Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Honestly, the popular kids deserved to get bullied instead of pampered like they do. There was this one time in middle school, I had a crush on this one popular redhead. I had my stepfather take me to the store one night and I got a love card, came up with some cheesy message, and wrote it. The next day, I had my friend take the card over to her. When lunch was over, she threw the card in my face.

I'd like to think it's the smug kids, without regard to popularity, that deserve to be taken down a notch -- namely the popular kids who think they can use their coolness as a get out of trouble card and those who think flying under the radar entitles them to get away with stuff if they can be sneaky and sly about it.

Although I previously shared it here, the second half of your post reminds me of sixth grade when a girl in the class gave me a Valentine's Day card where she wrote, "I hate your scuts," that resulted in a good laugh out of myself and a couple of classmates for her poor spelling instead of any sort of angry reaction.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The popular girls have no boundaries. A lot of them are just really possessive, annoying, and high maintenance. I remember a few would follow me around when I was trying to study for AP exams to try to keep me company, and I never really got a chance to talk to the girls I wanted to at parties because someone would appear to try to talk to me.

There was one girl who got her mansion trashed when she threw a house party, and that's one of the only examples of karma she's received in her life. Horrible person but she has a pretty face and rich parents.

Ramona (not her real name) was my first gf. I don't know how the shuddering fuck I managed that. She was popular and smart and rich had really nice big boobies.

How I, a STANDARD NERD, managed to score with her I have no idea. But she was also what animu fans would call tsundere and insisted on constantly fishing for compliments and presents. Like a cuntstruck teenager I kinda obliged her. It didn't work. Then the incident with John Frederick Englefield (see above) happened and it was ogre. No great loss, in retrospect, but I was young and dumb and full of come and deeply concerned about how I was ever going to get my ashes hauled now.

Took a hit of the copium and decided that since I was due to go to university that September and fit birds would be everywhere, I'll just stick to wanking.

One thing that Ramona said that really stuck with me was how she claimed that she was the only girl who would ever give me a chance. And even after it was all ogre she'd ping me on MSN Messenger ('member that?) about how she fancied some other bloke or was planning to fuck someone I hated.

I think that said more about her than about me.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

The popular girls have no boundaries. A lot of them are just really possessive, annoying, and high maintenance. I remember a few would follow me around when I was trying to study for AP exams to try to keep me company, and I never really got a chance to talk to the girls I wanted to at parties because someone would appear to try to talk to me.

There was one girl who got her mansion trashed when she threw a house party, and that's one of the only examples of karma she's received in her life. Horrible person but she has a pretty face and rich parents.

That is so true about them. I had a few times where popular girl or girls would follow me around and act like my friend. Ah fuck it, have another school story. This thread is fun talking in.

Back in Middle School, I think it was in grade 6, there were these three girls who ignored me for the most part. But then they suddenly started acting like they were friends with me. One of them being in fuckin' High School. Weird, I know. Anyways, I talked with these three for some time, and was really happy about it considering I never had friends growing up. Then out of nowhere, these girls would no longer talk to me when I said good morning to them on the bus. One morning I decided I wanted to figure out what the hell was going on, so I asked the one "why are you guys ignoring me so much?" and they wouldn't give me an exact answer. Instead they decided to act like I did something wrong, and treated me like shit all the way up until I moved due to my mother's second divorce.

More recently but not so recent, in my freshman year of high school, I had the same situation happen. 2 girls acted like they were my friend. But the funny thing is, one of them stayed my friend while the other decided to bail. Honestly popular girls are more confusing than a 100x100 Rubik's Cube.

I'd like to think it's the smug kids, without regard to popularity, that deserve to be taken down a notch -- namely the popular kids who think they can use their coolness as a get out of trouble card and those who think flying under the radar entitles them to get away with stuff if they can be sneaky and sly about it.

Although I previously shared it here, the second half of your post reminds me of sixth grade when a girl in the class gave me a Valentine's Day card where she wrote, "I hate your scuts," that resulted in a good laugh out of myself and a couple of classmates for her poor spelling instead of any sort of angry reaction.

