Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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There was a time I couldn't find my math text. Thought I left it at home. Went to class and the teacher, this wonderful old battle-axe who had retired after thirty years then gone back to teaching just for the heck of it, pulled me aside. She said my book had been found in the boys bathroom in a urinal. I ended up in the principal's office, because I was initially being blamed for taking my own textbook into the guy's bathroom and pissing all over it. They were threatening to suspend me.

Turns out the school pothead broke into the wrong locker and stole what he thought was the State Trooper's kid's book as revenge for being arrested over the weekend for doing stupid teenage pothead things. But, because his family was very rich and donated a ton to the school, nothing ever came of it.
 
This didn't happen to me but to someone I know. It's just way too good not to share -

My female friend is half-Japanese and told me she went to high school with this really creepy guy who had a fetish for Asian girls (I want to be clear this was not a normal attraction and he was ironically not a weeb.) Despite being half-Japanese she was not at all interested in that side of her heritage and spoke no Japanese. So one day the creepy guy approached her at school and says something to her in a language she doesn't understand. She asked what he was saying. Was he speaking Japanese to her? No. He was asking her out...in Klingon. Best. Plot. Twist. Ever.
 
Me and my two best buddies used to walk to the gas station near our school for lunch. It was a pretty idyllic walk through a forest of spruce and fir trees, down to a river, over a footbridge and along the riverside on a trail that passed behind our school and connected to a parking lot next to the gas station. I'd usually get a couple of gas station hot dogs. Then we'd walk back along the river. There was a ballfield along the way with wooden dugouts. If someone bought a fruitopia or nestea something that came in a glass bottle, we'd stick it in this hole in the wall in the back of one of the dugouts and take turns throwing rocks at it. Whoever broke it scored a point and we kept a running tally through the school year of who had the most points.

When we got back to school, we had a good 15 minutes until the end of lunch. We had some CDs with a shareware version of Doom 95 that the librarian, who we had a good relationship with, let us stash in the library. If we had a good 15-20 minutes left when we got back, we'd often play a round on the school lan before the end of lunch. We get to the library and it's unusually packed. We go in and everyone is watching CBC over the air on one of the school's TVs on those big black carts with the wheels. Our school had around 400 students and a good two thirds of them seemed to be there.

They were watching a news report about the September 11th terrorist attacks.


Keep in mind I'm in a timezone a good bit later than the US east coast.
 
With the recent JK Rowling "controversy", I remembered that for some reason, all the super smart guys I knew at school were massive Harry Potter fans, and if they found out you weren't into the series, they got EXTREMELY mad at you. I never understood what was so great about those books.
 
I didn't see this but my close friend was there.

My high school had a weird layout, and we had to cross the street to get access to an open grassy field area for P.E..

The field was being rented from another school so it was fenced off with one entry all the way at the end. I should mention the fencing was wrought iron with pointy arrows sticking out the top.

One of the very sporty, hyper, and very dumb classmates tried to climb over the fence before our teacher could come unlock the gate, so he sprinted all the way across the road, leaped up into the air and tried to grab one of the posts to pull himself up and over.

Apparently, he miscalculated, and somehow IMPALED his wrist onto the fence in a clean in-and-out. It missed bone but it was pretty bloody. An ambulance was called, class was cancelled, and we were never allowed to use the field again. The kid who jumped was a muscian and fucked his hand up permanently too, it was pretty sad.
 
Toilet Grenade said:
The worst thing I ever experienced in school was the time when we came back from lunch and we all saw a used condom in the middle of the hallway. Everyone in that hallway went apeshit and scattered.
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I remember being on the bus from my vocational school to the regular high school. The kids in front would inflate condoms and float them around on the bus.

One time, somebody popped one and there was some liquid inside.

Another time, I was irritated at this upper classman on the bus so I took one of his cigarettes from his hand and just broke it. And gave it back to him. He slapped me with it when we boarded out.
 
