random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dammit Mandrake!]

@CaddestSlown this was a nice little moment.

 

[The Spoils of War]

I am not angry.

I am bolding to show you how stupid you are.

 

[obsdj]

Powerfuk.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

It used to be you'd actually have to pay to go to a sideshow and see freaks like this.

But now in current year, it's free! They'll actually pay for Internet access to let their freak flag fly.

 

[Crex Crex]

he is nigga rich like Notch

 

[Ken Barlow]

Grow up and get a thicker skin.

 

[IKOL]

I sincerely wish to astrally project myself back in time just so I can visit myself in late 2001 just to whisper in mine own ear "you will live to see Shrek raped before your eyes...."

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Actually all three trooned out but 66% of all transgender ogres commit suicide.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I blame the rotpocket for breaking my concentration.

 

[2SLGBQTIA+ 2 Furious]

I feel all my love and life being drained out in real time. The childhood magic is gone, goodbye World. #NotmyShrek.

 

[CallmeCicada]

the pure fun of cyberbowling these fucking crippled troon scum!

 

[The Spoils of War]

This is the actual death of comedy.

 

[Law]

Look, I am so tired of this but science has already researched this topic and larger dicks get just as hard as smaller ones.

 

[Gentlebastard]

God fucks in mysterious ways.

Judging by his holocaust POW camp musical number, this film would be really fucking funny.

Always remember, no matter how down bad you are in life, you'll never be a subcontinental.

People would enter a contest to marry a rotting dog's carcass if it got them onto a shitty reality tv show.

He humorlessly plods toward sex like a robot vacuum cleaner vacuuming up debris

It is legitimately impressive, in a "watching a retarded drink an entire can of paint" way

You can't hammer a piece of shit into a diamond.

I'd like to point out that he got a D+ in a problem solving course. A year prior it was a C+

Say what you will, but when I'm out in the hood using ATM at night, I know one thing I'm not looking out for: The nazis.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

He died how he lived. Pure cancer.

 

[CaddestSlown]

I, for one, am enjoying a cup of cafe bustelo right now, brewed strong, with a pinch of sea salt, and blacker than Old Coalie's ass.

Clickbaiting faggots deserve to be raped by packs of feral niggers

Half of us are retards and the other half are autistic. Please explain for those of us who can't be arsed to parse legalese.

Please read the fucking room, I'm begging you.

Half of you niggas clearly don't know how to think like a criminal and it shows.

No. I'd rather fuck an electrical socket.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"Tampons are not just for women. They are also for regular guys.... like me. And for the record I don't like to have sex with other men, but there would totally be nothing wrong with it if I did."

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

best known for his obsession with children's underwear

 

[cherrysour]

I now drive a Toyota, and people flip me off for Pearl Harbor. And anime.

"My retarded kids are why I have to do shit, and if it weren't for that I'd be able to sit on my ass playing Skyrim 14 hours a day buck naked."

a man wearing a ridiculous frilly dress is funny

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

That girl who flashed her tits in that teen comedy movie died? Well that's going to be a guilty fap from now on..

Do you like your lolis with or without arms? Because there is a right answer.