This I can agree with too. Smug kids are the worst. Majority of the popular kids I've seen have been smug cunts, but like in my story, there are some good popular kids out there. So you're right, the only ones that deserve to be brought down are the assholes haha.

And I'm glad you could laugh that one off! I woulda laughed too and wrote her a card that said "And I hate your Cooshie"

 

[Ginger Piglet]

This I can agree with too. Smug kids are the worst. Majority of the popular kids I've seen have been smug cunts, but like in my story, there are some good popular kids out there. So you're right, the only ones that deserve to be brought down are the assholes haha.

I never really suffered from this, but it wasn't entirely unknown for the popular kids to invite the weird kids to a party, possibly with the promise of friendship, just to have a captive mass bullying audience. I had a university friend (who I wanted desperately to convert to lover or even just fuck buddy but never managed to) who was kinda doing the whole big tiddy goth gf before that was really a thing. Well. At age 17 she was invited to a party at the popular rich girl's home which was just an excuse to bully her about her then recent suicide attempt.

She told me how she had the last laugh though. As she fled, sobbing, into the bathroom, she noticed a large bottle of bubble bath and a plan formed. Having taken a lengthy cider piss into said toilet and crowned it with a couple of nice splattery turds into the bargain, she then tipped the entire bubble bath bottle into the cistern, and left without flushing, then snuck away, ostensibly in teary-eyed shame. Within a few minutes someone else visited the toilet, and noticed it was unflushed. They flushed it.

Mistake, as a torrent of pissy foam with a couple of floaters in it came cascading over the floor. She claimed the screams could be heard audibly in the street.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

I never really suffered from this, but it wasn't entirely unknown for the popular kids to invite the weird kids to a party, possibly with the promise of friendship, just to have a captive mass bullying audience. I had a university friend (who I wanted desperately to convert to lover or even just fuck buddy but never managed to) who was kinda doing the whole big tiddy goth gf before that was really a thing. Well. At age 17 she was invited to a party at the popular rich girl's home which was just an excuse to bully her about her then recent suicide attempt.

She told me how she had the last laugh though. As she fled, sobbing, into the bathroom, she noticed a large bottle of bubble bath and a plan formed. Having taken a lengthy cider piss into said toilet and crowned it with a couple of nice splattery turds into the bargain, she then tipped the entire bubble bath bottle into the cistern, and left without flushing, then snuck away, ostensibly in teary-eyed shame. Within a few minutes someone else visited the toilet, and noticed it was unflushed. They flushed it.

Mistake, as a torrent of pissy foam with a couple of floaters in it came cascading over the floor. She claimed the screams could be heard audibly in the street.

Dude that's fucking awesome. I never got the opportunity to fuck over a smug popular kid before but I wished I had.

 

[Professional Lurker]

Reading all this made me think of my absolute worst memory of middle school. For the thread's namesake, I decided to share it.

It was the last week of 7th grade, so our history teacher put out snacks and punch for her class. Now, I also had a crush on a 5-6/10 nerdy girl in gym class. In what is possibly the most autistic way to get a girl to notice you, I took an empty water bottle with me to fill with said punch to give to that girl. I'm next in line for the punch, so I take the jug and start pouring. It took a bit of struggling since the bottle's opening was so small, and because it's easy for me to feel embarrass, it makes me struggle even more. The "class clown" kid notices and spouts out loud "look at that kid", or something like that, clearly in reference of me.

The 20-year-old-looking, tall, gay kid in front of me says something like "it's okay dude, just ignore 'em." almost in that stereotypical gay voice. I also notice that either me or some other person spilled some of the punch on the counter. Of course because of the situation, I thought I did, which just made me feel so much worse. I ended up drinking the whole bottle before class even ended. And no, I didn't get the girl.

The whole thing was so horrifying and ridiculously absurd that, when I think about it now, I don't know if I wanna cringe or laugh.

 

[Big Nasty]

Carrot Top was always a shitty prop comic and that was even before he roided out and got super weird, like a muscle troon looking weirdo.

Carrot Top is an almost-were among entertainers. The only thing I remember him for is the movie Chairman of the Board.