My school was really invested in rowing, which meant that I had training every day of the week except Sundays — think Friday Night Lights, but posher and with a higher risk of drowning. To balance this out, the club organised activities for us, one of which was a paintballing trip. It was pretty fun (helped by no small amount of cheating on my part) but after it ended, me and a friend who lived nearby got a call from his mother saying she couldn’t pick us up from the site. One of the coaches volunteered to drive us to the boathouse so we could be picked up from there, and while that went fine I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I got an email from the school a few years later saying that particular coach was being investigated by the police.

Imagine my even greater surprise when the case and subsequent sentencing (six years) becomes national news, because he really was that much of a nonce. He’s been convicted of (deep breath) 27 charges of intentionally encouraging boys to send photos, one charge of engaging in sexual communication with a child, one count of causing a child to view sexual activity, four charges of inciting a boy to engage in sexual activity, one charge of distributing an indecent image of a child and three charges of possessing indecent images of children. Virtually all the boys he targeted were in the rowing club, and I’m still not sure how I managed to escape his notice.
 
At my high school graduation, I was sitting next to our local pot dealer. Funny kid, we all loved him. They had handed out these cards with our names on them to pass up to the lady who would call our names as we walk onto stage to receive our diploma. Easy, right? Well, I’m not sure what possessed this kid to EAT his card. So when the lady was announcing names, it was off by one for everybody who walked 😂
 
Brain Power said:
With the recent JK Rowling "controversy", I remembered that for some reason, all the super smart guys I knew at school were massive Harry Potter fans, and if they found out you weren't into the series, they got EXTREMELY mad at you. I never understood what was so great about those books.
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I never knew any guys who were into Harry Potter back when I was in school, it seemed like only girls were into the books/movies.

I remember reading the first three or four books when I was a kid but the books would always struggle to hold my attention by the time Harry went back to Hogwarts, I thought that was just my ADD doing it's thing but then my sister said the same exact thing when she tried reading the books.

Pretty sure I gave up reading the books because the 4th one was like 800 fucking pages long and bored me to tears, not to mention my dad would constantly make lame dad jokes wherever he saw me reading the books.
 
There was this guy in school who used to draw shitty comics where all of his characters would have two left hands for some reason. On occasions (such as geography) when I had to sit beside the guy due to assigned seating, he would torture me by talking about his graphic novel he's making and i'd be too nice to tell him to shut the fuck up. He stunk of sweat and never washed his hair as well. There were also rumours he had bestiality porn on his phone.

As for autist moments, he had several. One of my favourites was when we were called for an assembly in the usual assembly room we went to for years. He then walked in late and the teacher asked "where were you" and he said "I got lost" causing the entire assembly of about 100 people to erupt in laughter. The teacher then joined in the mocking saying "you've been here 5 years and you're still getting lost on your way to assembly". He then sat down red faced in sheer embarrassment. I kind of felt bad for him but then remembered all the times he tortured me in geography class about that graphic novel (and his BO) and thought "fuck him".

Another of his autist moments was when he showed up for the wrong exam during our leaving cert (Ireland's final year exams). He did ordinary level English (the one dunces do) and sat in the exam room when it was the higher level exam. We were all wondering what the fuck he was doing there but nobody told him. Eventually the examiner told him it was higher at the start of the exam and he did another red faced walk of shame out of there. The lads in woodwork used to nickname him Tom Riddle (no idea why) and once stole his school diary stabbing a hole in it saying they need to destroy the horcrux. We then voted him King in the debs (our version of the prom) and also "best wizard" with the only other competition being a ginger guy who looked like Ron Weasley.
 
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UnsufficentBoobage said:
Wonder how much of them are Rick&Morty fans now, or consider the "HP and methods of rationality" fic the best shit ever.
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No idea about those guys, but the english teacher at high school was a Rick & Morty fan. Although to be fair, he was really young, in his mid-twenties at best.
Broseph said:
I never knew any guys who were into Harry Potter back when I was in school, it seemed like only girls were into the books/movies.

I remember reading the first three or four books when I was a kid but the books would always struggle to hold my attention by the time Harry went back to Hogwarts, I thought that was just my ADD doing it's thing but then my sister said the same exact thing when she tried reading the books.

