Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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In highschool

• I had a fat, and I mean fat agriculture teacher who was probably a pedo, he always stared at the big tiddy girls boobs and they always got good grades. He didn't last the whole year. Don't know what happened to him afterwards.
• Our Social Studies teacher wasn't even suppose to be a teacher, but our school hired him anyway. He was pretty cool despite having a similar name as a known serial killer.
• Had a gay world history teacher, everyone knew he was gay. He was actually pretty cool, he played a lot of old music which I was into.
• Had a math teacher who loved to talk a lot and we would always get her off topic by asking about her kids and shit. Had another math teacher who was the definition of "how do you do fellow kids?" who probably huffed hand sanitizer to get high cause he always smelt of hand sanitizer.
• Had a bunch of school whores, one was greatly hated amongst my group. I'll tell the story some other time.
• A girl got expelled for bringing weed to school and smoking it before class started. Dumbass bitch, she was also a school whore who thought she was the shit.
• Bunch of ghetto blacks and Hispanics, one of the blacks was nicknamed double barrel cause his nose looked like that of a double barrel shotgun.
• Had a teacher who was there since the beginning, we all called him Dinosaur cause of how old he was. My friend told me he finally retired, thank god!
 
Not me, but there was this group of wealthy AP (advanced placement) kids at my school loved to brag about how they would go to their parents' vacation homes and get drunk. It always sucked to hear them talking about it, thinking they were so awesome because they kept getting away with it. However, I overheard one story that makes me happy to this day whenever I think about it - One of the guys, Chuck, would always wander off when he got drunk and a lot of the time his friends didn't know where he'd gone. So one night he wanders off and went into someone's unlocked house, falling asleep on their couch. The guy who lived there must have been a heavy sleeper because he didn't hear Chuck enter. So in the morning, Chuck is awaken by a naked fat man, stunned by seeing a stranger in his house. The fat man beat the crap out of Chuck, who tried to explain what happened but the guy just kept attacking him.
 
During my first semester of senior year of high school my first class was forensics. By far the best class ever. All we did was watch episodes of CSI and we got to go on a class trip to the Bodies exhibit in NYC. Our teacher was weird (and from reading the other stories on this thread that seems like a common trait with science teachers) but was well-liked by everybody. Every Monday she would bring bagels from Long Island for the whole class. She didn't take the class seriously at all because, aside from Forensics, she was strictly an AP science teacher. There were no tests, and she gave pretty much everybody a B.
 
In 6th grade, our long-time principal Mr. B retired at the end of the year. One of my friend's and I celebrated on the last day of school by going to his house, firing up the original GTA on his PSX, and killing all the random men we'd decide were Mr. B. We also "killed" Mr. Fatty a bunch of times and man that felt good.

When school started up again in August (not a typo, in Arizona summer break is from late May to early August) our new principal was a young guy, Mr. M. As previously stated, my middle school had a well deserved reputation as a shithole. It was the dumping ground for awful teachers that couldn't be fired (like Mr. Fatty), but also presumably for teachers who didn't suck-up to the district board, or anyone they had a grudge against. Or hell, maybe even new prospects to see if they'd run or stick it out.

At any rate, Mr. M didn't seem to realize or care that he wasn't there to turn us around and make us the subject of a feel-good Hallmark or Lifetime movie (except it wouldn't happen because this wasn't an inner city ghetto school). This was made clear early in the year when he announced we would be having a talent show.

"Schools actually have talent shows?" That was my first thought when it was announced. I didn't consider signing up 1) because I'd been at this school long enough to know how it'd go, and 2) because art isn't something that can be easily demonstrated at a talent show. I mean, I guess you can if you get an easel, and big pieces of paper to do a quick sketch with markers. But that brings us back to point one, I'd been at this school long enough to know how it'd go.

Most of the school (including me) figured it'd be cancelled due to lack of sign-ups, but word got out that a whopping three acts had signed up and the show went on.

