random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Crex Crex]

So there's a guy out there whose job it is to literally masturbate female dolphins and pretending he's not some massive pervert and he's doing it for science or something.

Women are faggots.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

It seems the human mind sees a quantifiable score differently than 10 different people telling you you are retarded

I HATE that blurred thing so goddamn much. "Oh I don't want people to see THE PUBLIC EXTERIOR OF MY HOUSE THAT ANYONE WALKING PAST COULD SEE, so I'm going to ask Google to blur it on their map, that way it'll stand out from every other house in the fucking city that ISN'T blurred out, leading people to therefore think about my house and why it's blurred and what I must be hiding inside of it. THAT will be inconspicuous!" You fucking retard. You absolute dogshit cretin. I'm gonna catalogue a list of blurred houses on Google Maps and go on a road trip breaking into them and stealing all their shit. Fuck you

Anything below 75f is for whales or other chunky sea mammals!

One of my favourite things to do on a train journey is when I’m sat opposite some guy in a metal T shirt and I have to figure out what the band name is without asking them.
This has literally kept me amused and mentally occupied for half the west coast line before

I got an immediate warning for calling someone a "wonder bread wop" on /r/thesopranos

It's just a Cyrillic spelling of the Western word "semen". In the Ukraine, Semen is actually a first name and there was a semi-famous Jewish soldier from the Ukraine named Semen Hitler. Wikipedia likes to try and spell it differently in the same way some people try to pretend the planet's name is "your-rann-us" not "your anus", but his name was exactly as in your picture. But with extra Hitler

It'll never be settled since God made both buttocks and breasts in pairs. Had he made one and only one of them in triplets, though, it probably wouldn't be better, since there would be those arguing that asymmetrical motorboating isn't as satisfying versus those arguing that three is better than two.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What a niggerlicious opinion. Thanks Tyquon

Are these real people? They look like if you gave some racist caricature or soyjak to ai and told it to make it realistic. The fucking left one looks like you told an ai to make the pot of greed into a woman.

his bread and butter has always been giant gaping assholes

 

[Eternal Gopnik]

Pedopig wants to be a coastal elite liberal so bad, but he’s a fat rube bum nigger.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I would like to personally thank myself for this outcome

 

[Crex Crex]

So Jack is telling us that a chicken supplier supplies chicken to a chicken restaurant? Give this man a pulitzer prize

There are men who would gladly fuck an anthropomorphized airplane. And men who find worse things attractive, I will remind you.

 

[Cnidarian]

you're preaching to the denizens of the depths of hell rn

 

[Spot 'em Slot 'em]

I keep forgetting that you're a woman because you're funny, but then I remember you're a Jew.

 

[CEO of Gay]

Truly, we are the Autistic Voltron of the Internet.

 

[Haloperidol]

I breed and sell axolotls as one of my many hobbies to keep me from killing myself.

What is the mexican equivalent of a nigger moment? A spic second?

you claim to be hetero nowadays, you can't act like this anymore.

 

[Botchy Galoop]

I hope you consider donating to this wonderful forum that graciously lets you shit all over its achievements at no cost to you, rather than wasting time agonizing over the Perfect Forms of justice that will never exist in physical reality

 

[vomitusdeux]

Nigga do you even know the caliber of posts I make on this forum? Have you not seen the investigations that I have done and information I have uncovered that has been propagated widely? Do you seriously think I'm just another random shit poster?

"Autistic. Pedophile. Communist."

Not since ‘Friends’ with Ross and Rachel has there been such a ‘will they, won’t they’ dynamic, except it’s Anton and these bloody beds of nails.

post or stfu you vagueposting discord transvestite

Went to korea and spent good money for feminine face surgery?! This dude needs to go back there and ask for a refund, cause he looks like the barlady FROM SHREK 2!!!!

Trannies please learn that the silly things you do on the Internet tends to get you punched irl.

He looks exactly how I'd expect a pedophile to look

She should have known that was the elimination balcony.

hehehe suicide

looks like people in China are aware of "Chris Chan":

Post more cute ebony ladies gorging on phallic foods.

Is that fucking Kool-Aid chitlins?

SO glad I didn't come out a nigger in the dice throw of life.

see this is why I don't go around accusing dead people of being the antichrist

But that's just a theory, a gay theory

I think horrorcows need to be a bit more horrific than just a guy who got cucked

Vapes are penises of shaytan

Did Janoids delete our entire intelectual discussion about eating ass and it's consequences for human race?

Imagine getting banned from a fucking gay sex hookup app for uploading a piece of AI art.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I love him but also want to hit him with a saucepan.

I will believe literally anything a guy on a podcast says if it sounds cool enough.

Can’t wait to visit a cemetery, makes me think of where my mom’s headed LOL!

I cannot take these 'daddy dom' RPs seriously when all they seem capable of writing is Donald Trump.

I miss there being, like, a minimum of justice in this shit world.

I want to go to Arkansas and start launching birth control into the Sammieverse with one of those t shirt launchers.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Have I ever said anything anywhere to make you believe I would feel bad for a Haitian killing himself

 

[John Egbert BD]

I'm not trooning out. I'm trooning in.

 

[LimeRikki]

they feel the need to purchase their penis from the Ford Motor Company

 

[Chocolate Starfish]

The United States can remain retarded for a dozen times longer than Canada can remain solvent.

I met a white couple once. Way older guy duying of full blown AIDS with an absolute psychotic GF who fucked him raw dog and knew he had AIDS. They were sorta poly. She fucked other dudes and he knew about it and didn't care because his options were limited DO TO HAVING FUCKING AIDS. I sometimes wish I had ended them right then and there. Met them once. I felt like the girl wanted to fuck me (give me AIDS). Never been into being a bull though.

I'm certain someone on reddit has been therapy bullied into rawdogging an AIDS patient because they didn't want to be an abelist bigot contributing to anti-HIV discrimination.

It's kind of like leafing through the DSM and part of your brain is whispering, "That's youuuu..."

Tie me to a hot water bottle and fire me at the beaver reserve, I am ready.

 

[Autistic Joe]

And so, the raper has become the raped

 

[Gregis]

Sorry my description got less detailed as it went on, my internet was about to go out because of my parents' settings on the router.

 

[Dr. Butt]

rape is aweful and im a man. What man is saying this. That man has probably been raped.