 

[Shining Wit]

In Year 12 (age 16-17 for non-bongs), we were without a sixth form common area and had to find somewhere to occupy us until it was built, so we usually hung out on the sports field verges, where there was small wooded areas.
One day we found a wasps nest in a tree and devised a game. One guy would put his foot over the hole and we'd all run past, kick the tree where the nest was and run away. Obviously we got stung a fair bit but we found it in good humour.

A couple of days later, we all got called to the headteachers office, who also had the head of year 7 (11-12) with him. Turns out they had seen us doing it and decided to copy us, with obvious results. And that's how we spent our lunch break, apologising to those kids' parents for their children being retards

 

[NerdShamer]

In Year 12 (age 16-17 for non-bongs), we were without a sixth form common area and had to find somewhere to occupy us until it was built, so we usually hung out on the sports field verges, where there was small wooded areas.
One day we found a wasps nest in a tree and devised a game. One guy would put his foot over the hole and we'd all run past, kick the tree where the nest was and run away. Obviously we got stung a fair bit but we found it in good humour.

A couple of days later, we all got called to the headteachers office, who also had the head of year 7 (11-12) with him. Turns out they had seen us doing it and decided to copy us, with obvious results. And that's how we spent our lunch break, apologising to those kids' parents for their children being retards

Nice to see that even back then, that the Brits were managed by retards.

 

[Shining Wit]

Nice to see that even back then, that the Brits were managed by retards.

By that I mean the year 7 students had punted the wasps nest, not the teachers lol

 

[AnOminous]

One of my formative moments was when I bullied a teacher to tears. And this wasn't even revenge, it was just pure meanness out of nowhere. I felt absolutely horrible. I swore when I saw that happen that I would never bully anyone again unless I actually wanted to see them in tears.

I've stuck to that.

 

[palmtreesalad]

I remember when I was in middle school, some guy photoshopped a picture of one of our classmates holding up a gun during class. He was originally just raising his hand in the picture if that makes sense.

He posted it on Instagram and me and a few other classmates liked it. The guy who posted it got suspended and everyone who liked it got in huge trouble. Some people were also suspended for liking another picture where he called a girl a pig or something. Ironically, I was absent the day everyone got chewed out so I weaseled out of it. Even now, I found it over the top and borderline weird that our school was checking the pictures that we liked. I can see the concern though, considering we would see the dude talking to himself in the bathroom.

Even worse, that same guy is apparently TikTok famous now.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I knew the guy who spray painted a swastika on the part of the school underneath a little bridge nearby a river and it turned into a "news" story even though he painted it in the wrong direction. Incidentally he was Jewish.

He could just have been really interested in Buddhism.

in high school, a few friends and i had this whole in joke about a character we called "the negromancer". he was this cartoon pimp with a wizard hat we'd draw on shit all the time and pass it between ourselves. anyways, one day, we had a black substitute and one of my friends gets caught drawing a hyper-detailed negromancer, complete with massive red lips, saying "wuz poppin my niggity nogs".

Now that reminds me of the time when we were reading a book about the Civil Rights Movement in English. This one guy who was a bit of a joker was reading a bit of dialogue in the book which ended with one of the characters calling another character a nigger in a very thick Southern accent. At the exact moment when he dropped the N bomb very loudly, someone opened the door to use the toilet and this kid's impression of a Klansman who'd just stubbed his toe was heard all over the school, including the classroom the speds used.

And that's why we got banned from saying racial slurs. This made doing Of Mice and Men a lot more difficult because you had to explain, in detail, how Crooks was dehumanised without using the word that dehumanised him.

The Geordie Geography Teacher.

Or, how we slut-shamed a newly qualified educator into quitting the profession.

(Note for non-Britbongs: Geordies are people from the North East of England, specifically, the area round the city of Newcastle. It is also their accent, though they are quite parochial about it and there is reportedly a difference between Geordie, Mackem, Sand Dancer, Pitmatic, and Smoggie accents though to everyone else they all sound the same and all, frankly, need subtitles.)

Cathy Dodd (for that was almost her name) just qualified as a teacher and was employed in our all boys grammar school to teach geography. She had a thick Geordie accent to the point at which those of us in her classes would start deliberately using Geordie-isms like "why aye" and "canny" and "can I'z gan the netty miss" and "haddaway an' shite" to annoy her. Fairly standard teenage monstrosity, I think you'll agree.

