Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

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Luke dies fighting Ren through a "force projection", Ren kills Snoke, Phasma dies, Leia doesn't die but she gets replaced role--wise by Laura Dern's character, Yoda's ghost appears for a scene, the movie doesn't really address who Rey's parents are
 
https://pastebin.com/dRvyu1dE

Subtitle leak, enjoy

Some of my favorite parts:
Luke is killed in an astral projected form while fighting Kylo and this makes him die or dissolve like Obi Wan
Kylo kills Snoke - Snoke is some rich nobody given a 2 second explanation
Rey has drunk junker parents who sold her for quick cash, that's her origin
Kylo wants to bang her bad and tumblr is going to flip out at Rey having feelings for a guy who mindraped her
rehashed buzz baton fight between Finn and Phasma, who is once again a joke of a character
No Knights of Ren at all, not even mentioned
Leia uses the force to save herself from being sucked into space

Oh and we get quips. Tons and tons of quips. Luke quipping with Yoda, Poe prank calling General Hux and quipping for a good 30 seconds, Rey and Luke saying MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU at the same time and hilariously interrupting each other - Its just like my favorite Marvel movies!

Sounds like a total trainwreck that makes the last movie completely pointless by ignoring all the dangling plot threads left unexplained.
 
Ruin said:
Sounds like utter shit. I can't believe I'm saying this but bring Lucas back.
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Captain Pipsqueak said:
So now I don't feel any sort of reason not to pirate it.
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What are you talking about, this is poetry:

Luke:I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry.

Kylo: I'm sure you are! The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi.

Luke: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.
 
And I'm the person who gives Force Awakens the benefit of the doubt since I always imagined it started with a clean slate to bring in new fans and get rid of the bad taste of the prequels...

But man all of that sounds so underwhelming. Even a cliched thing like Rey being Luke's would've been better than nothing.
 
friedshrimp said:
But man all of that sounds so underwhelming. Even a cliched thing like Rey being Luke's would've been better than nothing.
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Its almost as if it was a really bad idea to not plan a trilogy out ahead of time instead of jumping from director to director for these movies.
 
Yeaaaah I'm not going to bother with this film.

It's pretty obvious Luke was going to die, and not because Mark Hamill hates playing the character, but that was the best they could do with his death? Seriously? Qui-Gon Jinn had a more dignified death.

One of my biggest wishes was for Rey to die so Finn could be the main character as he's a much more interesting character, and the Tumblrinas screeching over her death would've been amazing. But nerp, she's obviously more pandering towards them with her being a speshul snowflake.

At least Finn getting a hetero love interest should still bring on much salt.
 
Spellskite said:
https://pastebin.com/dRvyu1dE

Subtitle leak, enjoy

Some of my favorite parts:
Luke is killed in an astral projected form while fighting Kylo and this makes him die or dissolve like Obi Wan
Kylo kills Snoke - Snoke is some rich nobody given a 2 second explanation
Rey has drunk junker parents who sold her for quick cash, that's her origin
Kylo wants to bang her bad and tumblr is going to flip out at Rey having feelings for a guy who mindraped her
rehashed buzz baton fight between Finn and Phasma, who is once again a joke of a character
No Knights of Ren at all, not even mentioned
Leia uses the force to save herself from being sucked into space

Oh and we get quips. Tons and tons of quips. Luke quipping with Yoda, Poe prank calling General Hux and quipping for a good 30 seconds, Rey and Luke saying MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU at the same time and hilariously interrupting each other - Its just like my favorite Marvel movies!

Sounds like a total trainwreck that makes the last movie completely pointless by ignoring all the dangling plot threads left unexplained.
Click to expand...
I skimmed spoilers earlier that sounded decent but christ, I didn't think it was this bad. That's disappointing. *sigh*
 
Spellskite said:
https://pastebin.com/dRvyu1dE

Subtitle leak, enjoy

Some of my favorite parts:
Luke is killed in an astral projected form while fighting Kylo and this makes him die or dissolve like Obi Wan
Kylo kills Snoke - Snoke is some rich nobody given a 2 second explanation
Rey has drunk junker parents who sold her for quick cash, that's her origin
Kylo wants to bang her bad and tumblr is going to flip out at Rey having feelings for a guy who mindraped her
rehashed buzz baton fight between Finn and Phasma, who is once again a joke of a character
No Knights of Ren at all, not even mentioned
Leia uses the force to save herself from being sucked into space

Oh and we get quips. Tons and tons of quips. Luke quipping with Yoda, Poe prank calling General Hux and quipping for a good 30 seconds, Rey and Luke saying MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU at the same time and hilariously interrupting each other - Its just like my favorite Marvel movies!

Sounds like a total trainwreck that makes the last movie completely pointless by ignoring all the dangling plot threads left unexplained.
Click to expand...
Would it have been better if Phasma had died in that garbage compactor during Episode 7 instead?
 
The movie sucks but it is going to have like 101% on Rotten Tomatoes and 9.2 on IMDB.

Call me a conspirationist lunatic and DC fanboy (I hate DC movies btw), but the reason everyone knows: it's Disney.
 
I REALLY really would have preferred "Rey is Luke's daughter or Obi-Wan's descendant" like people were thinking instead of her being the daughter of some space white trash because that at least would explain why she's OP.

Luke dying fighting Kylo Ren of all people is incredibly retarded though. Newsflash: nobody thinks Kylo Ren is particularly powerful if Rey beat him in TFA, the first time she used a lightsaber at that. So it just cements that she doesn't need to be Luke's student if she's apparently so much better than him already.

I guess there's going to be lots of shipping salt though. Thanks, Tumblr.

Definitely going to see The Disaster Artist instead of this movie over break.
 
IdaRita said:
I heard that Poe x Finn was confirmed of something because "fans wanted it to happened", I hope this is false. (:_(
Click to expand...

There's more hints of Finn having a love interest in Rose (whoever the fuck she is). Bromance isn't a concept Tumblrinas can comprehend.

It's pretty hilarious that Reylo's more likely to become a thing than Stormpilot.
 
RIP Mark Hamill

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