Pretty sure I gave up reading the books because the 4th one was like 800 fucking pages long and bored me to tears, not to mention my dad would constantly make lame dad jokes wherever he saw me reading the books.
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Girls were too busy watching reality shows and overly sexualised crap on TV to care about a series of long books. That might explain some things they started doing as soon as they hit puberty...
 
One of my grade school teachers turned out to be a pedo who went from having sex with 15 year olds in the 90's to touching six year olds in the 2010's.

Progress.
 
Back in highschool I was friends with this white kid, decently tall, slim, had a ton of girls fawning over him.

Then 10th grade happened and he changed like a ton, became fat, smelled of cheese and generally acted super fucking weird. If I recall correctly he used to just walk up behind girls and randomly hug them, god it felt weird seeing him do all this stuff.

I got more stories but my memory is a bit fuzzy, when I remember the details fully I'll post more, because my school was weird man
 
Here's a positive school story (though the bad ones are still pretty funny) - my 9th grade biology teacher began our sex ed class by saying, "Okay, so why do people have sex...aside from the fun part?" and everybody laughed. Someone said "to reproduce" and the class moved forward. The best part about this was that she broke the ice so effectively that people asked a lot of questions and the class wound up being really interesting and memorable, not awkward like it could have been
 
Our science teacher was a tryhard (gay as hell, dyed hair, rainbow tie, "quirky" music taste) and noticing we weren't really paying attention in biology, he asked us about which of us were "obviously experts about vaginas". One kid said "Not you, sir, I've seen your boyfriend". shockedpikachu.jpg

Cue juvenile laughter, teacher bursts into literal tears, leaves the room, head of year enters a few minutes later, entire class in detention for a week. He was a little more subdued after that. Still makes me laugh, remembering his face.
 
Troon Draugur said:
Our science teacher was a tryhard (gay as hell, dyed hair, rainbow tie, "quirky" music taste) and noticing we weren't really paying attention in biology, he asked us about which of us were "obviously experts about vaginas". One kid said "Not you, sir, I've seen your boyfriend". shockedpikachu.jpg

Cue juvenile laughter, teacher bursts into literal tears, leaves the room, head of year enters a few minutes later, entire class in detention for a week. He was a little more subdued after that. Still makes me laugh, remembering his face.
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A good teacher would have taken that with good humour.
 
CWCissey said:
A good teacher would have taken that with good humour.
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He could have given a good retort, something like "Are you jealous?" haha

Troon Draugur said:
Yeah, he was an absolute faggot, literally and metaphorically. Kinda got the impression that even the other teachers didn't like him, tbh...
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Why am I not surprised by that? Your desciption of him sounded pretty detestable. I was fairly certain that my biology teacher from my story a few posts up was a lesbian but the only problem anyone really had was her was she graded pretty tough
 
When I was in elementary, a new boy joined the grade below me, I'll call him Tom. Tom was tubby and had long greasy hair that would go down to his shoulders, and his head was slightly pear shaped. He had major ADHD, and you could feel that he was not all there in his head. He wasn't exactly a bad kid, a little whiny and annoying but not the worst.

Fast forward a couple years. Tom joined the same middle school as I did. It seemed like as the years went by, he was slowly losing his cognitive ability. He stopped bringing his school bag, and he would wear the same dirty clothes everyday. Tom wouldn't attend class, and he had no friends. He would just walk slowly around the school nonstop. It got even stranger when he stopped speaking all together, and he begun to bring a giant stuffed animal of a manta ray to school. He would just walk around, dragging this dirty manta ray with him, not speaking, with a one thousand yard stare. If anyone were to come up and speak to him, he would start swinging the manta ray towards them until they backed off, and he would continue walking without even saying a word. I even saw him walking around the town multiple times, the same way he did at school, alone and with that manta ray. I left that middle school that year and I never saw him again.

Ive thought about whether he was faking all this for attention. Although the fact that he would act like this even if no one was around him, and how he would walk around the school nonstop for hours brings this into doubt. Especially with his ADHD. He may have been annoying, but the fact that this is what he became is tragic. He came from very a broken home. I doubt whoever looked after him cared about how he was doing, otherwise they would have gotten him help.
 
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