Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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Beardless Lenin said:
When I was in elementary, a new boy joined the grade below me, I'll call him Tom. Tom was tubby and had long greasy hair that would go down to his shoulders, and his head was slightly pear shaped. He had major ADHD, and you could feel that he was not all there in his head. He wasn't exactly a bad kid, a little whiny and annoying but not the worst.

Fast forward a couple years. Tom joined the same middle school as I did. It seemed like as the years went by, he was slowly losing his cognitive ability. He stopped bringing his school bag, and he would wear the same dirty clothes everyday. Tom wouldn't attend class, and he had no friends. He would just walk slowly around the school nonstop. It got even stranger when he stopped speaking all together, and he begun to bring a giant stuffed animal of a manta ray to school. He would just walk around, dragging this dirty manta ray with him, not speaking, with a one thousand yard stare. If anyone were to come up and speak to him, he would start swinging the manta ray towards them until they backed off, and he would continue walking without even saying a word. I even saw him walking around the town multiple times, the same way he did at school, alone and with that manta ray. I left that middle school that year and I never saw him again.

Ive thought about whether he was faking all this for attention. Although the fact that he would act like this even if no one was around him, and how he would walk around the school nonstop for hours brings this into doubt. Especially with his ADHD. He may have been annoying, but the fact that this is what he became is tragic. He came from very a broken home. I doubt whoever looked after him cared about how he was doing, otherwise they would have gotten him help.
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That's so sad. I wish a counselor or something would have tried to help him, get him into a smaller class where he got more one on one attention
 
For the majority of my high school years I was a mega weeb with very few friends and didn’t fully grow out of it until I was well into university, and I was blissfully unaware of identity politics until 2013 or so when it began to really emerge on Tumblr... and my school, students and faculty alike, got into it hardcore. We have a program here called Safe Schools which touts itself as anti-bullying, but is really just gender studies 101 for kids, my school was one of a handful throughout the country chosen to trial the program when it was new, and since I graduated a shit ton of people from my school have been parroting the currently trendy PC talking points, quite a few “non binaries” too. Though being in an area that’s basically Australia’s answer to ultra liberal US cities like Portland and San Francisco, it was kind of expected.

Also a kid several years below me died of a heart attack and there was an assembly held in his honour, it was a sad day for the whole school, I sort of knew his siblings as well and wonder how they’re getting on.
 
One of the guys in my circle in the band was ultra gullible. Like he fell for "look, someone wrote gullible on the ceiling!" several times. Great guy, but not the smartest man alive. Most of the interactions with him turned into improv sessions.
A notable one was the stapler test. Mr. Gullible was going to use the band directors stapler when the ringleader of our group stops him. "You can't use that, you haven't passed the stapler test".
Gullible, confused, asks what that is. "You've got to staple your arm before you can use the stapler. Like how cops have to get tased before being allowed to carry a taser". After everyone present affirms that they have passed the stapler test, he still won't bite (possibly jaded from being fucked with for three years), so Ringleader puts a staple in his arm like it was nothing. Gullible then buys it and spends the next minute or two working himself up to staple himself. He only manages to successfully get one tine in, which was declared not to count. I don't remember what happened next, but probably some variation of "fuck you guys".

Another with Gullible. I had long hair for all of high school, being a band nerd and whatnot. By the time this story came around I was kind of sick of the "why do you have long hair" question. I like it. Fuck you. You know, edgy, small town teenager shit.
Well, Gullible drops the question during band practice, and for some reason I decided the correct answer was "I don't have ears" kind of as a sarcastic fuck off. He doesn't believe me and asks the band director (who hadn't heard the exchange) if I had ears. The band director replied "No, he has slits, like Aquaman". The story eventually evolved into I was born without ears and was embarrassed by the prosthetic ears.

And that's why a solid portion of my old classmates think I do not have ears.
 
I threw a chair at a kid who was talking shit about a volleyball game in gym earlier that day. Got a 1 day suspension.

My freshman year of high school (06-07), we were put on lockdown for 3 hours because someone wrote "On Friday I'm gonna end my life and take as many as I can with me" on the shitter wall (was no real threat, just some edgelord trying to get us out of school for the day).
 
In elementary a girl died because her brother killed her and her mother. He claimed to be possessed.

7th grade drama a substitute teacher straight up just walked out on us. I'm not really sure why, because we were shitty but not that bad compared to usual, but it was pretty cool. She got in a lot of trouble and we wandered the halls in chaos like heathens.

