Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

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A bunch of rednecks in space is actually the best summarization of Enterprise that I've heard.
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You might be a redneck if...
  • your major repairs all involve bodily waste
  • you have a tendency to urinate at inappropriate times on all sorts of highly-inappropriate things
  • your engineer is a college dropout whose only experience is working on boats
  • you put the welfare of your dog above stranding the crew 100 light-years from Earth (beating out Janeway's 70)
  • you insist to everyone that you saw a scantily-clad woman in a forest - in reality, a giant telepathic slug
  • you tend to side with Shran, despite him repeatedly beating the living shit out of you, because you hate Vulcans even more
 
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Trip is cool. He’s got a homey vibe that works well with the tone of the show.
 
There's an old saying on Romulus...I know it's in Cardassia Prime, probably on Romulus...that says, fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...Load the torpedo, make it rain on you.
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I don’t know why this is a thread modern Trek is extremely comfy and has excellent takes.
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Hoshi is hot in the mirror universe two parter though.

Still, Enterprise really was unfortunate that it only found its feet after it had shit the bed and face planked on the ground.
 
I saw Galaxy Quest for the first time recently. What do you nerds think of it?

It's fast paced and the jokes are very 90s, but not in a memorable way. Unlike DS9's Ferengi episodes the humor didn't age well. Parodying Trek is old hat. It needs a twist to make it interesting, which for Galaxy Quest was the behind-the-scenes aspect.

After two hours the characters had more to them than the crew of the NX-01 did after five seasons:
The alien dude had the most going on, being Spock/Worf/Patrick Stewart with a dash of Shatner.* He also reminded me of Odo but I don't think that was intentional.
Tim Allen plays Shatner in full but if he wasn't a douche. He has a rivalry with the alien dude like Shatner did with Nimoy.
The black guy is black Wesley plus the various child actors, it would've been funny if he was a drug addict and everyone hated him.
They dropped the ball with Adrian Monk as the engineer. He was shy and nervous - that's it. Why not give him a foreign accent (Australian maybe) as a Scotty/O'Brien/Chekov reference?
I like the inclusion of a guy who played a crewman once, and doesn't die but gets promoted.
I have one thing to say about Sigourney Weaver's part but that leads into the next paragraph.

The references are thin and oddly inauthentic. There are three not-suface level ones: they drink Romulan ale in the mess hall, the corridors have those containment bulkheads, and the Protector has an impractical separation feature.
The rest are weird. Weaver says her character existed "to repeat what the computer said." That's not what bridge bunnies did.
There's a part with an Indiana Jones-style booby trapped corridor with mallets and giant gears. Did they even watch TNG? Force fields flashing on and off would've worked better.
Tim Allen says the Protector's studio model was three inches. Nigga those things were three feet or more.

I always liked the look of the Protector even though it's supposed to be comical. White spaceships look cool.
So as a parody and a tribute it needed work - as a popcorn flick to watch with family or friends it's good.

*These slashes are just for expedience get your mind out of the gutter AKA fanfiction
 
I saw Galaxy Quest for the first time recently. What do you nerds think of it?

It's fast paced and the jokes are very 90s, but not in a memorable way. Unlike DS9's Ferengi episodes the humor didn't age well. Parodying Trek is old hat. It needs a twist to make it interesting, which for Galaxy Quest was the behind-the-scenes aspect.

After two hours the characters had more to them than the crew of the NX-01 did after five seasons:
The alien dude had the most going on, being Spock/Worf/Patrick Stewart with a dash of Shatner.* He also reminded me of Odo but I don't think that was intentional.
Tim Allen plays Shatner in full but if he wasn't a douche. He has a rivalry with the alien dude like Shatner did with Nimoy.
The black guy is black Wesley plus the various child actors, it would've been funny if he was a drug addict and everyone hated him.
They dropped the ball with Adrian Monk as the engineer. He was shy and nervous - that's it. Why not give him a foreign accent (Australian maybe) as a Scotty/O'Brien/Chekov reference?
I like the inclusion of a guy who played a crewman once, and doesn't die but gets promoted.
I have one thing to say about Sigourney Weaver's part but that leads into the next paragraph.

The references are thin and oddly inauthentic. There are three not-suface level ones: they drink Romulan ale in the mess hall, the corridors have those containment bulkheads, and the Protector has an impractical separation feature.
The rest are weird. Weaver says her character existed "to repeat what the computer said." That's not what bridge bunnies did.
There's a part with an Indiana Jones-style booby trapped corridor with mallets and giant gears. Did they even watch TNG? Force fields flashing on and off would've worked better.
Tim Allen says the Protector's studio model was three inches. Nigga those things were three feet or more.

I always liked the look of the Protector even though it's supposed to be comical. White spaceships look cool.
So as a parody and a tribute it needed work - as a popcorn flick to watch with family or friends it's good.

*These slashes are just for expedience get your mind out of the gutter AKA fanfiction
You're watching it for the first time two decades too late and your opinion shows it.
 