Anyhow. At this school there was a young groundskeeper who had what can only be described as a weird voice and pubic-like head hair. He also assisted in coaching field hockey. Miss Dodd made the biggest mistake of her career.

She fucked him.

He then bragged about fucking "that Geordie geography teacher" to the school field hockey team. They then told everyone else about how Miss Dodd fucked the groundskeeper. The story got more excessive and intricate and lurid at each telling. Eventually the general Geordie accent mockery was replaced by asking her endlessly about whether they did it in his hut and whether it was true he shoved the handle of his rake up her minge and similar improbable things.

She quit at the end of the year and got a job as something totally different. The groundskeeper was fired for sexual harassment when it turned out how he leaked it. No idea what he went on to do after that.

I wasn't in any of her classes but a friend of mine who was told me that "I think we're going to hell for this."

I once had a Geordie French teacher who was completely computer illiterate and enjoyed using caps lock. That was interesting to say the least.

This reminds me of the time when we were learning about WWII in primary school and got banned from saying Hitler because it made everyone laugh. So everyone started slapping their thighs (Hit) and then saying "Lur" anytime they wanted to talk about him.

I remember when my friend was doing something about WWII in primary school and couldn't draw a swastika so the whole of the class gathered around a table and drew swastikas on a piece of paper to show him what they looked like. I dread to think what the teachers thought.

Oh, and we had a German TA and one girl thought sticking her arm up and going ”Heil Hitler” was the appropriate way to greet her.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Great story about annoying your special ed teacher to resigned exhaustion with your emotional issues caused by abuse dude. Guess the mystery is solved and we can thank your parents for creating such a broken narcissistic nightmare of a human being.

 

[Bayun Fulan]

In primary school, there was a child with mental retardation. Once he showed his cock in the classroom, and once he pooped in the classroom.

In junior high school, a short man with glasses was on a bus with the whole class. In order to solve the problem of not being able to go to the toilet, he took out a bottle and peed in it secretly.

In high school, there was a woman who secretly helped a man to roll his cock in class. I didn't see it with my own eyes. I heard it from others.

In addition, in junior high school, our school went to the army in the field for about a week of military training. During this period, a boy accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, where a girl was going to the toilet. I was deeply impressed by this, because all the boys were concentrated in one place, so that the girl could identify one by one.

 

[Dvcferef]

Something like that (but worse) happened to my sister in her freshman year of high school. A [negro] boy who sat behind her in class literally ran his bare dick across her back. My mom was furious when she found out, and raised hell with the teacher. They told her they basically couldn't do anything to punish the behavior because the boy was technically below the IQ threshold for mental retardation (he wasn't anywhere near profoundly retarded, though; he knew what he was doing).

Spoiler: maybe too politically incorrect for some even though it's true

He was one of like maybe 2 or 3 blacks in our whole school system, and if you know anything about demographics and IQ, technically like almost half of all American blacks fall below the IQ threshold for mental retardation since it's 80 and their average is just 85.

We used to have that at my elementary school too. I remember we got it every Friday but there were definitely periods where it just didn't show up for a long time. I remember one specific issue that had a lesson about E. coli and the cover had a photo of a girl holding one end of a peanut in her mouth with a camel holding the other end in its mouth.

A negro boy

 

[PaleTay]

That is so true about them. I had a few times where popular girl or girls would follow me around and act like my friend. Ah fuck it, have another school story. This thread is fun talking in.

Back in Middle School, I think it was in grade 6, there were these three girls who ignored me for the most part. But then they suddenly started acting like they were friends with me. One of them being in fuckin' High School. Weird, I know. Anyways, I talked with these three for some time, and was really happy about it considering I never had friends growing up. Then out of nowhere, these girls would no longer talk to me when I said good morning to them on the bus. One morning I decided I wanted to figure out what the hell was going on, so I asked the one "why are you guys ignoring me so much?" and they wouldn't give me an exact answer. Instead they decided to act like I did something wrong, and treated me like shit all the way up until I moved due to my mother's second divorce.

