random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Speedrunner]

Wrong in every detail, stalker child.

He jerks of to drawings of disabled children.

Enjoy prison.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

That’s life. One day your mom is taking Tylenol and the next day in the future, you are trying to think of what sonic the hedgehog figure would fit best inside your asshole and how to speedrun Celeste for the 100th time after taking HRT.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

Being racist is my favorite thing

 

[Aunt Carol]

not even r/PCOS or r/vaginismus are safe from you bepenised dipshits

Thanks 9/11 for giving us this cultural juggernaut.

Life is too short to worry and live in fear of the woke police. Post a cat. Say a slur. Nothing is real anyway.

 

[Delany's Donkey]

I’ve never understood why certain people want to fuck animals so bad. Like genuinely what is it with scum of the earth and their obsession with wanting to put their dicks in dogs?

 

[Aunt Carol]

If the women are racist, the men will follow.

 

[Crex Crex]

No one's fiction has ever had a randomly dropping guillotine parked over the exit of WalMart, chopping guests and terror-soldiers alike whenever it felt like it, sketchy random lion attacks or a conspiracy of the British royal family and screen actor's guild to infiltrate Oregon via an army of Canadian look-alike terror troopers wielding nitrous oxide knockout gas (some of them from tanks stuffed up their ass venting out an anal tube) that can be defeated by flicking your Bic and launching them through the air on their own flaming gas? That shit was better then any 10 Michael Bay movie screenplays!

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Most importantly I will be entertained, which is all I really care about at the end of the day.

 

[Haloperidol]

You are dumb and your posts are bad.

I been selling crack for my weed expenses and it's going well so far

he should sue the melanin off of him

Grow a pair and live you goddamn idiot faggot.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

I found her through a tentacle porn fic she wrote (that I wanted to do for the Fanfiction Horrors thread, but the Joe Biden dialogue really turned me off).

 

[Speedrunner]

GIUS IM IN A FUCKING STRIP CLUB JUST SPENT 5K RUBLES LN A PRIVATE 12 MINUTES HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKIGN AWESOME HER BOOBS I COULD DROWN IN THEM LETS GOOOOOOOOOSVVDRH YEH THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING EVEVNIBG THIS FUCKING WHOLE UEAR LETS FUCKONG GOOOOOOOOOO

Eat HER BOOBS WHOLE NIGGA, EVERY CM OF HER BODY LETSG HOY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME YEAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

PUSSY TOUCHED EVENING WELL SPENT BUT NOW IM BROKE LMAO THAT'S FOR FUTRE ME TO WORRRYYYY!!!

PSA: drunk posting on the kiwifarms is never a good idea

If I were ever this much of an incel where I had to spend 5k to just touch a boobie, I'd kill myself.

@MAAAD: СУКА БЛЈАТ I RIP FAT HOOKA BONG AND SMASH HOOKER BOX!!!! BEST NIGHT OF LIFE ИЛИ ЧТО-ТО....

@BinaricHate: eerm guyys... todya i hda a drem that zoey stomped on my bals an caleld me a pthetic hore

>Pussy touched
>Syphilis contracted

 

[Chandelier]

Once school starts again, another Freak will happen. None of you freaks are gonna see it coming. [...] It's gonna be FREAK SOME. I'll be Freak and Natural Sefreaktion combined. [...] Freaking natural SELfreakCTION. You puny freaks wouldn't get it anyway. Watch out, you bumbling baffreaks at my school. OUTRUN. MY. FREAKING. FREAK.

"Mommy, can I please suck on your tits?”

 

[Gog & Magog]

I don't even get the bitching about the Harkness Test. If I ever go out into space and meet some hot extraterrestrial bitch who is hyperintelligent and down to fuck, I'm gonna hit that.

 

[Ratboy Genius]

Question-
How often does Nool add new random txt phrases?

 

[invisibult plus+]

And everyone stop marking my shit as "dumb" and "autistic", this is borderline bullying for the sake of borderline bullying. Nobody has anything interesting going on in their lives these days, it seems.

 

[Aunt Carol]

As a younger kiwi, I once bought a mod chip so that my PS2 could run bootleg games. When I tried to install it, I ruined my machine. I couldn't have fun with it anymore! I was pretty bummed.

These people are doing that to their own genitals.

uwu-ass orbs

It belongs in a spank museum. The spank Louvre, where it can observed for all time.

There is no excuse for the pathetic sartorial taste of Internet troons.

In fact if you want a definition of a lolcow, "Unsuccessful Sociopath" is a pretty good one.

 

[Pedophobe]

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a brood of pulpy, fetid Kevins, consooming lurid kid product, forever.

 

[FrogMinutes]

Have you considered going to the police instead of asking KF for help?

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Those who complain about gatekeeping are those who the gate is meant to keep out.

Fuck revolutionary communists and their fellow trooned out travelers.

I think it was a step in the right direction because now I know how fucking AWESOME sex and girls are and I want MORE.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What new low is he going to come up with next?

I wish all my customers were as well-mannered as Shoulder Rat.

Yes, it's pretty weird to suddenly bring it up like that. Almost feels like the lead-in to a villain's "That's right, I did it!" speech.