Remaking Harry Potter Is A Terrible Idea

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

Remaking Harry Potter Is A Terrible Idea

BY
STACEY HENLEY

Harry Potter is getting a seven season television adaptation that retells the movies, with JK Rowling heavily involved. What's the point in any of it?

News that Harry Potter is getting a HBO television reboot feels emblematic of where our current media culture is right now. Harry Potter is now a highly controversial franchise, thanks almost entirely to creator JK Rowling’s stance on trans people, which in turn has dredged up the problematic undertones of her Jewish-caricature bankers and Asian characters named Cho Chang who is excellent at Maths, or Irish character Seamus Finnegan who is stupid, dirty, and often causes explosions while trying to brew alcohol. Mostly though, it’s emblematic because it’s boring.

Leaving aside your, my, or anyone else’s thoughts on Harry Potter as a political entity, this is just a dull idea. The proposed TV series will run for seven seasons, each one dedicated to a book. The last movie came out barely a decade ago in 2011, and they’re still regularly shown on TV around Christmas and air frequent marathons. Why do the exact same thing again? At least Hogwarts Legacy, for all its flaws, was a new idea.

This might be where Rowling’s public image finally comes back to bite her. An easy way to make money would be to bring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson back and do a ‘where are they now’ continuation with Harry as a Wizard FBI agent, just as the books ended. But given all three have publicly criticised Rowling and publicly stated their support for trans rights, and that JK Rowling is actively involved in this new show, those three seem happy to remain on muggle shores.

Then there’s the fact that Rowling is mentioned at all. Let’s ignore what that means from a social justice perspective (my colleague Tessa Kaur has an excellent breakdown of that) and instead look at it from a production point of view. Recently, The Last of Us creator Neil Druckmann was heavily involved in the game’s HBO adaptation, and as a result we see a lot of shot for shot recreations of scenes and characters we already know so well.

Some episodes expanded on things heavily, like Long, Long Time, but mostly it’s just the game, exactly as the game looked. Considering Rowling was also heavily involved in the movies, and her closeness to the show won’t allow it to interrogate any of her worst writing traits, you have to wonder what the point of the series is at all.

Then, we come back to the answer - it’s money. Hogwarts Legacy made money. Harry Potter merchandise still makes lots of money. Ergo, the TV series will make money. But I’m not sure that’s so simple either. The Fantastic Beasts movies declined at the box office to the point where the fourth and fifth movies were quietly dropped, and I’m not sure who the target audience for this is. There are a lot of Harry Potter obsessed adults but what they love most of all is their own nostalgia.

Hogwarts Legacy let them live out their dreams of, well, going to school, I guess. It’s hard to see that many people with Harry Potter tattoos or children named Luna and Draco caring about the stories they’ve already seen a million times but this time without the actors they love. Then you get to the fact the books are wildly different in length, meaning the first series will need a lot of padding and not start off on the strongest foot. Amazon thought Lord of the Rings was too big to fail, but The Rings of Power has been average at best in both quality and viewership, and that’s without any controversy.

It’s easy to buy a video game because of anti-wokeness. There’s a huge crossover online between those who live their lives specifically to be against a thing, and those who play video games. Many of the internet’s most reactionary content creators have their roots in video games, so it’s natural that they support Hogwarts Legacy. Partially because trans people asked them not to, and partially because it’s a triple-A game. That’s harder with a HBO show, very few are going to keep up with a subpar magic high school drama full of padding and where they’ve already seen the movie version tell the story much slicker, just to own the libs.

The name alone will ensure the Harry Potter TV show does kind of well, at least to begin with. But it won’t attract the rampant fanbase who flock to the Wizarding World theme park to buy their personalised wands, nor will it have much sway with a general audience who’ve already seen the movies and read the books. Later series, which expand on what the movies had to trim, may have potential, but by then the first couple of thin books may have already turned fans off.

Looking only at the cash flow, you can see why ‘more Harry Potter’ makes sense. But remaking popular movies that many people still watch regularly, failing to appeal to the most obsessed audience by only showing them what they’ve seen before, and attaching the highly controversial creator to ensure bad publicity and a lack of original ideas is the worst way to go about ‘more Harry Potter’. If you hate trans people and are going to force yourself to watch it to win some made up culture war, you’re in for a bumpy ride.
 
