I think the real decline of SA started with...
No. Something Awful has always been shit, and goons are the most aggressively unfunny people on the internet. A lot of you seem to think that SA becoming 'softer' or more 'social justicey' was what sucked the funny out, but you're outright wrong. All that did was help you forget that you were retarded teenagers when you liked SA, and that it was always garbage and stupid. When you take goons out of their natural habitat, let them shitpost and joke around unfettered by the constraints of SA morals policing, what happens to them? They make absolute idiots out of themselves trying to be funny, because they're cringey, worthless speds. Big swinging dicks like Honest Abe wander off the reservation and even with a dozen goons at their back they end up getting dunked to fucking pieces by a
literal thirteen-year-old on twitter.
Just have a look at this shit here.
Just gonna go ahead and bring some brutal honesty here guys, this may hurt but you need to hear it. Think of me as your cool older brother whose been off to collage and comes back home and is all world wise and now I'm sitting you down for a good talking to.
So, maybe I'm getting old, but I just don't get this doxxing stuff. It's like hearing a joke and not getting the punchline. It just all seems so...and here is the potentially hurtful part so buckle up.... Pathetic.
Don't get me wrong, I love me some making fun of weirdos, but I just don't see how knowing their address adds to the comedy.
Now over at the other website I'm known as a master parodyist, so here comes a little parody section th at might help you see my point of view:
"oh haw haw yeah we got em. We got em good this time! Haha you ready for this? Here is a picture! Of a person!! Haha total brutal ownage. And just wait it gets even better because we have his.... Address! Get this, he lives on 452 flower lane, Akron Ohio. AKRON! HAHA what a clown. Good grief we have pulled a master class troll on this one. "
OK so basically what I'm saying is that you guys are making a mistake. You think you're being funny, but you're not. I think it's time to change comedy styles maybe? Put those doxxes back on the shelf and maybe work on satire songs? Photos hops? I don't know where each of your talent lies but I know that you're all special in your own way.
So thanks for listening, big brother out!
Just look at this shit. This was (apparently) a well-respected funnyman from SA. This isn't just some random sped who got dredged up and landed here, this is a
name from SA. When he came over, all the goon trash here seemed to immediately know who he was and seemed to have a level of respect and admiration for his funnymanning ; and this is what he brings. Layer apon layer of affected ironic uncoolness so deep it makes my asshole clench with embarrassment for him. This is how goons 'be funny'. There is nothing funny about this, and he ended up getting genuinely mad on the internet when people told him what an unfunny embarrassing sped he was.
Goons tell jokes like insecure men hit on women. Ever see a guy trying to pick up a girl but he hedges every attempt so if she tells him she's not interested he has enough room to immediately back out and try to salvage their fragile ego by shouting out some insincere bullshit like "HA HA, WOW, I WAS ONLY ASKING WHAT UR HAVING FOR DINNER TONIGHT! I WASN'T ASKING YOU OUT LOL WOW LOOK WHO HAS AN EGO!". That's how fucking goons try to be funny. They wrap it all up in layer apon layer of ironic unfunniness because they're terrified people will glance at their funny and tell them "You're embarrassing and not at all funny". They give themselves the out of claiming "Ha I was just being ironically unfunny and you don't get it." But we get it. Everyone gets it. We see exactly what they're trying to do and it's fucking embarrassing as shit.
Goons are shit. Goons are shitty worthless people who all want desperately to be thought of as 'the funny guy' because a childhood raised on 1980's programming led them to believe being 'the funny guy' makes up for their physical unattractiveness, social awkwardness, lack of intelligence, unreliable work ethic and moral turpitude. They can always fall back on being 'the funny guy' and thanks to Something Awful, they think they've found a failproof formula for doing it. The goons from Something Sensitive are just as bad, if you swap out the ironic dorkily-trying-to-be-coolness with some ironic niggerdeath you can't even tell the fucking difference between them. They cribbed their game right out of the ShitRedditSays playbook, and just swapped out Dworkin for Hitler. They're still pathetic, obnoxiously unfunny garbage faggots trying as hard as they can to elicit a few forced chuckles, but still clinging desperately to the option of backing up and saying "h.hey but I'm not
really an unfunny spastic neo-nazi social justice warrior."
There is nothing on the internet lower and more pathetic than a goon. Some of you goons might think you've grown, adjusted, learned better. Some of you might even think you're not really goons anymore. But if you were ever a goon, you'll always be a goon. There's no coming back from that. That kind of stain wraps itself deep into the core of your very being like an all-consuming cancer, and one day a real rain will come and wash that cancer off the internet, and all the goons with it. People still know who you are,
what you are, what you will always be for the rest of your miserable, tainted lives. Don't think for a minute that nobody's been paying attention to where you came from. Don't ever think there aren't lists being kept.
There are always lists being kept.