In addition to Kent's "I wash my nutsack every single day" I'd also like to suggest the following. There don't seem to be enough ADF quotes:
"4CHAN TROLLS ARE NOTHING BUT CYBER-FASCISTS! Have the Ku Klux Klan print goddamn T-shirts for you! You people who sit on your fat asses who prey on people who are not white, Christian, heterosexual, and has a different opinion from your twisted fucked up right-wing ideology! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT NEO-NAZI THUGS!!!!" [ADF sperging at 4Chan obviously]
"I’m a misandrist. I’m a feminazi. I’m a communist. I have an Oedipus Complex. I must be really, really, REALLY fucking evil! – Yeah, fear Chairwoman Harel! You don’t want this monster knocking on your door!" [ADF trying to be edgy and intimidating]
"Denying that I am Female is on par in my eyes of denying the Holocaust." [self explanatory]
"Heads up people, I am going to have to make a fake status here saying somebody opened fire on me in the Temescal section of North Oakland.
I want to scare Kiwi Farms." [In reference to his claim that GamerGate people tried to kill him]
"I threw the first punch." [Admission of hitting his mother]
Also, since there seem to be a few famous quotes, I'd like to add another one which I think sums up lolcows in general very nicely. It's from The Amazing World of Gumball, and it's said by Darwin, my namesake:
"You're just a drop of embarrassment, in an ocean of shame."