Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Ilmseil said:
How many times has Bogan used the word "businesswoman" to describe herself at this point? It's gotta be at least 7-8 different posts.

"haha IM A BUSINESSWOMAN and I only deal with the major stakeholders generally"

"I'm a BUSINESSWOMAN part of the BUSINESS TEAM now so you guys have to deal with it"

"I'm a BUSINESSWOMAN who specializes in branding"

We get it, Bogan, but who are you trying to convince at this point?
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“I went to the stock market today. I did a business.”
 
Trip Chesterton III said:
Doesn't Lowtax claim that even in its hayday, he was paying out more for front page articles than they were making?
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I have to wonder how much money he dumped into that retarded Mega64 shit that only manbaby nintendo fetish cucks cared about.

The only thing that SA was ever really popular for and that people went to the front page for was photoshop fridays, which was really just an aggregate of the forums content.

There was a niche audience for the other similar pic dump type articles. If anyone ever read any of the writings besides the funny comments on pictures, I would be amazed.

Someone should tell lowtax that reddit exists and has dominance over the lists of funny pictures market before he blows his kids college funds on another desperate gamble to become relevant again.
 
Wanting to be a writer on Something Awful is an IQ test: you’d have to be dumb enough to assume you’d ever get paid, dumb enough to assume anyone wants to read your triple reverse irony or socjus screeds with the thinnest veneer of attempted comedy, and most importantly, be dumb enough to ever associate with Something Awful.
 
The front page was 90%+ recycled forums content.

Photoshop Friday was basically "look at the stuff people on the forums made" every week. Comedy Goldmine was "forum threads turned into articles" every few days. A fair amount of the video game stuff was "stuff from the video game forums/guilds". Weekend Web was 95% suggestions from forum users.

The only "real" non-forum article series I can think of is WTF, D&D - which was sporadically updated and hasn't been touched in 5 years.
 
Ilmseil said:
How many times has Bogan used the word "businesswoman" to describe herself at this point? It's gotta be at least 7-8 different posts.

"haha IM A BUSINESSWOMAN and I only deal with the major stakeholders generally"
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Sounds better than cumdumpster.
 
Today, Lowtax announces that he is looking to hire new writers.

Last week, The Daily Stormer lays off almost all of their writers.

Coincidence?
 
A Humble Ewok said:
All this talking of about being an "indie" site makes me wonder if he could sell of SA to the likes of VICE media or another online media holding company. It sounds ridiculous, but the SA name still has some web 1.0 cred attached to it, that may make it attractive to have for some companies.
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If (GRRR FREE SITE) shithole proto reddit Digg could do it I bet some moron is willing to pony up wokebux to put SA on life support. ...maybe.
The only issue with this is that at the time (2014) Digg was at least still relatively well known. SA is in waaay worse condition.

soy said:
I have to wonder how much money he dumped into that exceptional Mega64 shit that only manbaby nintendo fetish cucks cared about.
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and MEGA64 were too good for the forums. That speaks more than anything else about what grade a place SA is.

MEGA64 managed to at least improve in the intervening years while SA stagnated and continued to die. I'm not saying that their embarrasing public freak outs are funny but I will say that GameAlive and Flame War Theatre are at least worth watching.
 
Lol, Lowtax is barking up the wrong tree entirely by offering to pay 40 bucks an article. If he was any kind of visionary he'd offer front page space to anyone writing an anti-Lowtax article. Let anyone have a go as long as they pay you. Auction it off, run it for a week, or a month. I bet he'd pick up quite a bit at first. He'd at least get some eyeballs and actual engagement for that. He'd never do anything like that, though, he's way too emotionally fragile for anything like that. For all that he insists he's Captain WACKY ZANY, he sure does get his feelings easily hurt by things said online.
 
lowtax should buy a xenforo liscense make his own off site. fuck just do a discord he s that lazy and say if you want access to the super secret lowtax club you need to submit one article

So many kiwis would be writting shit just to get in to troll.
 
