Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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Testaclese Maximus said:
I'm 14. My school started sex-ed, and the teacher presented the class with a thought experiment: "would you rather have a bag of gummy worms or real worms, to eat?" the response of the class, was, of course, logical, in saying gummy worms. The androgynous looking slimy cuck running the class responded by saying that in a south-east Asian culture, the opposite would be true, and this is due to social constructs. He then said gender is the same way. I said that I identify as an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter, (dead meme, I know), and un-ironically asked me what my preferred pronouns were. "Propeller and rotor." soon thereafter, I stated that my gender identity had changed to being mayonnaise. He once again un-ironically asked me what my preferred pronouns were. I couldn't take it, and burst out laughing alongside the rest of my like-minded peers. I managed to utter something along the lines of "this is what happens when the ideological pathogen known as liberalism infects western society." We need to win this culture war, pedes.
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Pretty sure the Asians would like gummy worms if they had them available. Or any other form of protein. Worms and insects are resorted to when other animals are too hard to get.
 
Testaclese Maximus said:
I'm 14. My school started sex-ed, and the teacher presented the class with a thought experiment: "would you rather have a bag of gummy worms or real worms, to eat?" the response of the class, was, of course, logical, in saying gummy worms. The androgynous looking slimy cuck running the class responded by saying that in a south-east Asian culture, the opposite would be true, and this is due to social constructs. He then said gender is the same way. I said that I identify as an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter, (dead meme, I know), and un-ironically asked me what my preferred pronouns were. "Propeller and rotor." soon thereafter, I stated that my gender identity had changed to being mayonnaise. He once again un-ironically asked me what my preferred pronouns were. I couldn't take it, and burst out laughing alongside the rest of my like-minded peers. I managed to utter something along the lines of "this is what happens when the ideological pathogen known as liberalism infects western society." We need to win this culture war, pedes.
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Did everyone clap?
 
I remember when in 8th grade my class had gym class out at a fairly big park (we were allowed to roam free for an hour after gym before going back to school) when some of the boys had found a decapitated, incinerated corpse without limbs (basically a crisp torso) hidden between some bushes. Me and some of my friends were scared shitless, but a couple guys were convinced it was just a fake for some prank to the point where a the ballsiest of them even dared to poke it with their shoed toes, giggling up a storm. Even our gym teacher, a fairly cool guy in his late 30 (back then), was convinced it was just some mannequin, only for him to be summoned to the local policed department the next day, which had left even the most daring chads of our class shocked.

I never saw it myself in the news, but according to my friends it was broadcast that the missing head and some of the limbs were found within a 30 miles (I think) radius of the torso. The torso was huge and very buff (to my 14 year old self in seemed like it had belonged to some almost 7 feet tall giant), and I always though it was some street thug who got into trouble with some criminal gang. It's not like I was mentally scarred or anything (initial shock and horror aside), but every now and then I get reminded of the incident and go "Oh yeah, that was a thing that happened". Never told my parents though, since I didn't want them to freak out.
 
Ruin said:
wat how?
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If they did what one of the cruds at my school did, they waited for the new one to be brought on on a cart and while the janitor and workmen were inside taking the old one off the wall they stole it wheeled out the side door to his buddy's truck and drive thirty miles out to the mountains to throw it off the cliff. They would've gotten away with it were they not stupid enough to drive out the back exit where the school resource officer liked to take his smoke breaks.
 
This ancient professor I have this semester unwittingly uploaded the midterm to Blackboard a week before we took it.

The best part is apparently nobody told her because she didn't say shit about it, and the test was verbatim to the file she uploaded.
 
ForgedBlades said:
This ancient professor I have this semester unwittingly uploaded the midterm to Blackboard a week before we took it.

The best part is apparently nobody told her because she didn't say shit about it, and the test was verbatim to the file she uploaded.
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I'm not sure if I posted it earlier in this thread, but something similar happened to me in my Freshman year of high school.

My World History 1 teacher, known for being an easy grader, gave us a list of 50 questions that would likely appear on our final exam. The next day, someone flippantly asked for the answers. She then proceeded to spend the rest of the class period giving us the answers to all 50 questions.

