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- Apr 12, 2021
Even the usual paid shills are shitting on the Section 31 movie. It must be exceptionally bad.
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Even the usual paid shills are shitting on the Section 31 movie. It must be exceptionally bad.
Well....I only know the partial scuttlebutt of the situation having intentionally been avoiding any news or talk of Nu-trek the last few years because I was getting to the point where the cringe was actively hurting me, but the TLDR of it is that Michelle Yeoh's character is the very literal super hitler from the mirror universe, like straight up "unrepentant and smug orchestrater of mass genocides, gleeful cannibal, had a whole stable of sex slaves she raped on a regular basis" shit being explicitly stated and shown, however she was instantly forgiven and befriended by the protagonist shaniqua of STD (who is also spock's previously unmentioned adopted human sister and the most important person in his and Sarek's life as well as smarter and stronger than them and....ok I will stop now....fuck STD was bad) because her mainline universe variant was her mentor despite still being a very literal super hitler who liked to gloat about it and still do literal super hitler shit, and this was depicted as perfectly moral and heartwarming because STD is an STD. This is before we factor in how all of this was also drenched in woke schtick from the getgo with regards to overt "ORANGE MAN BAD" messaging and crowbarring currentyear xitter lib buzzwords and narratives in every episode.Even the usual paid shills are shitting on the Section 31 movie. It must be exceptionally bad.
so yeah this should be a real fuckin interesting re:view
I watched Drinker's review of it because it was only a few minutes long, and from how he described it, Mike is really going to have to reach if he's looking for something to be positive about. The plot is your standard "crazy guy wants revenge and is going to use a superweapon to do it" plot that yet again rips off Wrath of Khan because that's the only story that hacks like Kurtzman can handle, except this time it's gonna blow up half the galaxy or whatever (remember when Star Trek 2009 said a star going supernova was going to destroy the galaxy? these idiots don't know shit about scale). The tone is all over the place, where half the time they're trying for a goofy Guardians of the Galaxy vibe and the other half they're trying to be edgy and dark. And as mentioned above, when your main character is literally mega ultra Hitler from the Mirror Universe, it's kind of hard to reconcile that character with a wacky tone. The characters are all one-dimensional stereotypes and none of them are interesting, and Michelle Yeoh is too good an actress for this dreck. It is something that should never have gotten off the ground in the first place, and we can only be glad that Kurtzman didn't fully get his way and get an entire series out of Paramount.
Mike, buddy: let it go. Until Kurtzman and his butt buddies are no longer in the picture, Star Trek is simply not worth your time.
Honestly I afford Mike a decent dribble of pity with regards to his desperate Trek hopium after being directly and personally singled out for condemnation by William Shatner out of nowhere, and for the most bizarre ass reasons if memory serves (something about Kevin Smith and trolls and....fuck I cant even memba now).I watched the same review. It really does sound dreadful (and the RT scores have both audiences and critics shitting on it, which is fairly unusual for media-approved franchises these days) and I'm legit curious to see what Mike has to say about it. It's just that I have no faith in his ability to maintain any kind of impartiality when it comes to anything Trek-related.
If JRR or Christopher Tolkien were still alive and actively signed off on it as 1000% canon, and released a statement denouncing me personally for insulting fucking Rian Johnson or some other rando they decided to white knight, my soul would feel as buck broken as Mike's.
Here's the video where they talk about it. Apparently a bunch of RLM fans were pestering Shatner to go on one of their shows, and Shatner thought RLM were the ones doing it. I think, I'm also having trouble remembering it and I don't want to rewatch a 20 minute long video to refresh my memory.Honestly I afford Mike a decent dribble of pity with regards to his desperate Trek hopium after being directly and personally singled out for condemnation by William Shatner out of nowhere, and for the most bizarre ass reasons if memory serves (something about Kevin Smith and trolls and....fuck I cant even memba now).
Jim got a family.Speaking of The Canadians, does anyone know why only Colin shows up and not Jim?
I would be very surprised if Mike cuts it any slack. He gave a more or less glowing review of Picard S3, but even he admitted that they got him on the nostalgiabaiting more than anything. He was extremely critical about basically every part of Picard S1 and S2 past the first episode of each, and was very negative about Discovery S2 as well, and never continued past it. Only in Discovery S1 did he really give it the benefit of the doubt, and even that dried up by the end. He also pretty much dismissed SNW out of hand because the characters all talk like retards.I predict Rich will shit all over it and Mike will marble-mouth his way through to finding some faint positives. Because Rich is a normie and Mike is a diehard Trekkie who can't ever completely disavow his woobie.
Couple minutes in and they are babbling about their commemorative trek plate and casually throwing shit at wil wheaton. Should be some fun depression fodder for the end of my wagie shift.
EDIT: 8 minutes in and both have declared Star Trek dead to them, Mike is cutting it zero slack, and I kinda want to watch it for myself just out of pure masochism.
Who cares about Star Trek there are CHILDREN IN AFRICA who are starving.
Wait hold the phone.....in the literal last minute Mike offered a "it was not quite as fucking stupid as I thought it would be" take based on how unfathomably fucking stupid some shit from discovery was.Welp, looks like I need to find out how long it takes to cook a Shankara stone in an air fryer! (The magma grill is on the fritz since the guy who runs it scored an H1B visa.)
Mike: "If this was a season-"
I love the hell out of RLM still, but I genuinely hope that all new Star Trek sucks forever because of how smug and hypocritical that Acolyte review isWho cares about Star Trek there are CHILDREN IN AFRICA who are starving.
I love Best of the Worst, but I can't watch them anymore. It is not just the Acolyte stuff but holy shit Half in the Bag isI love the hell out of RLM still, but I genuinely hope that all new Star Trek sucks forever because of how smug and hypocritical that Acolyte review is