- Joined
- Nov 4, 2017
The Goon, the Bad, and Ugly-but-still-better-looking-than-the-goon
Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield
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The Goon, the Bad, and Ugly-but-still-better-looking-than-the-goon
TheMonkeyMan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
That photo of GE Cafe earlier in the thread wasn't even the least flattering one.
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2017
It's pretty rare to see a Slaton forehead on a dude. Didn't he die?
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2019
Honestly, the guy looks like he'd live to 90 just out of sheer hate for anything, everything and spite towards whoever happens to be repulsed by the caricature of a human being he has become.
TheMonkeyMan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
I would not be surprised if GE Cafe was dead. I also wouldn't be surprised if he was now a she.
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2018
I just want to see the local news report when Care Crane has to demolish the front wall of his house in order for him to be MedEvac'd out.That photo of GE Cafe earlier in the thread wasn't even the least flattering one.
Leonard Helplessness
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2018
Let's see how they feel about a gay Asian man getting quick-drying cement thrown on him and his face getting fucked up to hell by a masked mob.
It keeps going. The one guy saying that this kind of violence is a Bad Thing got probated for a week.
It keeps going. The one guy saying that this kind of violence is a Bad Thing got probated for a week.
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2017
Goons are so fucking exceptional. If the same thing had happened to one of them they'd be screaming bloody murder and burning down the forest to get names. They'll be cheering this shit on right until the moment they realise that trust-fund kiddies and unemployed troons LARPing as revolutionaries are not the scariest forces in the universe against actual fucking fascists. The probation is almost so stupid it could be a joke.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2019
And the reaction is more or less the same in many other goon discords as well.
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2019
The word Nazi has lost all meaning to them. They could be watching Der Ubermensch goosestepping down the street and ignore it because some random person said “gay” 20 years ago.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
It's a running theme that Goons only have any sort of balls when they have complete anonymonity, and even then the height of their resistance is a couple of twitter hashtags.
They couldn't punch in to a job, let alone a fucking Nazi.
They couldn't punch in to a job, let alone a fucking Nazi.
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2016
He’s the one who posted about fucking himself in the shower and seeing pieces of his intestinal lining coming out.
Leonard Helplessness
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2018
Imagine hating life this much.
e: I mean seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?
e: I mean seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?
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- Joined
- Apr 10, 2016
As with 80% of all goons, the answer is, "Lose weight."
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2019
SA was the old grandpa of web culture when I first arrived in 2006 and that was 13 years ago.
I've read some articles over the years but never joined the forums because come on, paying money to register on a forum?
I've read some articles over the years but never joined the forums because come on, paying money to register on a forum?
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2016
Does he maintain the soul patch to distract from his manletism?
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2018
And stop going to those stupid forums. They're all crabs in a bucket holding each other down, making everyone else feel bad for having been born literally anywhere other than Africa.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2017
Barnacle Jim - Jim's Hole
“Frolf is Jim’s favorite sport because he’s a dumbass.”
 Barnacle Jim | |
|---|---|
| Name | barnacle jim, jim |
| Job | hole slave at the office |
| Likes | bikes, damaging his hole, frolf, his long ass face |
| Dislikes | not having his hole abused |
| Dick | his dick is very small and wet. it grows back smaller and wetter whenever it gets cut off which happens a lot at the frolf course. he has the highest known dick moisture levels |
| Butt | severely damaged hole. the butt is very hairy |
| "im gay" |
| -jim |
Jim in the 1940's
→During world war 2 jim abuse was cut down because of a dildo shortage. they needed the rubber for the military
→The citizens carved dildos out of alternative materials. There were big billboards encouraging house wives to chip in and help our boys overseas by fucking jim
→When the men came back from war there was a big parade for them that ended at jims house so they could fuck him
→A lot of weapons were tested on jims hole. they toyed with the idea of using his long face to transport cum to the gay soldiers
→They sometimes sent Jim to the front lines to boost morale but they were worried the axis would capture Jim and allow his hole to be healed
→There was a secret nazi misison to heal jims hole a little each night while he slept
→Hitler sympathized with Jim since he also had a fucked up hole and dick moisture
Jim in the 1950's
→Jim hangs out with a motorcycle gang called Hole's Angels
→Jim wants to be a greaser so they grease up his hole before working him over. they impress some girls by showing them jims small dick
→They go to a malt shop and the soda jerk starts jerking jim off and fucking him. A greaser and his girlfriend are drinking jims dick moisture with two straws
→There was a big dance at school - The Enchantment Under the Hole Dance
Jim in the 1960's
→Not much is known about Jim during this time period.