The first act was a performance by the newly formed breakdance club. And when I say newly formed, I mean just a couple weeks after the school year had started. It wasn't bad, just awkward to watch because they'd only just started learning basic moves. I 100% believe their instructor signed them up for the talent show due to the lack of willing acts. I knew most of them from my classes, they wouldn't admit it, but it was so out of character for them. And they wouldn't talk about the talent show either, which makes it all the more believable that they were forced into it.

The next act was the Step girls. "What's 'Step'?" some of you might be asking, and the truth is, I don't really know either. I think it's maybe the kind of dancing performed by back-up dancers in music videos? At any rate, the Step girls had only just started either, so the extent of their dance was step forward, clap, step left, clap, step back, clap, step right, clap, step forward, clap, ect. to some school approved censored hip hop. Unlike the breakdance boys, the Step girls were really mean and full of themselves, so I 100% believe they signed up willingly because they thought they were hot shit. They unironically believed they were better than everyone else at the school, including the other black kids (they were all black too). Nobody liked them or their performance, which they probably just attributed to us as being "jealous", or whatever.

The final act was not performed by a club, it was a single girl who signed up willingly. She was a fat and ugly girl from my year who'd been in my classes twice now. Her act was to sing a song...from NSYNC. Now, something I need to mention is that, at this school, if you didn't listen to actual adult music (Eminem is a wildly popular example from that year), you'd be mercilessly teased at best, and get your ass kicked at worst. And there she was, on stage to sing a song from a group widely and openly mocked among the school.

Worse, she didn't even provide a karaoke version of the song, she just gave the teachers a normal CD to play over the speakers. Worse yet, she had stage fright. So she just stood there stiffly with a classic deer in the headlights thousand yard state, and basically just poorly lip synced to the song. She made the Step girls look good in comparison, a feat I didn't think possible.

After the song finally ended and NSYNC girl got off the stage, Mr. M got up on stage and gave a short speech about how our school has such talented students, but the rest of us should be ashamed of ourselves for not signing up for the talent show. And those of us who didn't clap should be double ashamed for not giving the talented students the respect they deserve. He ended it by saying that at next year's second annual talent show he'd better see more students sign up to share their talent with everyone.

Evidently even Mr. M didn't believe the prepared bullshit he spewed, because there was no talent show next year, thank god. After that I moved onto high school, but I wouldn't be surprised if he never tried to organize a talent show at that school again.
 
MysticMisty said:
In 6th grade, our long-time principal Mr. B retired at the end of the year. One of my friend's and I celebrated on the last day of school by going to his house, firing up the original GTA on his PSX, and killing all the random men we'd decide were Mr. B. We also "killed" Mr. Fatty a bunch of times and man that felt good.

When school started up again in August (not a typo, in Arizona summer break is from late May to early August) our new principal was a young guy, Mr. M. As previously stated, my middle school had a well deserved reputation as a shithole. It was the dumping ground for awful teachers that couldn't be fired (like Mr. Fatty), but also presumably for teachers who didn't suck-up to the district board, or anyone they had a grudge against. Or hell, maybe even new prospects to see if they'd run or stick it out.

At any rate, Mr. M didn't seem to realize or care that he wasn't there to turn us around and make us the subject of a feel-good Hallmark or Lifetime movie (except it wouldn't happen because this wasn't an inner city ghetto school). This was made clear early in the year when he announced we would be having a talent show.

"Schools actually have talent shows?" That was my first thought when it was announced. I didn't consider signing up 1) because I'd been at this school long enough to know how it'd go, and 2) because art isn't something that can be easily demonstrated at a talent show. I mean, I guess you can if you get an easel, and big pieces of paper to do a quick sketch with markers. But that brings us back to point one, I'd been at this school long enough to know how it'd go.

Most of the school (including me) figured it'd be cancelled due to lack of sign-ups, but word got out that a whopping three acts had signed up and the show went on.

The first act was a performance by the newly formed breakdance club. And when I say newly formed, I mean just a couple weeks after the school year had started. It wasn't bad, just awkward to watch because they'd only just started learning basic moves. I 100% believe their instructor signed them up for the talent show due to the lack of willing acts. I knew most of them from my classes, they wouldn't admit it, but it was so out of character for them. And they wouldn't talk about the talent show either, which makes it all the more believable that they were forced into it.

