Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Dahmer said:
Late, but I'm going to play a little armchair psychology with his older daughter. While co-sleeping causes a lot of dependency problems (usually ones that show up later in life), kids who co-sleep don't usually pick up such extreme anxiety from sleeping alone. At 9 years old, she's at the age where sleeping alone might be uncomfortable but she'd be cognizant enough to know the reasoning and accept it.

Her extreme anxiety issues (self mutilation with the finger chewing and the vomiting) reeks of PTSD. The fact she only does this when in her father's presence is something child psychologists would look for when determining a history of child sexual abuse. It's very likely she's been assaulted by Shmorky. It may have happened at an age that she either doesn't remember it, repressed it, or she's unable/afraid to articulate it. His steadfast refusal to admit that Shmorky may have been alone with his kids could also be denial on his own end. A lot of parents go into denial regarding sexual abuse done by family friends and family members.
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Ruin said:
Yea it's pretty obvious Uncle Shmorky bad touched her during Klurf time.
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proteus4994 said:
I like gossip as much as the next guy but starting things like "Lowtax's daughter has been molested because I'm gonna play pop psychiatrist and overanalyze a thing Lowtax said once" is pretty lame.

The whole point of lolcows is that they do enough stupid/funny shit on their own that you don't have to dig into the A-log psychoanalysis well to come up with more shit about them.
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Counter Opinion, I don't think Klurfy Uncle Smorky molested her. However, Kids have a fairly good creepdar, and I'm pretty sure "Daddy I don't like it when Uncle Shmorky puts me on his lap. His yarn wig is like dead worms" went unanswered for years, so I do agree that the extreme anxiety is from more than just co-sleeping.
 
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Ghostse said:
Counter Opinion, I don't think Klurfy Uncle Smorky molested her. However, Kids have a fairly good creepdar, and I'm pretty sure "Daddy I don't like it when Uncle Shmorky puts me on his lap. His yarn wig is like dead worms" went unanswered for years, so I do agree that the extreme anxiety is from more than just co-sleeping.
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If he didn't, it was only for lack of a decent opportunity
 
Ruin said:
Yfw you fail at random access humor worse than Chris Chan.
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It just goes to show you that in almost 20 years, LowT hasn't grown creatively. He hasn't grown as a writer, he hasn't grown as a comedian, he hasn't grown as a film maker, and he hasn't grown as a musician. And I guess why would he? No one was willing to give him any constructive criticism because of his tendency to melt down and mash the ban button over even the tiniest perceived slight, and everyone else was kissing his ass telling him how great he is just because they want to bbe a mod!

LowT would be the best off if SA died tomorrow, because starting all over at age 40 is difficult, but doable. What's he gonna do if the site just limps along for another decade and then dies when he's 50? Though I guess he's probably hoping he'll be dead by then.


smackpops said:
surely it has nothing to do with bad genes from low t and a insane overbearing crazy chink mom.
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Well, if LowT runs his household the same way he runs his business, it's easy to see why his kids are fucked up. I bet he punishes his kids severely for minor things, then he feels bad and lets them do things like stay up late on a school night and not do their homework and eat a bag of sugar for dinner. Kids need structure, but that's hard when you alternate between wacky cool fun dad and a booze n' pillz stupor. And I bet LowT talks shit about Chinkwife all the time in front of his kids, too.

And speaking of Chinkwife, she became a big born again Christian sometime during their marriage, and used to host bible studies in their home, which is part of the reason why LowT leased the office building. Because you know homilies about temperance, patience, kindness, forgiveness, humility, and charity would go over with LowT like a lead balloon. And I'm sure Chinkwife didn't want him around either. I can just see LowT stumbling into the kitchen wearing nothing but a ratty old Hawaiian shirt like a bath robe, and getting a second 6 pack outta the fridge, and ruining their discussion about the Gospel of John.

Anyways, those born again types are always a bit flaky even during the best of times, but you combine Asian tiger mom bullshit with some good ol' fashioned Midwestern bible thumping and you're gonna get some stressed out kids!
 
polonium said:
If he didn't, it was only for lack of a decent opportunity
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Well that goes without saying.

That or maybe knowledge that "beating to death the muppet-voiced diaperfur sad brains who touched his daughter" might be the only thing Dear Richard would actually successfully see through to completion.

:optimistic:
 
Ghostse said:
Well that goes without saying.

That or maybe knowledge that "beating to death the muppet-voiced diaperfur sad brains who touched his daughter" might be the only thing Dear Richard would actually successfully see through to completion.

:optimistic:
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In my mind's eye I can see Lowtax guzzling an entire box of wine and gaining Popeye powers before murderlizing the yarn-haired nonce.
 
northstar747 said:
why is shmorkys content still on the site?
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The actual answer is probably something like "Lowtax owns the rights to all of the content Shmorky produced by and for Something Awful" and thus Lowtax still has the legal right to profit off of it, however because this is Lowtax we're talking about here he's still just looking at this from a monetary standpoint and not an ethical one.

"Sure, this guy might have fingerbanged my elementary school-aged daughter, but there might be one person out there who wants to watch old episodes of Furious Famicom Faggot so I gotta keep them online!"
 
Super Collie said:
The actual answer is probably something like "Lowtax owns the rights to all of the content Shmorky produced by and for Something Awful" and thus Lowtax still has the legal right to profit off of it, however because this is Lowtax we're talking about here he's still just looking at this from a monetary standpoint and not an ethical one.

"Sure, this guy might have fingerbanged my elementary school-aged daughter, but there might be one person out there who wants to watch old episodes of Furious Famicom Faggot so I gotta keep them online!"
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And I think that a part of LowT actually misses Shmorky and the friend he used to be. When Frags left for greener pastures in New York, Shmork was his only IRL friend, which goes to show what a poor judge of character LowT is. You are the company you keep, and he knew Shmorky was a sick asshole for over a decade! And if he really needed an animator that badly he could've worked remotely. He didn't need a full time presence at SA HQ to make gay little flash videos and do commentary on bad video games.

I just really hope LowT didn't put his daughter's safety at risk just for a few bucks, and to spite five permabanned pants shitting trolls on IRC.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
And I think that a part of LowT actually misses Shmorky and the friend he used to be. When Frags left for greener pastures in New York, Shmork was his only IRL friend, which goes to show what a poor judge of character LowT is. You are the company you keep, and he knew Shmorky was a sick asshole for over a decade! And if he really needed an animator that badly he could've worked remotely. He didn't need a full time presence at SA HQ to make gay little flash videos and do commentary on bad video games.

I just really hope LowT didn't put his daughter's safety at risk just for a few bucks, and to spite five permabanned pants shitting trolls on IRC.
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Lowtax knows his kids are half-slope so their hymens are worth nothing
 
You guys are giving him too much credit. He's just too lazy to remove shmorky's stuff from the site.
 
He probably couldn’t do it even if he wanted to. SA's terrible coding is apparently like playing Jenga — remove one block and the whole thing comes crashing down.
 
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