→The Beatles wrote some songs with titles that are nods to Jim. Those songs are Fixing A Hole and Long, Long, Long
→There was a big rumor that if you played Abbey Road backward you could hear Paul saying Jim is a Long Faced Dicklicker but that rumor is false.
Frolf
→Frolf is jim's favorite sport because he's a dumbass
→he hides in the bushes and waits until someone throws a frolf disc, then he runs out and jumps in front of it, trying to damage his dick
→his dick gets cut off at the frolf course a lot. it grows back smaller and wetter every time
→he litters the frolf course with his cut off dicks. the groundskeepers kick his ass for it
→once got horny at a frolf course but there were no bikes to suck off so he sucked off a golf cart
A typical Twitter post by Jim.
Present Day
→has a long face
→loves bikes and installed metal dicks on all his bikes so he can suck them off
→gets horny from abuse and humiliation
→his truds are valuable because his damaged hole creates rare truds. people by them and eat them
→keeps dried up turds in his glove compartment so he can suck them off when he's horny
→seizures
→one large ball
→works at an office where the only work they do is abuse him
→has a fucked up hole. does not respect his hole
→has a shitty truck where he gets handjobs and bjs
→all men like to fuck jim
→slanty
→gay
→piece of shit
→his posts are pieces of poop
→everybody pisses and cums on his face
→can only masturbate to snuff films of bikes being killed
→his sack is out of balance due to his single ball
→jims face is like the face in mario 2 that chases you when you grab a key except it's very long and goes directly for a bike to suck off
→his favorite bike to suck off also has a soul patch
→he has bike porn for the bikes and masturbates them off
→he gets hard when he chains his bike up (bondage) but his dick is so small nobody notices
→one day a week they make him wear a dress to work. he loves the humiliation
→his nickname around the office is The Long Faced Toilet and they put garbage in his mouth even though you aren't supposed to put garbage in the toilet
→his face is one of those urinals that extends all the way to the floor and somebody took a dump in it
→license plate is FUNTURD
→its legal to speed in your car if youre on the way to fuck jim, a cop is legally required to provide an escort in this case
→in boulder there are jim lanes like carpool lanes. you can use them if youre going to damage jims hole. most people keep a dildo in the passenger seat at all times so they can legally use the jim lanes
→many men who can't fuck jim in person print out his pic and jack off or piss on it
→he only hooks up with chicks in parking lots. he is ashamed of his apartment which is a giant hollowed out bike
→jim sticks his tongue out while cranking off
→loves drug tests at work. they make him do it in the middle of the office and everyone laughs at his small dick and they make him drink the piss
→his coworkers use his face as a toilet but sometimes will piss or crap on the floor then jim rolls around in it naked to clean it up
→he sucks dried up turds to practice
→wants to be a sponge for piss
→rolls around in trash trying to cut his dick on broken glass
→released his long face bike certificate
→little pecker havin bike fucker
→jim loves to get his ass kicked at work. he is annoying in the office so people hit him with baseball bats and piss on his stuff
→jim goes into biker bars and tells the guys about his bicycle. he does it so they beat the shit out of him and piss on him. it makes him cum that sick bitch
→he is such a dildo
→likes the pain of getting soap in his tiny dickhole
→is trying to figure out how to make bikes piss
→the sperm that created jim also had a long face and was actually visible to the human eye
→they did a photoshoot of jims dick at the office. they need something to laugh at when they are feeling down
→cranks off into an empty snapple bottle and whiffs it
→claims to have sucked off the guy who played the soup nazi and the guy the character was based on
→at the office they have a contest to see who can make a poop that looks the most like jim. everybody wins and sniffing the poop makes jim horny
→sits at home and injures his own dick with tools
→has posters up in his house of bikes with dicks on them
→once tried to tip a waitress with a very small bike
→stuffs a crap into a condom and sucks it off
→saran wrapped a toad and stuffed it into his broken horny hole
→has sex with bikes by getting his dick cut up in the gears. the pain gets him off.