Leonard Helplessness said:
As I recall, FYAD did all the legwork when it came to browsing forums and screenshotting posts for that column.
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Yep. Docevil or whoever was doing it that would week post the forums that were being considered in a FYAD thread. Goons would go out and get screenshots and then they'd pick the best ones. Weekend Web was funny
 
Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
Yep. Docevil or whoever was doing it that would week post the forums that were being considered in a FYAD thread. Goons would go out and get screenshots and then they'd pick the best ones. Weekend Web was funny
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The only problem with resurrecting that series is that it will be harder to find a forum that is more "Weekend Web" than current day Something Awful
 
Silicon Wasteland said:
I don't fundamentally understand owning a "business" and not being able to pay $250 a week for content. You could scrounge up multiples of that begging in any small town near a streetlight. You could sell shit you find in dumpsters and make more than $250 a week. How the fuck is he this cheap?
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LT was always been penny wise and pound foolish. And stupid and stingy. He doesn't understand spending $X to improve the site will pay off in the future. He just sees it as “If I spend $X, I will no longer have $X. That's like three mail order pies.” That was the root cause of the SA merch debacle. He didn't want a third party, like Cafe Press, to handle everything because they would take too big a cut. But, of course, he was too lazy to ship orders himself in a timely manner. He also cheaped out on the packing materials, so a lot of the stuff that did ship got damaged or lost in transit. And predictably, when his customers complained, he banned them. So the venture quickly failed. This was when SA was at it's height, so could have made real money. But in trying to pinch pennies, Richard ended up with nothing.
 
Even if I was a troon SJW loser who wanted to write a "comedy" article about how Gamergate Trump Alt-Right Reeee for a has-been washed-up "comedy" website run by self-hating white male feminists with dubious sexual morals, Cracked pay a princely $50 an article, every article. And their website works, mostly.
 
Baggywrinkle said:
It’s got to be some act where they are trying to convince everyone they are really business partners and not fuck buddies for the sake of his divorce. Because all that corporate buzzword mishmash is dilbert level shit. probably using the podcast to justify her living with him too. Its weird and gross.
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Hello I'm Lowtax from the future

I'll tell you the same thing I tell my children: MY RELATIONSHIPS ARE NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! I "LIED" about Logan being only a business partner? What makes you think you're somehow ENTITLED to know the details of my personal life?! None of this affects the forums in any way, and everything I've ever done is FOR the forums, yet OBVIOUSLY I can't have a fucking life without you people crucifying me. So now I'm totally a lying liar who lies all the time!!

Yes, I'm a real goddamn monster according to all you crazed internet people who are obsessed with destroying my life. The forums revenue has been dropping non-stop for a decade now, the Patreon just dropped below $8000 (and most of that goes to taxes, don't ask me why), yet CLEARLY none of that matters to any of you. And why should it, you're just here to leech off me. I just can't win with you people no matter what I do. Idiots. Banned.
 
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Leonard Helplessness said:
It's pissing, shitting, tampons, and anything else that goes on in the bathroom, as well as huge quantities of faceless men suddenly appearing out of nowhere to rape the woman who's doing the pissing, shitting, and tampons. That's what I remember from the Something Awful review, anyway. The title screen was literally just a photo of a toilet. I think the game was voice acted, too.

I've actually heard of hentai games that are even worse. Look up Sweet Pool.
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I'll have you know Euphoria has a very deep and interesting story.
 
Manah said:
I'll have you know Euphoria has a very deep and interesting story.
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LMBO, the creator of Paraphore said this unironically.

I actually looked up the plot when he mentioned it and it's the dumbest thing ever. Danganronpa 2 dumb.
 
Holocaust Mansplainer said:
Can't tell if this is ironyposting or really Lowtax.
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I think it’s pieced together from things lowtax has actually said.
thats the irony of social media and most of these lolcows. They put the intimate details of their personal lives on public blast to build their brand and beg for money/likes/martyrdom, and then get outraged when anyone goes “hey wait a minute” with claims that it’s actually none of their business.
They can’t fathom just being anonymous and hate everyone else who makes that choice (unless they donate to Patreon).
 
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