The next act was the Step girls. "What's 'Step'?" some of you might be asking, and the truth is, I don't really know either. I think it's maybe the kind of dancing performed by back-up dancers in music videos? At any rate, the Step girls had only just started either, so the extent of their dance was step forward, clap, step left, clap, step back, clap, step right, clap, step forward, clap, ect. to some school approved censored hip hop. Unlike the breakdance boys, the Step girls were really mean and full of themselves, so I 100% believe they signed up willingly because they thought they were hot shit. They unironically believed they were better than everyone else at the school, including the other black kids (they were all black too). Nobody liked them or their performance, which they probably just attributed to us as being "jealous", or whatever.

The final act was not performed by a club, it was a single girl who signed up willingly. She was a fat and ugly girl from my year who'd been in my classes twice now. Her act was to sing a song...from NSYNC. Now, something I need to mention is that, at this school, if you didn't listen to actual adult music (Eminem is a wildly popular example from that year), you'd be mercilessly teased at best, and get your ass kicked at worst. And there she was, on stage to sing a song from a group widely and openly mocked among the school.

Worse, she didn't even provide a karaoke version of the song, she just gave the teachers a normal CD to play over the speakers. Worse yet, she had stage fright. So she just stood there stiffly with a classic deer in the headlights thousand yard state, and basically just poorly lip synced to the song. She made the Step girls look good in comparison, a feat I didn't think possible.

After the song finally ended and NSYNC girl got off the stage, Mr. M got up on stage and gave a short speech about how our school has such talented students, but the rest of us should be ashamed of ourselves for not signing up for the talent show. And those of us who didn't clap should be double ashamed for not giving the talented students the respect they deserve. He ended it by saying that at next year's second annual talent show he'd better see more students sign up to share their talent with everyone.

Evidently even Mr. M didn't believe the prepared bullshit he spewed, because there was no talent show next year, thank god. After that I moved onto high school, but I wouldn't be surprised if he never tried to organize a talent show at that school again.
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Sounds like you and I went to middle school around the same time, some of that really hit home hahaha and yeah we had a step team as well but only black girls could join.

My middle school had regular talent shows but I was in a program that focused on performance and stuff so there were more people who participated. The girls singing N*SYNC to a CD was a real deja vu moment lol. One of the dance groups that peformed did a full dance routine to "Rumpshaker" (I have the tape of their performance that I would love to convert and upload) and you could tell they didn't practice much and only one girl knew the entire routine. Her name was Kelli. Kelli was the dancer in the middle of the five girls. At one point she stepped in front of the other girls and started shaking her boobs (reminder this was middles school and she was 13) and right before the end of the song their other girls just stopped dancing altogether because they forgot what to do. Kelli turned around and got into sort of an open-leg push-up position and twerked and all the middle school boys went crazy, yelling and whistling and smacking the lunchroom tables. I've never seen anything like it before or since. Because they wanted to sell tapes of the performance after the fact for fundraising the very end of the performance was cut off but the rest of it is definitely there
 
One time in fourth grade we had to watch an anti-cyberbullying video, and when we were giving our thoughts afterward I got scolded for saying it looked fun.
 
There was this annoying class clown type who picked a fight with a jock who didn't want to risk getting in trouble. Kid kept talking shit, egging it on, etc until the jock agreed to fight after school, off campus. Didn't see the fight, but the next day the jock didn't have a scratch on him but the clown wasn't there. Day after that, and clown boy shows up with a bruise in the shape of a sneaker across the top of his head.

Sea creature said:
• I had a fat, and I mean fat agriculture teacher who was probably a pedo, he always stared at the big tiddy girls boobs and they always got good grades. He didn't last the whole year. Don't know what happened to him afterwards
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Ugh. I had a science teacher like that. He'd always have an excuse for us to go up front and point something out on the board, usually in a way where the girls had to stretch.
 
Had an interesting set of teachers throughout high school.

History (later psychology) teacher was an older guy who sounded almost exactly like Kermit the Frog. Very much a "how do you do, fellow kids?" personality. He'd overhear us talking about some PS2 game and chime in, saying "he plays a mean game of Hot Shots Golf" and challenge us to a match, to "be there or be square" he was a dork, but we all liked him anyway.

