random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[neger psykolog]

We used to kill people for double posting. We used to be a proper forum until we got election rapefugees like you fucking up the place.

 

[indomitable snowman]

You're just jealous of my future ice farm.

Leaded gas tastes sweeter like the paint chips in the old houses.

I guess he stopped "choosing to be straight"

Who made the the stupid policy to air lift fatties? Everyone knows you don't air lift fatties, you roll fatties, you roll them, you roll them right into the sea so they can become their true selves, to become the whales they've always meant to be.

Null could do it. That said, please don't bother him about it

 

[Tablet County]

Bro can you turn off the animal snuff film, you're scaring the hoes

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

I wish my real penis was teal or midnight purple.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

Null removed his socks slowly, one by one, as his moribund feminine feedee could only watch. The smell entered her nostril, and had reached her brain by the time it had traveled to enter the other. Her mouth was watering, and only one thought crossed her mind:
European cheese.

You remember the rancidity.

If you can't remember, you imagine the smell

If you can't imagine, you contemplate the aroma

If you can't contemplate, you philosophize the funk

If you can't philosophize, you ruminate on the reek

If you can't ruminate, you ponder the perfume

If you can't ponder, meditate on the musk

If you can't meditate, envision the essence

 

[Tablet County]

Right at the beginning of Black Widow, there is a flashback to Natasha Romanov and her sister as children. There is a whole moment in that flashback which is supposed to be dramatic and moving, where her sister drops her My Little Pony toy.

But it's specifically a My Little Pony toy from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, which came out in the 2010s and had a completely different art style from the period appropriate incarnations of My Little Pony.

And it's the most irritating thing fucking ever to me, because the only reason I fucking immediately noticed it was because there was an embarrassing and disturbing amount of young men online in the 2010s who were seemingly completely unable to contain the fact that they really, really, really wanted to have sex with cartoon horses.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Broke: God is dead

Woke: God is a rapist

Old but very funny.

 

[Markass the Worst]

I’ve personally seen what the FBI has on me

 

[Aunt Carol]

Your bigoted view of brunch makes you literally Hitler.

Maybe the cure to male loneliness is "Kiwi Farms".

Like listen, look here look listen, I am like Doctor Fucking Manhattan I am experiencing all possible futures pasts and presents at once in this moment and nigga nobody should ever put on the dress. The risk is too great because even if the chance of trooning out is slight the gamble is catastrophic due to those consequences, we got to stop doing this for content bro the mustache was bad enough the dress would be another level my man.

 

[part timer]

The thread is dead, and so is the hate mob that followed along with it. GGs.

Give up and stop wasting your time "looking into me".

 

[XaXaSt0rr]

I have nothing to do with or resemble Chris Chan.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

So if we want more women to read our shitposts we need to make them erotic?

I sensually put on my blue robe and wizard hat...

Either the whole thing or just the last part.

 

[Oliver Onions]

He's less fat than I thought he'd be but also way gayer and poorer.

 

[neger psykolog]

I know it doesn't happen, but it's very funny to imagine a random wrestling fan clicking on this show expecting wrestling discussion and getting 90 minutes of the younger fat host telling the 45 year old melting man host that he is concerned about his future and asking why he is calling women sluts online.

 

[Pedophobe]

I’ve had multiple people show up to my house due to EVE Online.

It doesn't matter what he does. Eventually it will be on KF. It is inevitable.

Until that happens, laugh at the funny, mock the bad, and applaud the good.

Good Lord look at her feet. Who the fuck sits like that?

He flips between victim complex and power fantasy so fast it's hard to tell if he's about to cry or declare war.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

This dude is in a fantasy reality. In his mind he is a rapper, music producer, artist, video producer, satirist, comedian, polyglot, equal rights advocate, public figure, social media influencer, architect, 90 IQ genius, etc.

In real reality, he is so retarded that he gets a monthly disability check. He sits at his parent's home gooning to amputee children & playing with Legos.

 

[Preacher ✝]

I wish I where a smarter man

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

less of a harmless gossip site and more of a repository for the most horrendous things to ever touch an Internet connection

forged in the fire of child sporting events

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with taint goo and amhole mucus." -- Albert Einstein

WWIII will be fought with powerwords, especially the devastating SIR.

Smellable.

-*Grabs gun* "Butthole's haunted."

Fitting a whole family into a small box is more of a geometry problem than a moral one.

Racist against prawn crackers. How can you raise a child without prawn crackers? You can't, that's just basic biology.

I don't think hosting animal pornography is in the interests of the site.

 

[Chieftain Coke Peanut]

Yeah I like to cum in the shit and let it fester for like a week so a shit golem forms and then I flush it down and watch it struggle and squirm

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

In DBZ, the Saiyan race gets taxes put on them by a superior white space alien. Gohan is a little Saiyan boy who gets tariffs placed on him, so he gets angry and dyes his hair blonde to fit in. This doesn't work, and he is anally violated by a bugman. Just like Canada.

"THIS IS JUST LIKE MY JAPANESE FIGHTING SHOW!!!!"

We argued about this before on stream and I feel like I was an inch from a ban, there is no changing his mind.