I saw Galaxy Quest for the first time recently. What do you nerds think of it?
Mediocre concept elevated by a great cast that delivers. They managed to get Justin Long in the role he was born to play.
After two hours the characters had more to them than the crew of the NX-01 did after five seasons:
The alien dude had the most going on, being Spock/Worf/Patrick Stewart with a dash of Shatner.* He also reminded me of Odo but I don't think that was intentional.
Tim Allen plays Shatner in full but if he wasn't a douche. He has a rivalry with the alien dude like Shatner did with Nimoy.
The black guy is black Wesley plus the various child actors, it would've been funny if he was a drug addict and everyone hated him.
"Former child star as burned out drug addict" is true to life, but probably a fair bit darker than they wanted to go with the movie. Notice that they gave the drug addict role to Tony Shalhoub (it's subtle, admittedly.)
There's a part with an Indiana Jones-style booby trapped corridor with mallets and giant gears. Did they even watch TNG? Force fields flashing on and off would've worked better.
Tim Allen says the Protector's studio model was three inches. Nigga those things were three feet or more.
Its broad strokes parody, not an exact 1:1. The crushers were a joke on how all these futuristic shops are always chock full of ridiculous safety hazards (holodecks anyone?) for the purpose of generating drama.
I always liked the look of the Protector even though it's supposed to be comical. White spaceships look cool.
So as a parody and a tribute it needed work - as a popcorn flick to watch with family or friends it's good.
I think it works well on both fronts.
 
Mediocre concept elevated by a great cast that delivers. They managed to get Justin Long in the role he was born to play.
It was orignally a Star Trek fanfiction about the cast of TOS getting swapped with their characters. So you had Shatner and his girdle try to command the Enterprise. It was meant to just be a jokey one shot printed in a couple magazines. But somebody liked it so it spent a decade in development as a stand alone film that eventually became Galaxy Quest.
 
Have the current people in charge of the franchise got something against video games ?

I know there's freemium shit for phones , but nothing like some of the gems of the past : Crossroads of Time , Elite Force , Legacy , The Fallen etc etc
I don't know how they managed it but two seperate publishers (Interplay with TOS, Activision with TNG) just had a streak of excellence in the 90's, I still go back to Starfleet Command when I can be arsed to go on the vision quest to get the game running (the GOG version is worse btw) I still think it's cool how they intergrated Star Fleet Battles lore even though that's not technically Star Trek and is under a separate license. And it's weird to see how Starfleet Command was inspired by Star Fleet Battles, and Starfleet Command then went on to inspire Star Trek Online. So there's a hair of SFB DNA in my shitty f2p gacha game.

Anyone else have fond memories of RPG-X for Elite Force 1 and 2, I used to enjoy just wandering around the different ship maps. Having a specific job to do. And the ships were all suprisingly detailed. The closest thing to giving me that feel again is still in development and looks cool.


Just give me the complete Starfleet experience. I wanna be an engineer crawling through Jeffries Tubes to fix shit. Then go down to planets on away missions.

Combining the gameplay of Elite Force with Bridge Commander just seems like such a no-brainer to me. But we live in idiotic times and no one important knows what to do with the dumb sci fi thing only autistic nerds like.
 
I just wish they'd release Starfleet Command 4 or another fleet/ship to ship combat game based on Starfleet battles. I put countless hours just playing the skirmishes on the original Starfleet Command.
 
I just wish they'd release Starfleet Command 4 or another fleet/ship to ship combat game based on Starfleet battles. I put countless hours just playing the skirmishes on the original Starfleet Command.
I wish this but also dread it because I know it would be microtransactioned out the ass.
 
Star Trek: His Erection

I saw Galaxy Quest for the first time recently. What do you nerds think of it?

It's fast paced and the jokes are very 90s, but not in a memorable way. Unlike DS9's Ferengi episodes the humor didn't age well. Parodying Trek is old hat. It needs a twist to make it interesting, which for Galaxy Quest was the behind-the-scenes aspect.

After two hours the characters had more to them than the crew of the NX-01 did after five seasons:
The alien dude had the most going on, being Spock/Worf/Patrick Stewart with a dash of Shatner.* He also reminded me of Odo but I don't think that was intentional.
Tim Allen plays Shatner in full but if he wasn't a douche. He has a rivalry with the alien dude like Shatner did with Nimoy.
The black guy is black Wesley plus the various child actors, it would've been funny if he was a drug addict and everyone hated him.
They dropped the ball with Adrian Monk as the engineer. He was shy and nervous - that's it. Why not give him a foreign accent (Australian maybe) as a Scotty/O'Brien/Chekov reference?
I like the inclusion of a guy who played a crewman once, and doesn't die but gets promoted.
I have one thing to say about Sigourney Weaver's part but that leads into the next paragraph.

The references are thin and oddly inauthentic. There are three not-suface level ones: they drink Romulan ale in the mess hall, the corridors have those containment bulkheads, and the Protector has an impractical separation feature.
The rest are weird. Weaver says her character existed "to repeat what the computer said." That's not what bridge bunnies did.
There's a part with an Indiana Jones-style booby trapped corridor with mallets and giant gears. Did they even watch TNG? Force fields flashing on and off would've worked better.
Tim Allen says the Protector's studio model was three inches. Nigga those things were three feet or more.

I always liked the look of the Protector even though it's supposed to be comical. White spaceships look cool.
So as a parody and a tribute it needed work - as a popcorn flick to watch with family or friends it's good.

*These slashes are just for expedience get your mind out of the gutter AKA fanfiction
Alan Rickman/Alexander Dane was clearly channeling Sir Alec Guinness: A classically-trained stage actor who is bitter about his main claim to fame being a piece of mediocre sci-fi fluff.
 
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