Remaking Harry Potter Is A Terrible Idea

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Remaking Harry Potter Is A Terrible Idea

BY
STACEY HENLEY

Harry Potter is getting a seven season television adaptation that retells the movies, with JK Rowling heavily involved. What's the point in any of it?

News that Harry Potter is getting a HBO television reboot feels emblematic of where our current media culture is right now. Harry Potter is now a highly controversial franchise, thanks almost entirely to creator JK Rowling’s stance on trans people, which in turn has dredged up the problematic undertones of her Jewish-caricature bankers and Asian characters named Cho Chang who is excellent at Maths, or Irish character Seamus Finnegan who is stupid, dirty, and often causes explosions while trying to brew alcohol. Mostly though, it’s emblematic because it’s boring.

Leaving aside your, my, or anyone else’s thoughts on Harry Potter as a political entity, this is just a dull idea. The proposed TV series will run for seven seasons, each one dedicated to a book. The last movie came out barely a decade ago in 2011, and they’re still regularly shown on TV around Christmas and air frequent marathons. Why do the exact same thing again? At least Hogwarts Legacy, for all its flaws, was a new idea.

This might be where Rowling’s public image finally comes back to bite her. An easy way to make money would be to bring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson back and do a ‘where are they now’ continuation with Harry as a Wizard FBI agent, just as the books ended. But given all three have publicly criticised Rowling and publicly stated their support for trans rights, and that JK Rowling is actively involved in this new show, those three seem happy to remain on muggle shores.

Then there’s the fact that Rowling is mentioned at all. Let’s ignore what that means from a social justice perspective (my colleague Tessa Kaur has an excellent breakdown of that) and instead look at it from a production point of view. Recently, The Last of Us creator Neil Druckmann was heavily involved in the game’s HBO adaptation, and as a result we see a lot of shot for shot recreations of scenes and characters we already know so well.

Some episodes expanded on things heavily, like Long, Long Time, but mostly it’s just the game, exactly as the game looked. Considering Rowling was also heavily involved in the movies, and her closeness to the show won’t allow it to interrogate any of her worst writing traits, you have to wonder what the point of the series is at all.

Then, we come back to the answer - it’s money. Hogwarts Legacy made money. Harry Potter merchandise still makes lots of money. Ergo, the TV series will make money. But I’m not sure that’s so simple either. The Fantastic Beasts movies declined at the box office to the point where the fourth and fifth movies were quietly dropped, and I’m not sure who the target audience for this is. There are a lot of Harry Potter obsessed adults but what they love most of all is their own nostalgia.

Hogwarts Legacy let them live out their dreams of, well, going to school, I guess. It’s hard to see that many people with Harry Potter tattoos or children named Luna and Draco caring about the stories they’ve already seen a million times but this time without the actors they love. Then you get to the fact the books are wildly different in length, meaning the first series will need a lot of padding and not start off on the strongest foot. Amazon thought Lord of the Rings was too big to fail, but The Rings of Power has been average at best in both quality and viewership, and that’s without any controversy.

It’s easy to buy a video game because of anti-wokeness. There’s a huge crossover online between those who live their lives specifically to be against a thing, and those who play video games. Many of the internet’s most reactionary content creators have their roots in video games, so it’s natural that they support Hogwarts Legacy. Partially because trans people asked them not to, and partially because it’s a triple-A game. That’s harder with a HBO show, very few are going to keep up with a subpar magic high school drama full of padding and where they’ve already seen the movie version tell the story much slicker, just to own the libs.

The name alone will ensure the Harry Potter TV show does kind of well, at least to begin with. But it won’t attract the rampant fanbase who flock to the Wizarding World theme park to buy their personalised wands, nor will it have much sway with a general audience who’ve already seen the movies and read the books. Later series, which expand on what the movies had to trim, may have potential, but by then the first couple of thin books may have already turned fans off.

Looking only at the cash flow, you can see why ‘more Harry Potter’ makes sense. But remaking popular movies that many people still watch regularly, failing to appeal to the most obsessed audience by only showing them what they’ve seen before, and attaching the highly controversial creator to ensure bad publicity and a lack of original ideas is the worst way to go about ‘more Harry Potter’. If you hate trans people and are going to force yourself to watch it to win some made up culture war, you’re in for a bumpy ride.
 