It's going to be pointlessly unwatchable. I wouldn't humor it even for the spectacle of seeing how hard they drop the ball like with Rings of Power, and my interest in that waned after episode 3 because it was too boring.
Oh, don't  watch it, for pity's sake, it will be dreadful.

But the streets will flow with rivers of milk.
 
Every-time they hit an actual good point why not to remake the series, (its creatively bankrupt, the films came out only a few years ago, only the most obsessive members of the franchise will tune in), they always jump back to SJW talking points.

Becuase if it wasn't for "muh trans lives" bullshit, they would be celebrating such news as the second coming of Christ. Its only because of the current SJW hot topic that they are so against it.
 
I don't want them to remake it because they will fuck it up. The Weasleys will be niggers because redheads are no longer allowed to exist, Hermoine will be a tranny, and SPEW Elf Lives Matter will be tearing down statues of Merlin because he was too straight, white, and male.

Kill mudbloods. Behead mudbloods. Roundhouse kick a mudblood into the concrete. Slam dunk a mudbloods baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy muggles. Defecate in a mudbloods food. Launch mudbloods into the sun. Stir fry mudbloods in a wok. Toss mudbloods into active volcanoes. Urinate on a mudbloods broom. Judo throw mudbloods into a wood chipper. Twist mudbloods heads off. Report mudbloods to the HMRC. Karate chop mudbloods in half. Curb stomp pregnant muggle mudbloods. Trap mudbloods in quicksand. Crush mudbloods in the trash compactor. Liquefy mudbloods in a vat of acid. Eat mudbloods. Dissect mudbloods. Exterminate mudbloods in the chamber of secrets. Stomp mudbloods skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate mudbloods in the oven. Lobotomize mudbloods. Mandatory abortions for mudbloods. Grind nigger mudbloods in the garbage disposal. Drown mudbloods in fried chicken grease. Vaporize mudbloods with a ray gun. Kick old mudbloods down the stairs. Feed mudbloods to alligators. Slice mudbloods with sectumsentra.
Nah, Hermione is now black (because of the casting for Cursed Child). She could always be a black tranny but the Weasley's will probably be every shade of brown you can imagine just so they can avoid having red heads on screen.
 
This is the author, in case anyone's wondering if this is a genuine opinion or standard-issue seething and coping:

8951cb834529161.5ffefdb0a48ce.jpg
 
Harry Potter is getting a seven season television adaptation that retells the movies, with JK Rowling heavily involved.

So no tranny characters then? Good.

I have a question: What is wrong with Cho Chang's name? Does it mean something funny? I always hear her name is problematic. But I'm not up on Harry Potter enough to know what it is. I assume maybe it was made up on the spot or something.
 
i’m oddly optimistic about it, the movies after goblet of fire are bad. if there’s one place that could possibly not fuck up harry potter in 2023 it’s HBO. i’m sure their will be trannies and 80% Pakistani casting but HBO still makes good television even if they are starting to churn out more crap every year.
 
So no tranny characters then? Good.

I have a question: What is wrong with Cho Chang's name? Does it mean something funny? I always hear her name is problematic. But I'm not up on Harry Potter enough to know what it is. I assume maybe it was made up on the spot or something.
Every time I see people sperging about "Obviously the orcs in Tolkien are niccos while the elves are Nazi ubermenchen blah blah blah" I feel like that says more about the person than it does about the original work.

So you see racist caricatures everywhere you go, hmm? You know who else does that?
 
So no tranny characters then? Good.

I have a question: What is wrong with Cho Chang's name? Does it mean something funny? I always hear her name is problematic. But I'm not up on Harry Potter enough to know what it is. I assume maybe it was made up on the spot or something.
People have been using Cho Chang as a gotcha for almost 2 decades. A bunch of people have been assblasted about the character because the name is rather stereotypical and the girl really only showed up so harry could have a crush on her, find out she was dating someone else (though closer to her own age), and then go on a rather terrible date with Harry because she ultimately wanted to talk about her dead boyfriend that Harry just so happened to witness being killed the previous year.

