happen to the sequels hard.
Sure they would, if they dropped this retarded idea of yearly SW movies. That won't ever happen though; I'm pretty sure Disney bought SW entirely because of the looming superhero bubble burst.
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- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
I know the Pastebin link was of nothing but the dialogue and it only occasionally named the character that was speaking, but while this might just be because I'm not a Star Wars fan and only see the films as cinematic marvels in terms of visuals and a boisterous orchestral score, I swear that outside of Yoda (given his speech mannerisms), I could feel no personality, no distinctive characters that stuck out to me. Like I literally need a visual to see who was speaking, it was just a jumbled mess and everyone were just duplicates of each other.
I don't think my thoughts would even change a bit if I had read the official script, but who cares just as long as the actors and the movie look pretty, right?
EDIT: Anyway, have yourselves a parody.
I don't think my thoughts would even change a bit if I had read the official script, but who cares just as long as the actors and the movie look pretty, right?
EDIT: Anyway, have yourselves a parody.
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- Joined
- Dec 3, 2013
I’m just gonna watch this instead.
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2017
Is he supposed to looks like he's having a Vietnam flashback?