→jim needs to jelq his dick but it's so pathetic and all burnt up
→shows his dick to men at the park. they usually laugh or kick his ass or both
→loves being taken to task for his small dick
→if he has to pee while driving he whips his tiny dick out and pees all over the steering wheel and dash
→has a plan in which he dresses up as corsair's wife and supposedly wants to be taught how to drive a stick shift
→buys illegal supplements to make his already tiny dick even smaller
→sucked a dick off craigslist. he hooked up in the for sale - bikes section
→loves to have his dick chewed on by rodents or wild dogs
→has a tramp stamp of 2 bikes and his long ass face
→does a trick at bars where he pulls a small metal bike out of his hole. it's bloody and covered in turds
→when he goes to the bar the bouncers work him over especially his tiny dick and he loves it
→brings dildos to the bar
→has a new garage door opener
→the ceo uses jim's dick as a tee and hits golf balls off of it
→dr dogballs: what about black or tarry stools? jim: no thanks i ate on the way over
→the guys at the office are not gay but they love to fuck him and damage his hole
→they show jim's photo on the jumbotron at sports games to get the fans angry at the opposing team
→jim shows up at sports games to try and get his hole worked over with a wooden bat
→they don't call it hump day at jims office. its hole day and all the boys destroy his hole with office supplies and wooden dildos
→his email address used to be HomoTurdSuckInCar@hotmail.com but they shut it down
→wanted the groundscrew to scold him like a dog when he sucked off the golf cart
→there are pictures of jim's tiny wet dick all over the office to remind everybody jim is a piece of shit
→damaged his hole with wood planks one morning. it left splinters
→his blown out hole looks like a huge gross prune and it leaves pus stains on his underwear but he loves it
→his hole cannot be repaired and that's how he likes it
→puts tortilla chips in his hole to damage it further. the sharp edges and salt make Picante Night very painful but it always makes him cum
→some guys at jim's office got laid off for going easy on jim's hole
→jim's mom knows about the hole and tried to have an intervention but then she saw the hole and had to damage it further
→jim is a total turd harvester at work
→got fired from his job at the zoo for putting worms in his hole and letting baby birds peck at them
→jim's boss at the zoo put a snake in jim's hole and pulled his pants down. then a bunch of kids laughed because their dicks are bigger than jims
→likes it when bikers throw darts at his empty scrotum
→new garage door opener
→the guys at work like to press the button on his garage door opener while they abuse jim's hole
→when the neighbors see jim's garage door going up and down that's how they know his hole is being ruined somewhere
→jim closes the garage door on his small dick
→got his dick tip frosted so the guys at the office could see it better and hit it with bats
→his hole is a real boondoggle
→uses a dog whistle to make local dogs chew up his small dick and hole
→they are going to use some pics of jim's hole in a PSA about hole abuse. they will also show a video of him sucking a bike off just to embarrass him
→jim celebrates cinco de mayo often. (slathers his hole in mayo and lets some latino thugs go to town on it)
→jim's hole looks like an uncooked meatball that someone pressed their finger into
→loves to look in the mirror at his hole to see how fucked up it is. it makes him horny for a garage door ball crushing session
→puts garage door opener parts in his hole
→dogs go wild when they smell jim's hole. they want to bite it and further damage it
→wishes he could get fucked by every character from Beauty and the Beast, especially the beast and that candle guy
→his small wet dick has so much moisture that it experiences the tides
→he is good at doing precision cartwheels at the frolf course with his dick out to get it cut off
→face is extremely long
→jim loves getting truds on his long face most visitors to the office shit on him
→jim's shits come out in weird shapes because his ruined hole can not form them into a log. they look like meteors. these are truds
→collectors pay good money for genuine jim truds
→there is a jim blimp, like the bang bus. the blimp comes to down and all the towns big dicked and strong men get on board to fuck jim and they broadcast it
→the cops busted up occupy wall street because not enough people were pissing and cumming on jim pics
→a dildo spectre is going to damage jims hole on holeoween
→there is a popular haunted house in jims town it shows pictures of his hole and his moisture levels
→there is a species of hole bug that is only known to exist in jims hole. they feed on his turds and drink the dick moisture
→this sunday on ppv the top holemen from around the world are going to work jim over. bigtime cummers are going to be shooting loads on his face as well
→jim saw an 18-wheeler with a banner that said OVERSIZED LOAD and it made him so horny that he flagged it down and sucked the truck off
→the driver used some dildos to work his hole. he was on his way to jims office to deliver a pallet of big dildos
→a group of scientists was working very hard to recreate jims dicks moisture levels. they couldnt get there, but they got close enough to do some math and have a reasonable approximation. they published their findings but when it came out that they didnt factor in the smallness of jims dick they lost their funding
→bigtime pecker checker at the urinals
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- Joined
- Jul 13, 2018
He looks like that guy that the Chinese guy ate on the grayhound bus.