random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Solomon Bundy]

Based Peanut, he single-handedly pissed off the entire sex offender community.

 

[Radola Gajda]

The Vtuber is immunized against all dangers: One may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a man and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: "I’ve been found out".

 

[Gentlebastard]

I hate that he's partially right, because he's an annoying faggot.

All they have to do is pivot from "AI will replace you!" to "AI will replace Indians!" and we'd stop at nothing to ensure the robotopia is achieved.

The answer to all of this is quite simple.

1) Start mining asteroids
2) Build an orbital refinery/gas station
3) Produce rocket fuel in space so we don't have to pay for the Delta-V to bring it up there
4) Start building biodomes on other planets
5) Open up a McDonald's on Mars
6) I forgot what we were talking about

"im helping" she thinks as she records, "THIS IS GOING ON TIK TOK"

(Null is contractually bound not to tell you which IP range is reserved for Wiggarthans in low earth orbit)

By rite of conquest all of Europe must serve their cheese like this .

I misread the title as chess and spent longer then I care to admit skimming the article looking for how cheese played chess. I though it was bacteria moving on a grid of moves or something.

What a pussy. I clicked on the video thinking he was gonna discuss the horrors of a raging truck stop meth addiction - instead he got addicted to over-the-counter poppers?

it's impossible to remove your socks outside the presence of a whore

As it is, he's more of a shibboleth generator. We can recognize ourselves in the wild by the statement and response:

Enjoy Prison.

Stalker Child.

I have some old elementary teachers that would segfault trying to diagram that sentence. I don't think it can be done without hyperbolic geometry.

Do me a favor: never ever use the word "sex" in a thread about Indians ever again. I'm trying to eat here.

Sometimes I wish there was cultural exchange program with Best Korea.

As a Serb it's my duty to hate Croats

I actually think it's encouraging to know that trannies will happily support me being transphobic, if only I want to kill the Jews badly enough.

I guess I have to step up my game.

 

[Secret Boots]

“I’m a second-generation Holocaust survivor, and I have goosebumps seeing this picture.”

 

[PhoBingas]

Link to the og post

 

[Aunt Carol]

Guys, it's OK to write a pedophile provided he's young, virile and hot with squishy pecs. Don't you want a pedophile with squishy pecs?

He's the digital equivalent of a 1920s hobo. When you have nothing to tie you down, no community to come back to or to take accountability from, it's easy to just drift from place to place, doing the same things and drinking yourself to sleep in a new gutter each night. The eternal stranger, the Wandering Lou.

 

[Mound Dweller]

THEY'RE GOONING. FOR HOURS. WITH EACH OTHER. RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE

that's how insidious female sexuality is

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Andre the Giant in drag

Well A&N is party central as always.

You're a gay furry. Come out the closet. It's okay.

I know a jeeta that I want to pin to my floor with my dick. Is that wrong?

I support the Buddhist Jewish Christian Alliance.

God is not Sonichu

Maybe my generation was the last one when pornstars were hot.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

The four horsemen of the apocalypse were actually MLP characters. Saint John couldn't comprehend it with his first century perspective.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I know that Daddy Null dislikes too many nominees in a post, but it was a glorious day for shitposting.

And I got ninja'd by three minutes on the one, but it's great so I won't delete it.

very superficial similarities between them but with an added does of extreme retardation

Shit passes through a sifter as easily as gold as long as the size is right. (I just realized I got the function of a sifter exactly wrong, but I'll be fucked before fixing my analogy)

Null lost, America won.

I'm gonna die alone. You can't stop me.

If you hook them up to a vaginal plethysmograph, you can quantify their knowledge.

Next up: grooming via Google Earth KMZ file export.

Scientists discover water is wet, and that you're racist.

Whenever I come across behaviour I can’t understand, like that of this woman, I just remember that most people are retards. This both helps me sleep whilst giving me nightmares.

Has any other show radicalized more people than My Little Pony?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse were actually MLP characters. Saint John couldn't comprehend it with his first century perspective.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

grooming isnt even really a problem on roblox

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

N'wah please, it's only a slur if it hurts.

That's the beauty of having the freedom to say nigger, it means you can also choose not to.

To put it in lolcow terms, Idubbbz is to Hasan Piker what Minnesota is to California.

Have you screamed a slur at someone today?

Somewhere in america there is a gay racist setting up a photo shoot for his fucking cookies like its going to be in a jcpenny magazine.

Is it true that Josh is a homosexual

To clarify: I am absolutely a part of spreading rumours that Joshua Connor Moon is a homosexual.

 

[neger psykolog]

I guess the future's going to be alright after all, guys. I want to see a politician get assassinated in broad daylight by a guy wearing MLP merchandise sometime. That would be fucking awesome, and hilarious.

 

[babyDunk]

Indian lips are perfectly evolved to suck Merchant poo from tongue deep asslicking.
American lips are perfectly evolved to suck the jujucum from Merchant's front end.

 

[Aunt Carol]

No one wants some skinnyfat dork with thinning hair as their sex slave. Sorry to disappoint you, Tim.

So she was cleaning and deveining ~900g of prawns and it took her THREE HOURS??? What the fuck? How?!

Kiwi Farms is nice because it filters trannies, gooners, and the worst autists (stronger autists will usually not get filtered but then have a thread made on them later).

I thought I was deep enough into this shit to understand but I can't make heads or tails of whatever else you're explaining so I'll just say everyone involved in this story should die.

I actually think it's encouraging to know that trannies will happily support me being transphobic, if only I want to kill the Jews badly enough.

I guess I have to step up my game.

 

[Tablet County]

I don't want to learn how to speak Swahili, or play the digeridoo after a work-filled week, I wanna scream nigger at my computer screen because I'm bad at a video game.

All you other kids with your pumped-up dicks

“True, can you imagine wasting your precious time on God’s green earth on something as frivolous as a video game.” Stanley said, not appreciating the hideous irony of discussing wasted time while posting on a “lolcow” bullying forum.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

I would jump in front of a truck to save my dog, my dog would do the same for me. We have never drank each others' piss.

 

[Gentlebastard]

If had had a heart attack, passed out, and awoke to find that thing leering down at me, I'd probably regret having opened that damned puzzle box.

It gives me "Balkan horrors beyond human comprehension" vibes

This idiot is very, very close to understanding things, yet logic continues to elude him

Ladies, don't you hate when you have to masturbate all the time due to your throbbing, needy penis disrupting your day?

The man is singlehandedly making me a committed believer in eugenics.

This is the kind of felting only God could come up with.

I try to be as creative as possible with my jingoism. It's more fun that way.

 

[Uncle Buck]

I'm gonna have to tell you that that guy is not a fucking lawyer, or leading legal mind, or anybody even remotely serious.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

..and they called it 'Queen of Coal' because they knew it wasn't going to be a gem!