I'd be surprised if anyone got a C or lower on that final, unless they put zero effort into it.
 
aight well this is a long one but I have a couple. they are mostly about the trashy girls in the school I went to tbh.

this one chick I knew from an "alt school" i went to. was HAWT but a total ho bag basically partied her way though HS. is now like I think 20 or so with 2 kids no fathers.

this other girl I knew well and her mom and dad, I had a huge crush on her but knew it was never gonna happen. I guess she ended up sleeping with like 80 guys now all she dose is party live with her mom and work minimum wage jobs.

also ironically enough I met 2 spec ed chicks that were nuts but still pretty cute. one of them had this guy who wore a fedora to school everyday un ironically and was a total spaz for a boyfriend. now she came up to me in the cafeteria line and started scratching my back because she "liked it when others did it to her". to wit I replied you ever touch my again I'll knock your teeth in. but tbh I'd put up with her being nuts because she was like a solid 7.5 or 8 out of 10 I mean bit of a butter face but solid d's.

ditto with the other one I met she was blonde a total weaboo and stalker but again 7.5 or 8 out of ten.

but as my old man said never stick your dick in crazy.

my last one is my ex (no real names), tammy she snitched on this crazy dirtbag name wanda who was in the circle of people I'd have lunch with. so I went to get something to eat and came back to see Wanda getting led out in hand cuffs. apparently tammy got into a huge fight with Wanda when tammy said something stupid which caused her to swing at tammy nearly hit a teacher and get arrested for disorderly conduct at like 16.

so this is what I got for now when I get off work I'll tell you all my greatest one. it involves bj's fake ID beer and mooning a man on the highway.
 
My best friend and I had a friend who brought a box cutter to school (middle school), and cut up everyone besides my best friend and I. He was later arrested.

In college, my school is shared with some academy, and some student at the academy brought a fucking molotov cocktail to school. [luckily he was on a different floor from me]
 
I used to be on an all-girls sports team. We were definitely the more tomboy-ish group in the school and there were some power struggles that escalated over time. Eventually two of the senior girls ganged up on a pretty valuable and well-liked teammate and raped her in the locker room. It was such a hushed up topic and everyone collectively moved on so quickly that I sometimes wonder if it actually happened.
 
PorcupineTree said:
I used to be on an all-girls sports team. We were definitely the more tomboy-ish group in the school and there were some power struggles that escalated over time. Eventually two of the senior girls ganged up on a pretty valuable and well-liked teammate and raped her in the locker room. It was such a hushed up topic and everyone collectively moved on so quickly that I sometimes wonder if it actually happened.
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What the fuck?
 
In freshman year there was a sperg in my asl class, he was normal enough to be there but only an idiot wouldn't notice. He was at least 6 feet tall with a baby face that was constantly red. The sperg would ask me to watch bendy and pixelmon videos with him and I didn't say know because I've seen him sperg out and I want no part of it.

One day this fat bastard walks up to me and says 'Do you want to hear a secret?', I say sure because why the fuck not and this man leans down and whispers into my ear 'I have a transformation fetish'

That shit haunts me oof
 
We were allowed in Year 11 to go out to the local shops at lunchtime, and there was this one girl who came into our English class after lunch, started going on how about this budget supermarket called Netto was actually good and proceeded to piss off the teacher by spilling a 2 litre bottle of Coke on the floor. She was later the subject of a rumour that she left school after the Easter holidays because she was pregnant.
 
I remember one time I was in a classroom in junior high when someone said something like "look out the window!" I look and there's 2 very large groups charging into eachother and fighting like something out of a Lord of the Rings movie. I think it was gang related.

This school was like something out of those cliche American movies about an inner city school. You know, the kind where a determined teacher tries to make a difference?

Anyway, the school didn't really make a big deal out of it. I don't recall any announcements, there were no lockdowns, no change in rules, nor do I recall the police showing up.
 
some kid dropped some pills in front of a teacher and got expelled
lockdown next week because of a school shooting threat
 
Our highschool computer lab was a huge warehouse-like building with 20' ceilings. These ceilings had fans mounted on 10' poles with 3 wires attached to them somewhat like inverted tent stakes to keep the fans from wobbling.

One day someone threw a mousepad at one of them.

Within an hour 80% of the mousepads in the lab were jammed in the rafters and probably a third of the bracing wires on the fans had snapped. Within 24 hours it was a suspendable offense and within a week there was a camera set up to catch the people still doing it since absolutely nobody would snitch on the person risking their academic career to give us entertainment.
 
My mom worked as a kindergarten tard wrangler for five years at the same school I went to. It was pretty sweet because I had basically unfettered access to the teacher's lounge until fifth grade. The best part was getting to be privy to all of the gossip going around about the teachers. My mom would get on the phone every night and talk shit about her coworkers with her clique. I guess she thought I was too naive to understand what they were talking about (wrong) or she didn't give a shit. I learned about one of the fourth grade teachers getting arrested and fired for stalking one of the second grade teachers a week before it hit the paper.
 
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