8th grade science the class started making animal noises at a deathfat substitute during a silent reading period and made her cry because she couldn't make us stop. It started with one kid, and then another, and slowly it was a cacophony of monkeys, cows, elephants, etc.
She just broke down. I almost feel bad.

We had a kid get suspended for a "fuck list" because it made everyone super uncomfortable. He looked and acted like Cartman.
We had another kid make a kill list and he was gone for sooooo long after. He was a total tryhard fag with trenchcoats and shit. Ironically, he and the fuck list kid were friends and had gay rumors.

Two teachers were married and taught at the high school. One cheated on the other with another teacher and all the kids knew. They were regularly confronted in class by students.

Our woodshop teacher in middle school creeped on all of the girls.

I had some friends a few years younger than me. They lived in like white trash country bumpkin area just ouside the burbs. Somehow they got ahold of some guns and robbed the only fucking stores and restaurants in their town. WITHOUT MASKS.
Needless to say they were caught and did time. One for sure does meth and has kids he doesn't take care of. The other had a gauged prince albert if that says enough.
 
mrsm0rbid said:
In elementary a girl died because her brother killed her and her mother. He claimed to be possessed.

7th grade drama a substitute teacher straight up just walked out on us. I'm not really sure why, because we were shitty but not that bad compared to usual, but it was pretty cool. She got in a lot of trouble and we wandered the halls in chaos like heathens.

8th grade science the class started making animal noises at a deathfat substitute during a silent reading period and made her cry because she couldn't make us stop. It started with one kid, and then another, and slowly it was a cacophony of monkeys, cows, elephants, etc.
She just broke down. I almost feel bad.

We had a kid get suspended for a "fuck list" because it made everyone super uncomfortable. He looked and acted like Cartman.
We had another kid make a kill list and he was gone for sooooo long after. He was a total tryhard fag with trenchcoats and shit. Ironically, he and the fuck list kid were friends and had gay rumors.

Two teachers were married and taught at the high school. One cheated on the other with another teacher and all the kids knew. They were regularly confronted in class by students.

Our woodshop teacher in middle school creeped on all of the girls.

I had some friends a few years younger than me. They lived in like white trash country bumpkin area just ouside the burbs. Somehow they got ahold of some guns and robbed the only fucking stores and restaurants in their town. WITHOUT MASKS.
Needless to say they were caught and did time. One for sure does meth and has kids he doesn't take care of. The other had a gauged prince albert if that says enough.
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I'm not sure whether to be upset or glad my childhood wasn't as exciting as yours, tbh.
 
There was this mongoloid named Derek who only attended my school for one year in the 9th grade. He had the typical sperg look to him with his pizzaface complexion and the pube fuzz on his upper lip, combined with his odious behavior made him an insufferable troglodyte that no one could stand being around. He was the kind of kid who would act like an obnoxious douchebag around you and then the next day he would claim that he only acted like that because "he forgot to take his meds". He also thought that he was a "badass" for smoking in the boys room during lunch break and told me how much he enjoyed going around hitting trees with a bat because autism.

Since I went to a vocational school I had the misfortune of being stuck with him in shop class. He would constantly provoke me into hitting him because he thought "I was a pussy", and one time he dumped a fucking sheet full of greasy metal shavings down the back of my shirt as I walked past him, to which I retaliated by grabbing him and throwing him against one of the lathe machines. Before he could jump up to fight me the teacher jumped in between us and sent Derek to the office because he saw him dump that shit down my shirt.

He always claimed that he had a "really hot girlfriend" but she lived a few towns away and went to a different school so that's why nobody knew who she was, but he always swore up and down that "she was the hottest girl you would ever see, I swear to god". This was way back in the early 00's so long before smart phones and social media existed, so it was a lot easier for a kid to sustain some bullshit lie like that back then, but we always told him to show us a picture of her standing next to him to which he swore he would but of course he never did for very obvious reasons since everyone knew he was the biggest incel at my school.

One time towards the end of shop class Derek thought it would be a smart idea to smear all this black greasy oily shit all over this other kid Wiley's face, and it took Wiley a good 20 minutes to wash all that gunk off his face in the sink. This made everyone in the room want to beat Derek's ass for being a stupid fag since Wiley was pretty much the only kid who was actually friendly towards him, and Derek spent the rest of the period hiding in this little room in the back of the shop like a little bitch until school was dismissed. This incident made him a pariah at my school for the rest of the year and he never came back after freshman year and no fucks were ever given.
 