Remaking Harry Potter is an excellent idea because it will funnel more money into the pockets of TERF Queen JK Rowling who will in turn invest that money into anti-trans causes in the UK which will in turn influence more anti-trans causes in the US. These things in turn will make troons seethe, which is even better.

do a ‘where are they now’ continuation with Harry as a Wizard FBI agent, just as the books ended
I don't want to watch Harry as a wizard Fed unless it's like some X Files shit.
Many of the internet’s most reactionary
Little "i" Internet.
 
It's a "the gaymer" article so insta ignore but... I have to fully, completely and utterly agree with the headline.. (even though it's likely not for even a single of the same reasons) While pointing out that calling it a "terrible idea" is not nearly strong enough!
 
Uhhh...when I heard about HBOmax's plan for a TV show it was going to be based on the Hogwarts Legacy game? Did that change? Also the Franchise and the Fantastic Beast movies are on HBOmax again. I had read due to the success of the game WB cut a deal to make some new content in the universe I didn't see anything saying blatant remake.
 
Stacey here is a joke when it comes to JK. But on the bright side they did make the BBC have to apologise for not pushing back on the claims that JK is transphobic.


Summary of complaint​

We received complaints from listeners who claim that Stacey Henley was allowed to call J.K Rowling transphobic, and was not challenged on this by Evan Davis.

Our response​

We do accept that there wasn’t sufficient challenge to the claims that were made and that we fell short here.

Clearly J.K Rowling has been at the centre of a lot of controversy for her views, and that has led some to call for the new game Harry Potter Legacy to be boycotted. We wanted to explore that debate among fans and it was not meant to be an examination of J.K Rowling’s position per se. Evan Davis has since tweeted that he should have made it clearer that Stacey Henley’s view of J.K Rowling is her own premise for boycotting the game and is heavily contested - ‘I think perhaps we got stuck because we were actually trying hard not to debate J.K Rowling or the substance of her views. We hadn’t intended or cast it that way.’ He did challenge the characterisation of her views being put forward by Stacey Henley, but we do agree this should have happened at an earlier stage during the discussion and could have been done more thoroughly.

This is a difficult and contentious area which we do try very hard to cover fairly and well on the BBC. However we should have challenged Stacey Henley more directly on her claims and apologise that we did not.
 
I don't want to watch Harry as a wizard Fed unless it's like some X Files shit.
They kinda tried that with Cursed Child (stage play that focuses more on Albus Severus Potter and The Malfoy boy but still). It was shit and I have read better fanfiction with the same premise. To this day I don't know why Rowling gave the play her blessing as a piece of canon or whatever.
 
This might be where Rowling’s public image finally comes back to bite her. An easy way to make money would be to bring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson back and do a ‘where are they now’ continuation with Harry as a Wizard FBI agent, just as the books ended. But given all three have publicly criticised Rowling and publicly stated their support for trans rights, and that JK Rowling is actively involved in this new show, those three seem happy to remain on muggle shores.

Thats a terrible idea since all 3 of them would want a giant paycheck and had bargain power. also all 3 of them are burned out.

That’s harder with a HBO show, very few are going to keep up with a subpar magic high school drama full of padding and where they’ve already seen the movie version tell the story much slicker, just to own the libs.
whats the cost of letting you TV run the Harry potter show 24/7 if you already pay for HBO? or even better, use some of those TV boxes and pull the HDMI cable after setting it up.
 
So no tranny characters then? Good.

I have a question: What is wrong with Cho Chang's name? Does it mean something funny? I always hear her name is problematic. But I'm not up on Harry Potter enough to know what it is. I assume maybe it was made up on the spot or something.
Cho Chang is Asian and is smart (a Ravenclaw in the books). Also likes white boys.

That's literally it.