World Lit teacher was a Simpsons fanatic. She was always so ecstatic to show a new class the Simpsons take on The Raven. Had a Simpsons themed chess set in her classroom and she'd pepper Simpsons references constantly throughout her lessons. She was fun, would tell the dumber kids or the ones who didn't give a shit "not to be a bunch of Ralph Wiggums." Wonder how well that would go today, basically calling some of her students retards.

Biology/botany/basic science teacher was this laid back Jewish hippie who got a lot of shit by some kids for being Jewish. They'd steal his Bob Dylan poster in his classroom, throw pencils at him, found him crying once because someone carved a swastika into his desk. His teaching method was boring, but he was very easy-going and calm, and would really bond with students that tried. He burned some Dylan CDs for me and my friend when we took his class and expressed interest in Dylan's music . Wonder sometimes how he's doing today.

Math teacher was this middle aged biker guy who loved Monty Python and D&D. He'd run a D&D group after school to teach newbies and show how fun interactive storytelling could be. It lasted a few months until the autistic kids demanded to join in and shit everything up, then he gave some vague reason to disband the group shortly after. Best lesson he ever taught us was that autists ruin everything.
 
Autumnal Equinox said:
Had an interesting set of teachers throughout high school.

History (later psychology) teacher was an older guy who sounded almost exactly like Kermit the Frog. Very much a "how do you do, fellow kids?" personality. He'd overhear us talking about some PS2 game and chime in, saying "he plays a mean game of Hot Shots Golf" and challenge us to a match, to "be there or be square" he was a dork, but we all liked him anyway.

World Lit teacher was a Simpsons fanatic. She was always so ecstatic to show a new class the Simpsons take on The Raven. Had a Simpsons themed chess set in her classroom and she'd pepper Simpsons references constantly throughout her lessons. She was fun, would tell the dumber kids or the ones who didn't give a shit "not to be a bunch of Ralph Wiggums." Wonder how well that would go today, basically calling some of her students retards.

Biology/botany/basic science teacher was this laid back Jewish hippie who got a lot of shit by some kids for being Jewish. They'd steal his Bob Dylan poster in his classroom, throw pencils at him, found him crying once because someone carved a swastika into his desk. His teaching method was boring, but he was very easy-going and calm, and would really bond with students that tried. He burned some Dylan CDs for me and my friend when we took his class and expressed interest in Dylan's music . Wonder sometimes how he's doing today.

Math teacher was this middle aged biker guy who loved Monty Python and D&D. He'd run a D&D group after school to teach newbies and show how fun interactive storytelling could be. It lasted a few months until the autistic kids demanded to join in and shit everything up, then he gave some vague reason to disband the group shortly after. Best lesson he ever taught us was that autists ruin everything.
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I wish I could simultaneously give this a like, feels and a winner rating. It's pretty fucked up how those asshole kids treated that Jewish teacher, and those DnD spergs reminded me of a sperg I went to school who pretty much fagged everything up with his sperginess.
 
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Retard freshman football player brought a revolver to school and showed it off to his friends in the football locker room. Dude accidently fires it. Fortunatly it didn't hit anyone but it left a bullethole in the concrete floor. Student in the hallway hears the gunshot so the school naturally freaks the fuck out and instantly goes into lockdown mode. At least twenty cop cars showed up (our English classroom has a window pointed toward's the school's main entrance). Kid gets arrested for illegal possession of a firearm and I don't know what happened to him after that. Hilariously our principle tries to cover up the fact that a gun was involved but obviously there's a fucking bullethole in the floor. Thanks to this retard kid the side doors that once provided us easy access to the student parking garage were locked and I now had to loop all the way around the fucking school.
 
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Thought I had previously mentioned it here, but guess it was in another thread. Anyhoo, there was a time in elementary some aide wanted to organize a weekly(?) game club or something for us kids after school, but it only got talked about because of Yu-Gi-Oh. The Duel Monsters cards had been blowing up in popularity, so that was the biggest draw to the club, and that's what took up most of the club's time even though there were other board games and such. So it was a fun idea, but I don't remember it lasting more than a month because some little shit had been stealing cards from the organizer's own deck, and the card game got banned. None of us could even keep bringing our own to the club like before, so the club just died from lack of interest.