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Was acquaintances with one of the autistic students through junior high and high school. He had a deviantart and would always give me a "sneak peek" at whatever he was gonna post after school, mostly doodles and sketches of Pokémon characters iirc. He also would do the Naruto run to get to classes, even when going up and down stairs (he'd actually be able to clear half a flight of stairs while doing this and never hurt himself over the six years I knew him). The teachers would always yell for him to slow down, but he would just speed walk until they couldnt see him anymore and go back to running.
One day in our junior year, he waved me over in the hallway and held up a second backpack I'd never seen him bring before. Since he was bullied sometimes and I was one of his only friends, I was more than a little concerned when he said he "wanted to show me something secret". Instead of a school shooter kit though, the only thing inside the bag was a ton of old Nokia phones. I have no idea where he got them or why he had them, but he was really proud of his collection.
 
once with a few friends and a teacher on school grounds saw this scrawny ass nigga spoiling for a fist fight with this fat asses bastard..fatty wasn't having any of it but scrawn was just pushing and pushing with nasty words and literally pushing him. nigga was so excited and all of sudden fat ass grabs something from his pocket and swings with it into the skinny punks back...stabbed with a fucking pencil of all things got lodged in there and barely missed his heart. so fucked up skinny was literally crying and fighting for his life right in front of us. skinny was in hospital like 3 weeks and what happens to fatty? they expell him and the parents to skinny never press charges. still no one explained how why...but always has stayed with me...it was like the life was coming out this skinny kids eyes and he was staring at us all...fading away. Wow. Thankfully he lived.

Thats probably worst I can remember. Only other fucked up and bad one was when one of my closest friends at the time was raped on the stage where niggas would act, principal would say important shit. From what I remember it was all locked away but this nasty mofo and my friends...going by her story it lasted hours and that she would die. Bastard tired to kill himself after but got busted and did whatever time he did it was really a slap on the wrist. She was fucked up then and stayed that way til she killed herself almost 10 years later.

A horrible as those are and unforgettable I rarely had any memorable experiences directly involving me. I wasn't a loner nor popular. Some knew me well, some didn't. I kinda just did all I was supposed to do and hang our with friends after school usually at parties. I guess when I got in high school it become more of a blur as I was drunk more often than not lol but nothing sticks out. It was the shit always after school when the real fun happened.
 
My junior year of highschool this guy I knew (was friends with i guess we hung out a few times but didn't talk regularly) said in passing "I don't want to come to school tomorrow, I think I'm gonna call in a bomb threat."

Thought he was joking but the next day about 15 minutes into first period someone announced over the intercom to evacuate across the street. Payphones were being phased out of the city at this time but there were still a few, he called it in from one downtown but was caught on camera by a business nearby and was scooped up the next day.

A couple years after that his brother got in trouble for breaking into a church near the school and throwing paint thinner all over some of the walls I guess intending to burn it down, but he said he wasn't going to.

Family of geniuses those two.
 
We had this maths and business teacher who was just incapable of controlling a class. He had so little respect that we'd just call him by his first name as opposed to Mr. *insert surname* or sir. He used to physically throw us out of class (we were 13-14 at the time) saying "get out" in a funny voice and the kid who got thrown out (sometimes me) would just stare in the glass at the door making faces basically distracting the class even more.

Once we got bigger (around ages 15-16) and the manlet was incapable of throwing us out anymore, people would flat out be calling him a fat wanker to his face with their phones out in class and he wouldn't do anything. Someone even put a big piece of chewing gum on his seat and he sat on it ruining his suit trousers. When we heard his wife was Romanian, some kids used to jokingly ask him is it a mail order bride cause he's so ugly.

Once I turned about 16, I kinda felt bad for him and stopped being a wee shit but others still took advantage of him. Eventually he got fired in my final year when I no longer had him for any classes for "stabbing a kids hand with a pen". Basically he banged the pointy end of a pen on a table in frustration and some kids hand got in the way. Looking back, I always wondered why he never got the principal to talk to the class or sent people to the principal like other weak willed teachers would eventually resort to doing. The principal was a scary fucker too, so it probably would have put manners on us. I guess it was just a pride thing for him, to not go crying to the principal.

My school had plenty of other odd, interesting and fucked in the head teachers (Irish Catholic schools in a nutshell) but i'll leave those for future stories.
 