More recently but not so recent, in my freshman year of high school, I had the same situation happen. 2 girls acted like they were my friend. But the funny thing is, one of them stayed my friend while the other decided to bail. Honestly popular girls are more confusing than a 100x100 Rubik's Cube.



This I can agree with too. Smug kids are the worst. Majority of the popular kids I've seen have been smug cunts, but like in my story, there are some good popular kids out there. So you're right, the only ones that deserve to be brought down are the assholes haha.

And I'm glad you could laugh that one off! I woulda laughed too and wrote her a card that said "And I hate your Cooshie"

They're just really petty about pointless stuff, and some are just in general weird.

One I stood up for a bit because she was super depressed and almost got mean girled out of the school, and she was really weird about it. She started texting me a bunch and would just stand or sit behind me and talk to me when I was doing something (like a sports drill or beer pong) and would ditch her friends or not interact with the group at a party but only me. She was kind of a bitch before all that, so I asked her what was up and she got pissed and devoted herself to trying to ruin my reputation for months but people would tell me exactly what she was doing, I tried to deal with it nicely multiple times but eventually got sick of her drama and pushed her away hard. I don't think it was even an awkward girl who caught feelings.

 

[Frofo Baggis]

In secondary school (high school for you yanks), we always had a bunch of myths and rumours about something a teacher did, all of which conveniently happened before we got there so you'd be 99% sure they'd be bullshit. Such as Teacher A had an affair with Teacher B or the one about our old history teacher from Belfast being in the IRA and so on.

But one that stood out was the former PE teacher before we started 1st year (convenient) being a pedophile. I recall a 2nd year boy saying "he would drill holes on the other side of the girls changing rooms and look in" or "he would only make the girls play basketball while watching and make the boys stand on the sidelines" or my favourite "we once heard him wanking in the toilets".

And of course you'd put the truth of these claims on the same level as the schoolyard rumour about Marilyn Manson removing two ribs to give himself a blowjob. But sure enough "Pedo Jimmy" as they nicknamed him was arrested 3 years back for possession of child pornography. And the lesson here is sometimes there's no smoke without fire.

 

[CrazyRandomZyn]

In 7th grade while being bullied, an actual student teacher named Karen decided I suddenly had Aspergers Syndrome, sent a 40-page pamphlet showing stereotypical Aspie signs (like an Aspie obsessed with "Star Trek") sent me out of class for psychological exams such as "if I believed I was best friends with a celebrity and regularly contacted them".
I remember at one point yelling at Karen and she didn't give a rat's ass.
There was an IQ test, which the therapist at the time revealed, "I had the highest IQ they tested, just that I was lazy."
In Freshman year an obese bully wanted me under her thumb, and got angry at me for drawing a satirical drawing on Anorexia, demanded I draw her and an ugly Mexican girl and challenged me to draw only guys in Spring Break, which I quickly gave up on.

Somehow in Senior year I was in the list for Prom Queen, and I won. Hell a former male bully posted on his Facebook to vote for me.
I was also given an elite award
And I broke my left ankle during the graduation party, so I had to get new shoes that had to be white.

 

[M3xus]

We only had a couple odd events, but they did stick out.

High school had a front entrance and a much fancier (owing to being newer) back entrance. I usually met my friends by the front, but one January morning they were keeping us from the front and telling us to use the back. Naturally, we wanted to find out, but they herded us to the side and back entrances. Found out later in the day from my geometry teacher that somebody had spread severed chicken feet all around the front entrance for some kind of hoodoo curse.

We didn't think much about it until the spring, a week after an architect had come to give a presentation about his job. We came in to find the "new" side of the school had a crack running from one end of the building to the next. They tried to hold class as normal till a fire marshal came and ordered us all out for the day.

It came out later that when that side had been built in the 70s, the construction company had cheaped out on materials, and the crack was the shoddy work falling apart. The school didn't make a very big deal about it, iirc, because they planned on renovating it, but it still lead to inquiries and the like.

Of course, the remaining years at school were characterized by semi-monthly gas leaks when the contractors screwed up something. Had to keep it spicy, after all!

The only other odd event I can think of was when we caught a substitute teacher masturbating in the boy's room. He never lived that down.