That same year, my teacher banned SpongeBob books in the classroom because us kids were passing my friend's copy around and some of us were drawing some violent pictures of the characters and got caught. As far as I know, no parents were notified.
 
I once got called to the principal's office in elementary school because I was perusing a SPEEDO mag during lunch; I needed a new suit.
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My high school years were mostly uneventful save for a few notable occasions:

The two girls who got into a fistfight in the hallway, managed to pull each others tops off, and continued fighting shirtless as all the boys stood around and cheered.

The kid who decided to drop acid during class and flipped out. Took multiple teachers and eventually the cops to restrain him.

The teachers aide/lunchroom monitor who was given the unfortunate nickname of Boo Boo, after Yogi Bear's sidekick. He was so pissy about it that anyone who said the name in his vicinity was immediately sent to the Dean's office, the referral slip reading, "Called me Boo Boo."

Finally, in my junior year a classmate decided to have a few friends over when her parents went out of town. Truly, she'd asked over maybe three or four people. Unfortunately for her, word got around and the end result was like Jake Ryan's party in "Sixteen Candles."
Living room furniture trashed, holes in walls and doors, someone rode an ATV all over the front lawn and tore it up, her parents bed was thoroughly fucked in with plenty fluid evidence left behind. There was more, but its been a long time and I cant remember it all. I do know it took her almost to the ten year reunion to pay her folks back.
 
When I was in highschool I was the connection for anything and everything. Booze, tobacco, various drugs, even legal stuff too. (Side note: I sold quite a few porno magazines and dvd's. This was also the early 2010's. Internet porn was very much a thing. Dunno why people would want them when they can get all they want for free, but hey I was making money so I didn't look too much into it.) On occasion I would even set up some card games too. Those actually had a couple teachers in on it so that kept me out of trouble (as gambling was against school rules and state law) But I digress.

My reputation as a scrounger had all kinds of schoolmates coming to me for not only for booze or weed, but often for strange things such as cheerleaders and orchestra kids buying sex toys from me. But the strangest request led to a major incident in the school. The weird kid who fancied himself a prankster came to me, and requested a couple of live squirrels, and if I could keep schtum about it. He offered me $500 for the job. Now, that is what I could clear in a week from selling homemade booze and ganja. And he offered that for a single request. I asked him what the hell he wanted with two live squirrels, and why he was offering so much. He refused to say anything more other than it was going to be the biggest and funniest prank in (Redacted) High School history. He even showed that he had the cash to pay me for it. Honestly I couldn't see any harm coming of it, and if he hurt anyone or the squirrels I knew I could drop a dime on him so he wouldn't get away with it. Plus a week's pay in a day. So I took him up on his offer.

Catching squirrels is hard work. I was only able to nab him one. Before school started, I sent him a message telling him to meet me in the back of the parking lot, were we wouldn't be seen. He seemed disappointed that I only had the one, but he paid me in full. He still wouldn't tell me what it was for, and he got it stowed in his backpack. We went our separate ways.

Three class periods later, I was in the auto shop. I was re-building a carburetor for a project. All of a sudden I hear all hell breaking loose above me. Almost directly above the auto shop is the commons, where lunch was held. Over the intercom I heard the (rather panicked) principal announce a lockdown. So I'm sitting there with the rest of the class hiding in the shop, speculating what the hell happened. After an hour and a half the principal announced the lockdown was over and all students are to go to their 5th period classes for roll call. After attendance was taken, we were then lead to the auditorium for an assembly.

Apparently this dude released that squirrel near a table with the cheerleaders during the biggest and busiest lunch period. The cheerleaders screamed and ran from their table. This incited panic in the entire area, people thinking there was a school shooter or something. People fled from the commons in a stampede and the panic spread to other nearby classrooms. Miraculously, the squirrel wasn't trampled to death. It ran into the kitchen where it was then caught by the janitor. And the best part?