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I remember when i was in like first grade i once got into a friendly fight with some other kid, however i took it up one notch out of nowhere by sweeping his leg (something i had learned from cartoons and Mortal Kombat iirc) and making him fall over. He knocked his head and obviously started crying loud, but i ran away to not get in trouble.

At age 14 i also remember sitting with this tall, silent, delinquent-looking kid who looks like he failed 9th grade two times. He also had hentai and ISIS execution videos on his phone. I was a little pussy afraid of sitting with him at first but not too long after i felt he was the most chill guy to sit with and just shoot the shit, and helped me learn to not take banter from other kids so damn seriously. I guess it's mostly because i too felt pretty "ahead of my age" back then due to discovering imageboards and other internet shit, and because asides from being edgy, delinquent-looking types don't mask or act like social peacocks so much as anyone else. Even the "nerds" in my school were more like super extroverted "im such a geek with good grades!!1! Xd XDxd" who hardly knew anything about computers or non-toonami anime.
 
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We had two types of assemblies in secondary school- one in the big hall with our head teacher where we sang hymns and got proper chairs to sit on (weird because it was a typical UK state school) and one smaller one in the drama studio where we sat on the floor and listened to our head of year drone on. I was constantly getting glared at by my form tutor for miming to the music because I didn't feel like singing LOL

So one time during the head teacher assembly they had a random boy in our year come up and do this weird robotic dance routine on stage. It was bizzare and I felt second hand embarrassment for him big time.

They also did this film competition thing where we all went and filmed our own mini movies and then showed them all in the hall. It was pretty fun. I can't remember if I did one myself or whatever but they gave a prize to the best one which was a kind of creepy film if I remember correctly.
 
I have three stories involving poo in my school.

The first was what I like to call "cubicle 1" which was the name of this shit filled toilet in the first cubicle of the boys bathroom. Basically the toilet got blocked and people kept shitting in it regardless. It got to the point where there was so much shit, it was nearly covering the entire toilet seat. It was both disgusting and hilarious. I remember the day we seen the janitor walk into the bathroom and then out with a face like "i'm not cleaning that". It was weeks and I mean weeks until it was finally cleaned. The legend of cubicle 1 always brought group laughter when one of the lads would reminisce about it.

Our 2nd poo story was what I believe to be some guys attempt at imitating that South Park episode. Someone took a shit in the urinal. I remember being the first one to spot it and erupting with laughter on the way out telling the lads about it. Everyone was convinced I was the culprit in a kind of "whoever smelt it dealt it" way. Funny enough, this one was cleaned the next day and nothing came from it. I was expected the principal to call us all to the assembly room to give out to us and find the culprit. He did it for much lesser things like someone writing "James is a faggot" on the wall. Maybe he thought it was as funny as we did or the janitor said nothing.

Our 3rd poo story happened a year after I left school but my younger sibling and some lads the year before confirmed its authenticity. Basically a girl shit on the floor in one of the girls locker rooms. Yes you heard that right, a girl. Apparently it was some sort of a protest shit and she was even proud about it. According my younger sibling, she was nuts and would have been ripe lolcow material. From seeing the insane stuff she writes on facebook, she probably could be.

I'm surprised our janitor never quit tbh.
 
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I went to high school with this kid named Mike (such a common name here there's no need to make up a fake name) who was super into watching Jackass. I liked it to and so did most of the kids we knew. He and his friends also made videos of them doing goofy stuff and loved to show people. One of his friends got naked and swung on a rope swing and Mike took a video of it and also of the guy playing with his own dick. Mike thought the guy's dick looked weird and would draw pictures of it and talk to people about it (I wish I was kidding.) He was in trouble all the time for being the "class clown" that never knew when to quit and to be fair it was pretty hilarious. Mike's family was wealthy and owned a very successful business so he always had nice stuff - expensive clothes, a really nice new SUV and a bike he regularly bought parts for and worked on because he loved BMX.

