yeah in terms of physique men generally peak between 25 and 30, maybe up to 35 for some late bloomers.
still, a man in her overall situation would be on a different level than her because for a man all the material things she listed ("i own a car and a house and have big money in the bank") actually make a significant impact on his attractiveness, while for the woman they don't.
also, while having kids would still be bad for his prospects, i think in the eyes of women a man being a single dad is way less of a deal breaker than single moms are to men. and on a physical level the 39 year old man is (and will remain) fertile while the 39 year old woman is getting close to the point of permanent infertility.