Shanties Without Panties - Gunt Parody Song Thread - Submissions Welcome

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Captain Manning said:
Here's the thing, my man:

Ralph almost certainly can't fucking sing. This is a parody of Ralph. Get it?

If somebody who can actually sing did this, would it also be funny? Sure. Maybe. It would be a different kind of funny though. I don't think the creator of this meant for it to be played casually in the background along with whatever is currently on the Billboard Top 10.
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It has a real Newgroundsesque feel to it. It should sound just as shitty as the videos on that site did, just to keep it authentic.
 
Captain Manning said:
Ralph almost certainly can't fucking sing. This is a parody of Ralph. Get it?
Click to expand...
Heh... wait until I reveal my parody of Ethan Ralph: His sextape, reenacted by me and an underage boy! :evil:

The look on his face as I sniff the boy's poopoo stink will be so epic hahaha
 
I've listened to "Total Eclipse" a dozen times and the initial "every now and then I rip a shart" kills me every time
 
I know that there's no way in hell that it's him... But the guy singing for Ronnie Ralph kind of sounds like Mike Stoklasa to me, haha.
I still thought it was hilarious. XD
 
here is my contribution it’s my first one i made it last night. this song is dedicated to mantsu:

well, i tumble outta bed and it smells like booze
lookin at the clock it's the mid afternoon
work's in an hour should call the uber soon

taking a shower, skip the shampoo
ralph's on stream screaming IT'S NAWT TRUUUUU
I DIDN'T DOX HIM, IT WAS PROBABLY YOU!

subway, 9 to 5, makin' ethan ralph his living
barely getting by, it's all liquor and his gambling
he's just gettin' high, while my shifts seem never ending
it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

sunrise, 9 to 1, taking sandra's medication
died without her son, cause he won't get a vaccination
stuck with this memphis pig, to spite the child bride
now i have another subway shift at 9

paypigs suck the gunt but it really doesn't matter
with an ugly man purse, dry steak on a platter
in the end i'm footing the bill anyway

now ralph's mad again about his babymama
posts on /cow/, running ops and starting drama
cause he paper aborted, and he can't say xander's name

memphis 5 foot 1, drinking maker's popping xannies
eats shit off his thumb, and his only friend's his janny
stuck with this memphis pig, to spite the child bride
now i have another subway shift at 9

subway, 6 to 2 then the liquor store for maker
getting shit for views, on his pillstreams with gator
sharting on his chair, clean it up hours later
but it was just a stretch you dirty ayylawg haters

https://youtu.be/UbxUSsFXYo4
 
It's nice seeing the new breed of shanty writers are having fun, it's time for the og shanty go release a song.

Burning the gunt bridge
Parody of little dark age by mgmt
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Breathing in the shart smelling like a pigsty
The Pants are ruined, because you didn't wear boxers
And the more I watch the clip
I die a little inside
The friendship starts to rot, one seethe at the time.

(Chorus)
Oh
Crying on the stream for saying it's nawt poo
Spending the whole show, being felted by a jew
When you get out of that chair
Don't end up being felted by with each disavow on the rage while your allies Burn the gunt bridge

(Verse 2)
Going to Vegas leaving your pregnant bride
While she looks at her loli getting blacked
Each time you play a card you continue To
Fellatie your pride
You are still coping from the shart in your little shack.

(Chorus)
Oh
Your jannies are here to sweep from the little joke
Sahnny is here to console, while you weep in cope
When you get out of that chair
Don't end up coping hard, screaming on stream while your allies burn gunt bridge

(Chorus)
Your jannies are here to sweep from the little joke
Sahnny is here to console, while you weep in cope
When you get out of that chair
You'll end up moving site to site
Disavowed while your allies burn the gunt bridge

(Bridge)
Enjoying in delight, seeing what's the come
Seething in fright, thinking of the next cope

(Chorus)
The Gunt swears Christ is king
While grooming some teen
I know my friends and I
Wouldn't trust a ween
When you get out of the chair
You'll Find us writing shanties
About you shitting your panties
While your allies burn the gunt bridge

(Chorus)
Your jannies are here to sweep from the little joke
Sahnny is here to console, while you weep in cope
When you get out of that chair
You'll end up moving site to site
Disavowed while your allies burn the gunt bridge

(Outro)
moving site to site
Disavowed while your allies burn the gunt bridge

 
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An anthem for the Killstream fans, all 50 of them.

Dare To Be Gunted

Put down that Maker's and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be strangers
It's time to make the future white

You better join all the fags in the Discord
You better send your love via superchat
You better suck Ralph's meat in a tweet
You better pony up for the Killstream app

You better eat all the Xannies you can
While Mama Ralph is not around
Stick a thumb in a teenager and call yourself the man

Feed off a trashburger
Sneed over a number two
Breed a loli weeaboo
What can you do?
Dare to be gunted

Take your mama's pill stash
Wear your Pedo Josh hat
Watch your daily Tucker now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be gunted

You can try to slap a cop
You can be a Gator fan
You can save the whites even if you're Mexican

Dare to be gunted
Come on and dare to be gunted
It's so easy to do
Dare to be gunted
I swear it's not poo
Let's go

It's time to make a fatherless baby
So can I have a volunteer?
There's no more time for crying over DA JOOS
Now it's time for crying about queers

Sperg out, harass a family, move out to VA
Get yourself a man purse and gamble away
Once you're dead broke you can file pro se
It's okay, you can dare to be gunted

It's like calling your Uber
It's like it isn't even true
It's like I said I didn't dox him and it probably was you

Dare to be gunted
(Yes)
Why don't you dare to be gunted?
It's so easy to do

Dare to be gunted
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be gunted

Burn all the bridges you come across
Look your wife horse in the mouth
Weeb incels can call you boss

You can be a Gold Star Caller
You can be white trash and still think you're baller
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do?

Dare to be gunted, dare to be gunted
What did I say?
Dare to be gunted

Tell me, what did I say?
Dare to be gunted
It's alright
Dare to be gunted
We can be gunted all night

Dare to be gunted
Come on, join the crowd
Dare to be gunted
Holler out loud

Dare to be gunted
I can't hear you
Dare to be gunted
Okay, it's unmuted now

Dare to be gunted
Let's go, dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted

Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
 
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