JKR has a whole slew of characters that all have kind of "fun" wizardy names because it's a book about wizards. Hermoine Granger (who had normal parents), Albus Dumbledore, and the famous Kingsley Shacklebolt (the black guy). There's a guy with a crazy eye called "mad eye", a werewolf name "Remis Lupin", a Nymphadora Tonks, etc.

She probably could have used slightly less stereotypical names - but the books are aimed at children so they characters have to be a little fun.
 
I wonder how many troons wil die this time....
 
I still cannot understand why, at any singular point in our history in the last 30 years - why we given so much power and credence to men wearing wigs. I understand that these faggots were already in positions of power, but when they started calling themselves SARAH or their Ex-wife's name, why did people continue listening to them?

And to think, all of this bullshit started because we decided to collectively stop people from bullying these faggots off the mortal coil.
 
Cho Chang is Asian and is smart (a Ravenclaw in the books). Also likes white boys.

That's literally it.

JKR has a whole slew of characters that all have kind of "fun" wizardy names because it's a book about wizards. Hermoine Granger (who had normal parents), Albus Dumbledore, and the famous Kingsley Shacklebolt (the black guy). There's a guy with a crazy eye called "mad eye", a werewolf name "Remis Lupin", a Nymphadora Tonks, etc.

She probably could have used slightly less stereotypical names - but the books are aimed at children so they characters have to be a little fun.
I was about to mention this. That even if you accept that Cho Chang isn't a real Chinese name or whatever, Harry Potter is filled with silly, unrealistic names to populate a fantastical setting, and you don't see fits being thrown about that broad case.
 
This troon tried to get universal Orlando to dump Harry Potter from theme parks. They literally laughed at him.
 
Ironically, the best way to "adapt" Harry Potter to TV would be to just fucking make a Teen Titans Go type version of it.

It would let them basically create a slice of life show with negative continuity (meaning that you can have all of the characters running around at the same time and not be bound by strict adherence to the plot structure of the overall series), plus let them do serious and comedy storylines and poke fun at elements of the franchise and the characters.
 
Reality itself was a terrible idea and yet here it is.
Also who gives a shit if it's terrible. It's a fucking kids book/show/game. Fucking get over your childhood manchildren.
 
Thats a terrible idea since all 3 of them would want a giant paycheck and had bargain power. also all 3 of them are burned out.


whats the cost of letting you TV run the Harry potter show 24/7 if you already pay for HBO? or even better, use some of those TV boxes and pull the HDMI cable after setting it up.

All three are rich from the film royalties and if you want to get particular, the only ones who would be "desperate" would be Grint and Watson. Watson in particular since her career has dried up since she no longer can fuck Weinstein for roles.

But a direct follow-up/sequel series would probably require a Hannibal Lecter type situation* where Rowlings would write them as novels first, to give her creative control on that front and then you'd have to give Rowlings about a 3-5 years head start to get at least two to three books made to give the tv show material to work with to avoid having the tv folks to have to start making original content.

*Thomas Harris sold the ownership of Hannibal Lecter to Dino De Laurentiis, who had a handshake deal with Harris that he would be allowed to produce source material for any future adaptations involving Hannibal Lecter. It's one of the reasons why Hannibal the TV show ultimately got canceled; as they had adapted all of the material they could legally adapt and any new material, would require Dino to have to go back on his promise to Harris since it would mean effectively ceding the direction of the franchise to Bryan Fuller.
 
When did this happen? There is not even Maths in Hogwarts. She's in Ravenclaw, where the smart nerds are, but so is Luna Lovegood.
They have Arithmancy as an elective, which is number-magic. No idea how it works. IIRC Hermione did okay at it on account of her critical thinking skills, but you'd never hear that.
Cho Chang is a stereotype name like naming an European character "Pierre Linguini".

There is a "Cho Chang" mentioned in Sport Nights, btw.
Based.
I don't want to watch Harry as a wizard Fed unless it's like some X Files shit.
Are you kidding? You could do an action movie starring an adult Harry as he goes doorkicking on dark wizards. No way are you doing X-Files type stuff with him considering his physical inability to look before leaping into danger. Hell, could even have him pub crawl with Dudley and get into a brawl with some random guys, because it wouldn't be England without a violent pub crawl.
 
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