random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Slideshow Bill]

IT’S FINALLY REAL
THEY’RE TURNING THE SON OF GOD INTO THE SUBJECT OF MY FAVORITE SLUR
SLUR OF SLURS, I UTTER THEE!
NIGGERFAGGOT!

 

[MongInTheMirror]

[Sally Shine, AKA: Dollar General Jojo Siwa, stands, meaty fist up, affecting the traditional bathroom blowie motions while holding an institutional sized, club value box of ARAMARK/CHARTWELLS/GFS/NIFDA/SYSCO goyslop. It's unsettling open mouth rictus and bulging eyes reflects the wallpaper sliding perceptively towards the floor while everyone clears the room, marked (unseen) 1408.]

 

[Big Nasty]

Not naming yourself "Tom Marlboro Riddle" is such a missed opportunity

I'm 100% nigger

Yo in that tranny comic why is that retarded niggas dad 30 feet tall and a pajeet?

 

[Cnidarian]

The worst medical illustration ever.
This makes the Voynich manuscript look informative.

At first I rated it "autistic" but thought better as autists can be smart about certain topics.

 

[Gregis]

The whole point of having a low IQ is your not smart enough to do things like remind yourself not to do dumb things, if it was as easy as you say no one would be retarded, retard.

 

[Wright]

Okay. There's Goatse swimming around. I think this is finally broken.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Zero percent of the job is dildo-fucking troons.

I would eventually like to leave my house for a fun purpose.

This guy would fetishize a rock if he could (he probably can, sorry geologists).

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Daily bathing in the blood of newborn ferrets seems to be working for him.

That is the firm cheese under the cum. The cum is either a sauce or ejaculation.

 

[30+GameOvers]

The sektor is just morbidly obese people arguing about who's the fattest

 

[Cholesterol Gremlin]

tl;dr alec kidnaps cy and rapes him in his basement again but this time he almost dies choking on blood and cum. and also he has no limbs. good god.

 

[Overly Serious]

Dude, I can't even make jokes anymore. The universe tells them for me.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

He doxed his dad cause his dad is trying to convince him he's not a troon and that it's a phase, and his dad is an even more terminally online reddior than him.

The most fascinating piece of information is that the entire Nation of the Nederan Empire is MARRIED to West Virginia.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I hope to last long enough/be rich enough upon death that it would be affordable to launch my body into a high orbit when I die, so I may not need the mortician's touch. Vacuum should preserve me just fine until my orbit eventually decays and I get the most badass cremation of all by atmospheric friction.

Space cremation as your corpse bears witness to the world decaying is metal as fuck, and I'm jealous I didn't think of it first.

I saw something gross and now you have to too.

Oh Jesus Christ what have I done. I was told to use my powers for good, and this is what happens. I'm hanging up my robe and wizard hat.

Well, if there's a bright side in all of this at least he finally showered and shaved.

Mr Beast isn't a person anymore he's just a caricature of unchecked corporate consumerism manifested into reality

 

[PhoBingas]

"bent-dick energy."

 

[The Un-Clit]

The next time you pick up the fork, please think of your future mortician.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Creeping on a 23 year old nothing. He's a Astrology/Tarot true believer.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Apparently hormones turn you from a man to an ugly man in a shitty dress.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

I guess the TV was telling me to use my imagination.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

Some people go to the gym to feel more masculine, I go to the fucking rock store and eat gems instead.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Who else will be more loyal to you than the entity that only exists in your mind?

Oak tress are considered holy in paganism and are considered perfect for conduits to harness magic. You're the professionals; you should know this.