The character doesn't really have more substance than to move the plot along but you can make that argument with pretty much every character in every story ever told.
 
It's time to move on to more interesting, original IPs. Harry Potter's height of awesomeness has come and gone with the conclusion of the series. I suppose Hogwarts Legacy was alright but most of the fun I've had playing it was the smug knowledge that the troons wouldn't even be able to pirate it.

The left don't want their own IP, they want to take yours, and subvert and destroy it. Why do you think they are rewriting old books right now? You aren't allowed to have your shit. It's all their shit, it belongs to them.
 
HBO Max, which is owned by Warner Bros, which should in theory have the Harry Potter movies on their streaming service, doesn't have the rights to stream the movies because Peacock has those rights.
You can go watch the hairy potty movies right now on HBO max. I don’t know if they are paying peacock to be able to stream them or whatever but you can definitely still watch them on HBO max
 
The left don't want their own IP, they want to take yours, and subvert and destroy it. Why do you think they are rewriting old books right now? You aren't allowed to have your shit. It's all their shit, it belongs to them.
You say that but they've yet to wokify my SEX with HITLER dating sim. We're in a renaissance of small, new, and creative IPs. Everyone with talent or a vision is doing their own thing. Liberals can never be cool - they can only chase cool.
 
Oh, don't  watch it, for pity's sake, it will be dreadful.

But the streets will flow with rivers of milk.
Not worth it. Besides, it's still possible to produce the salt you're clearly looking for without constantly rehashing older properties.

On another note, I don't see any reason to expect HBO to not pervert the original material with their particular brand of "writing".
 
I have a question: What is wrong with Cho Chang's name? Does it mean something funny? I always hear her name is problematic.
Cho Chang Impersonator said:
Ms. Rowling. Let’s talk about my name. Cho. Chang. Cho and Chang are both last names. They are both Korean last names. I am supposed to be Chinese. Me being named “Cho Chang” is like a Frenchman being named “Garcia Sanchez.”
Source.

Chick deleted her videos and video responses from the internet, but I swear she had to apologize for not realizing that different languages had different name sets and a name that might be a last name in one language might be a first name in another.

Also she tried to blame Asians for internalized racism because they felt that they were all interchangeable and doesn't that say more about society than about her? But then if you go back to the start of the poem she says
When you put me in your books, millions of Asian girls across America rejoiced! Finally, a potential Halloween costume that wasn't a geisha or Mulan!
As if Asian Americans are interchangeable with Asian Brits, or Japanese are interchangeable with Chinese. She started the whole thing off by acting like Asians are a monolith and then is shocked when that's exactly how Asians interpreted her work.
 
I love the thought experiment of if an actual Nazi found a cure for cancer. Would you give him the Nobel prize? Would you protest people who took it?

FFS, its a basic story meant for children, and the seething of the trannies and their allies because she, checks notes, says men can't be women is hilarious.

Yet, they can't stay away. They hate how rich and famous she is, but they like what she made. So they try to steal it from her like leftist commie trash is prone to do.
 
Oh boy! Another shitty rehash "for modern audiences" that no one will remember or care about a year or two after the fact.
Remaking anything should be outlawed from here till the end of time.

Anyone who wishes for, advocates for, or tries to create a remake of any classic should have their spine broken with a sledgehammer.
 
I have a question: What is wrong with Cho Chang's name? Does it mean something funny? I always hear her name is problematic. But I'm not up on Harry Potter enough to know what it is. I assume maybe it was made up on the spot or something.
Cho Chang is a stereotype name like naming an European character "Pierre Linguini".

There is a "Cho Chang" mentioned in Sport Nights, btw.
 
Another walls of repeated lies.
JK kept on making money hand over fist, while these journo-liars are still inhaling copium after all these years.

No matter how bad you say her writing is, you'll write anything half as good as her. In the later years, all your accomplishments will still be dust.
 
Back
Top Bottom