THE SCHOOL HAD NO IDEA WHO DID IT. They spent the entire assembly trying to shame whoever did it into giving themselves up, but both me and that dude kept silent. I had a poker face, but he was having a hard time keeping even a straight face. That wasn't unusual, as once the students knew what was up everyone was laughing hard. He never admitted to doing it until after he collected his diploma.
 
A guy at work told me a funny incident that happened when he was in junior high. One morning during a thunderstorm the entire school was placed inside the auditorium until school started, and right when everyone was seated these two black chicks chimped out and charged at each other from opposite ends of the room and start ripping each other's hair/extensions out. He said that after the principal broke up the fight there were so many clumps of hair on the floor that it could've been used to make a wig.
 
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DelicateMageflower said:
The two girls who got into a fistfight in the hallway, managed to pull each others tops off, and continued fighting shirtless as all the boys stood around and cheered.
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When I was in grade nine a girl from the ninth grade and tenth grade got in a fist fight out in the student smoking area. The ninth grader got the shit beat out of her so bad she had to have her jaw wired shut. Our gym teacher who was a huge shitlord used to clinch his teeth togther and talk through them to make fun of her.

Fuck can you imagine there being a student smoking area today?
 
Yop Yop said:
Back in high school I hung out with some real /b/tards. We were weird as fuck, but most people put up with it. That being said, we were pretty racist, sexist, and obsessed with hentai.

There was this really cute Taiwanese exchange student in one of my classes. Short, thin, very pretty and had the typicall Asian girl haircut. We sat next to each other every day in English. I actually kinda started to like her after a while. She had this Bronyfag host brother in the grade below us and we all hated the fuck out of him for spamming his shitty webcomics and amateur r34 on Facebook (this guy might deserve a thread actually). Anyway, one day I made a joke about him to her and she started railing into him talking about the creepy shit he does at home and how his own family hated him. From then I felt love.

I confessed to my /b/tard friends that I had a crush on the Taiwanese girl. This was a horrible mistake.

A day later, I was in study hall, reading a book or something probably, when she approached me. She thanked me the letter I sent her and said if I wanted to be her boyfriend I just needed to ask. I went red as fuck (I also had a gf from another school).

"What letter...?"

She gave me a folded up little note and said "you didn't write this?"

I took it and I read it.

My friend had written it and slid into her locker. It was the most racist thing I've ever seen in my life. It was a letter, supposedly written by me, in horrible shitty broken English. It talked about how I'd like to take her on a date to eat dogs and cats, alluded to tentacle rape, and at one point asked "is Godzilla real?". At the bottom there was a picture of us holding hands, and of course she had super squinted eyes and buck teeth.

Why she didn't take this to the office I don't know. But I was appalled. I told her no, that I didn't write the note, and she politely accepted. Looking back, she was way better than my old GF. Now she's married to this super rich Ukrainian guy.
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Your dumbass friend wrote that horribly offensive letter to her and yet she still wanted to be your girlfriend?
 
My secondary school had a full on fight club. It was codenamed “Cheese” and people would go around classes telling us that two kids were “Cheesing” up on the field. It got to the point where fights were being hyped up and booked and almost half the school year went and watched. A couple of weeks in the teachers must of either found out or a kid snitched because the head of year got spotted by one of the lookouts and we all had to run before they could catch us.

Other gems include the time a kid drunk universal indicator and had to vomit it all out again or the various incidents on the buses which included one near stabbing and one impailing on a doorknob.
 
Some Year 9s broke into the science cupboard and stole all the potassium and magnesium.

The potassium went into the town's river, that much everyone knew, (rumours state the ensuing reaction set a couple of ducks on fire). The teachers didn't know where the magnesium went.

Until someone set fire to it in the boys loos and ended up gutting the ground floor of the English block.
 
Another story from eighth grade:

About a month after Deemo came out, I was showing it to a couple friends while waiting in the hallway for the history teacher to arrive. I was just going to boot up Saika in hard mode as a quick demo, but I kept hitting every note. I ended up getting a perfect on the song with a third of the class watching, while playing in the least optimal way possible.
 
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