So one day he stopped coming to school and no one, not even his close friends, knew where he went. It wasn't until the next school year that he came back...in an Army uniform. All he wanted to do was talk about how everyone should join the Army and that it was really easy. He only wore the dress uniform (I'm not sure what it's called exactly) and he would never come to school in regular clothes. He also stopped being funny. A rumor sprung up that he got caught selling ketamine and had to go into the Army to avoid going to jail. After showing up a few times in uniform and acting like a stranger no one ever saw him again
 
Quoookie said:
once with a few friends and a teacher on school grounds saw this scrawny ass nigga spoiling for a fist fight with this fat asses bastard..fatty wasn't having any of it but scrawn was just pushing and pushing with nasty words and literally pushing him. nigga was so excited and all of sudden fat ass grabs something from his pocket and swings with it into the skinny punks back...stabbed with a fucking pencil of all things got lodged in there and barely missed his heart. so fucked up skinny was literally crying and fighting for his life right in front of us. skinny was in hospital like 3 weeks and what happens to fatty? they expell him and the parents to skinny never press charges. still no one explained how why...but always has stayed with me...it was like the life was coming out this skinny kids eyes and he was staring at us all...fading away. Wow. Thankfully he lived.

Thats probably worst I can remember. Only other fucked up and bad one was when one of my closest friends at the time was raped on the stage where niggas would act, principal would say important shit. From what I remember it was all locked away but this nasty mofo and my friends...going by her story it lasted hours and that she would die. Bastard tired to kill himself after but got busted and did whatever time he did it was really a slap on the wrist. She was fucked up then and stayed that way til she killed herself almost 10 years later.

A horrible as those are and unforgettable I rarely had any memorable experiences directly involving me. I wasn't a loner nor popular. Some knew me well, some didn't. I kinda just did all I was supposed to do and hang our with friends after school usually at parties. I guess when I got in high school it become more of a blur as I was drunk more often than not lol but nothing sticks out. It was the shit always after school when the real fun happened.
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This reminds me of that time where a large crowd of high schoolers were standing in the middle of my apartment's parking lot to watch two teenagers edging each other on. They took inside one of the building and something happened that it warranted the paramedics showing up.

A few days later, I found out that the two teens had stabbed each other: One in the neck and obviously died on the scene. The other, elsewhere, but wound up dying in the hospital.
 
In my first semester of college, I took a sociology class. It was an honor's section, so it was in a classroom of ~30 and there was a fair bit of in-class discussion. Also, nearly every other student was a female nursing major, because apparently it's required for that major. (All my fellow CS Chads took intro psych, but I actually thoroughly read the academic requirements and found sociology fulfilled an additional one.) Three things I really remember:
  • Don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but one time a student briefly mentioned generation z being more woke and disobeying gender norms on tumblr or something (for reference, we were nearly all freshmen born in 1999-2000). I held my hand in the air for like five minutes just so I could say ackshually, statistics show generation z is more conservative, like the IRL equivalent of necrobumping a thread. Probably one of the most autistic things I've done in college.
  • It was an 8 AM class with mandatory attendance (in hindsight, probably why we were all freshmen). One time about halfway through the semester before the professor walked in, we were all talking about how much it sucked and wondered why we couldn't just do a video call and stay in bed. Wouldn't have mentioned this four months ago, but now it turned out to be incredibly portentious.
  • One time the professor mentioned "majoring in Sociology instead of Electrical Engineering" when listing things that would put someone at an economic disadvantage. Immediately after saying this, he paused, gave off this very insecure look, and said "that was a joke, by the way".
 
Pissmaster said:
There was one kid in elementary school who acted all smug about the kind of music he liked, asking other kids what kind of music they were into, and being all "pssh, that sucks, I like real music." That sort of thing.

His favorite band? The one he smugly said was the best, that qualifies as real music?

Fucking, of all things,

Reel Big Fish.

I didn't know who they were at the time, and he acted like I was some kind of idiot peasant philistine.
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Was this in the 90s when Ska was making a revival (ie Mainstream)?
 
During my Sophomore year of HS, I remember two Freshmen having the wussiest fight ever in the middle of the main hallway.

It was between a lanky redneck and a wanna-be punk emo kid that were fighting over some chick that both of them had briefly dated (she definitely got around). Said fight involved light shoving and lots of moving in circles with no talking or noises whatsoever. The two of them then separated about 2 feet apart in front of one of the science rooms, and both got into this faux karate stance with no actual action going on.

Two of my classmates and I needed to get into the room for Chemistry, and neither dipshit was moving an inch. One of my classmates says, "Either fight or move," and on a dime, the two guys just awkwardly move backward, without breaking eye contact with each other and let us pass. The same classmate then called them both retards, and the Chemistry teacher told them both to get to class. They both turned around while giving each other a dirty look, and that was the end of it.

Said chick ended up getting expelled a week later for having sex with a third dude on school property. I'm pretty sure the emo guy still thirsted for her afterward.
 
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