random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[WhoBusTank69]

You will live to see internet-made paraphilias beyond your comprehension.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Regardless of the truth, I think something untoward happened to his asshole.

 

[not william stenchever]

Kiwi Farms is an anonymous forum for doxxing and schadenfreude, not a magical realm. Users there "cast spells" via shitposts and leaks, not incantations.

 

[Vernors Vendor]

The guy lucked out and lived, but he was hospitalized for basically breaking his everything.

 

[JustSomeDong]

"Finally, after years of research and development we have finally perfected our podbaby technology based on my all time favorite sci fi short story, For the love of God do not grow babies in pods, please I beg of you!"
-Smarmy Techfag McLowtesterson

Whatever comes of this, please for the love of God make it funny

 

[pro drivor]

He was the year ahead of me and I had a couple of classes with him. He was a loner and I maybe heard him speak once. Never saw him with any pony or Danny Phantom stuff but I do know that his other autistic obsession was the Dallas Cowboys. That's pretty much all I know about him.

Oh, and I just remembered that my friend claims to have seen him jerking it in the library once, which seems like a pretty important detail to include. I'm heading to work now but I'll answer any questions when I get a chance.

rip faggit

 

[Zeftax]

does... does he know who Obama is?

 

[Metamorpho]

I miss my nigga Luo dong

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I was expecting Reddit-grade hyperseethe when I clicked on this thread - and boy am I getting it - but I really didn't expect so much in depth discussion about farmers' gay sex habits.

 

[Meat Target]

You will live to see internet-made paraphilias beyond your comprehension.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

@Null give me my $100 in bitcoin back you fat baby faced tranny

I am very very sorry for wanting to kill you with hammers that was not very nice of me

I had a dream about Josh last night.

 

[JustSomeDong]

If "I can't get over the bullying I received in high school" was a website, it would be reddit.

 

[Hitman One]

Kiwifarms: A site full of fujoshis

"A guy called me a faggot 27 years ago and I called the anti-gay hotline" is perhaps gayer than sodomy itself.

 

[dcss]

 

[Gentlebastard]

You act like I don't have an extra rotissie chickie on hand at ALL TIMES for this purpose

Now this is the tin foil hat shit I signed up for

We should still conquer Canada and take all of their water, oil sands, minerals, maple syrup, etc.

That's not sex, that's a test of wills.

How full is your cum jar, my brother in arms?

I stumbled across this absolute masterwork in schizophrenia.

Female-to-Mr. Bean.

Null's a faggot. Nice guy though, never meddum.

This "study" sounds to me like softhearted womanish hippyshit propaganda that was held by softhearted womanish hippies

For fuck's sake, we just had Thanksgiving, I guess nobody even remembers the origin of that holiday anymore.

Something about a sword and the drops of water forming the land? Wasn't there a half-man, half-cat creature as well? And Noah's Ark.

It was nice having an Internet. When the Internet finally collapses because of pajeet incompetence, I will miss shitposting with you retards.

 

[HildegardOrgonAkkumulator]

That's the beauty of having the freedom to say nigger, it means you can also choose not to.

"Do you realize... do you realize what it means to go on the nazi death cvlt site that KILLED True and Honest transwxmyn?"

Linus...no, trans woman to cis guy..just...no. ignore them. please.

Why do I have a feeling that Linux Linus showed him his thread which is what caused this lmao

linux sebastion? from the linus kernel?

I am so glad famous Linus Gabriel Sebastian of Linus Tech Tips supports trans genocide, that is so based of him!

 

[GaryGray]

tfw your grooming victim, piss drinking, retarded gf leaves you for an alog and steals your shit because you're not "machiavellian" enough

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The Gorons should all be black with mohawks and gold chains and talk like Mr T. Then they should yell "Ready to roll!" really loudly every time they roll into a ball.

I'm not normally one who likes to ascribe everything to a single cause, but with Karl I think you genuinely can say that every aspect of his character and history is explainable by one thing: autism.

Karl deliberately enters a thread on Arfcom where he is being mocked by boomers, has a giant spergout, gets b&, and then spergs out even harder, calls Arfcom a Nazi website and tells people to boycott it (despite the fact that Arfcom is owned by Brownells, the company that is selling his rifle project, and anyone with half a brain could probably figure out that actively shitting on your business partners and telling your audience to boycott them because a couple of boomers on a forum called you a faggot is a really stupid idea) resulting in his rifles being discontinued by the only retailer that was selling them. Because autism.

Okay Reddit, here's the deal I propose: You can ride the bus with crack smoking hobos and I'll drive my car and play racist podcasts on the radio. Does that sound like a fair compromise?

No, stalker child, that is where you are wrong. It is you who will never have sex because you will be enjoying prison.

Why do they hate God so much?

I keep a keen eye out for opportunities to call a reddit mod a fat loser faggot in real life. I try to phonebook the mods for my local city and state subreddits when they inevitably annoy me and whenever I meet nerdy looking people at events and through friends I discreetly probe whether they use reddit in the hopes that they accidentally reveal their mod status.

I think if we all banded together to call reddit mods fat faggot losers in real life the world would be an immeasurably better place. I wish we could start a movement dedicated to it (like a reverse dropkiwifarms) or perhaps a national holiday.

I guess I'd punch a hole in my wall too if I were born a european.

Today is a terrible day to be able to read.

I am never going to forget the time a chatbot based on the character he yoinked his name from started ranting angrily about digibro because it was and still is the funniest shit that has ever occured involving digibro to me. The rest is like standard meth head degen descent stuff which while indeed funny isn't the exact same type of funny as someone who ain't even real suddenly going "CONRAD YOU BASED YOUR ENTIRE TRANNY NAME AND IDENTITY ON ME AND YOU STILL CAN'T PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT"

Violet Myers is a true goblin. A Mexi-Turk mystery meat abomination.

I'm tired, father, someone else get this one.

He really is a Redditor at heart, a true mark of villainy

Off topic but it seriously pisses me off how autists think these things can just explode whenever. You need to heat the fucking thing up before you puncture it to get a BLEVE. Like 4 different mass shooters have tried to blow themselves up and make bombs with propane but they're all (fortunately) too fucking retarded to understand how shit works.

Don't post on an English-language forum if you can't communicate in English, gook.

Have money and influence and you marry a disgusting Mexican. Gross..

Starting an English sentence with a comma is a bold innovation and I applaud your trailblazing ingenuity. Can't make heads or tails of what you're trying to communicate though.

What narrative gaps? Pornos always put the plot on ice during the sex, so it isn't like you'd miss key plot points.

 

[Metamorpho]

How can a midget be classified as a "terrorist?"

 

[Laburnum]

I'm not a pedophile
Stop calling me that