random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[UnsufficentBoobage]

God bless that big, daft, humanoid orange.

This mildly grinds my gears because the real dude is in fact not Phil Collins

The dogs in my neighborhood that bark everytime they're outside. Ruins playtime with my dog because I have to bring her back inside so she doesn't join whatever conversation the neighborhood dogs are having.

 

[The Spoils of War]

You guys should never fuck with me.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Leonardo da Vinci was a gay nigger

i'm okay with allowing extreme kinks to be discussed in this thread

faggots lusting after couchcuck 2.0 here are stacking necrophilia on pedophilia.

Never change, niggers.

How the hell is it that like half of the thread's posters were friends with this schizo?

What type of retard talks about their porn preferences on Kiwifarms?

when there's room for much more things to discuss without having it be filled with images of genitalia.

Wasn't doing that vice documentary about how the Brazilians have sex with donkeys as a rite of passage

The penis is the eternal opportunist.

It wants you to think of your computer the way a normal, non-vore man thinks of his woman's digestive system.

Elon Musk is pretty much the Genghis Khan of autistic retards.

From my brief stint as a sexologist in my late teens, it's usually due to childhood trauma.

Do not try gaslighting me over fucking pretzels of all things

And you immediately decided it was the GMO pretzels that did it?

That's inflation. Get your kinks right.

I know I'm a gay Jew.

"Oi ya loik that, Juftin? Ya loik watchin' me cornhole ya woif wif me Bri'ish Broadcaftin' Corporation?"

This was just a spaz writing a longwinded advertisement for their airBnBs with Ayn Rand as bait.

Disney has way more profitable IPs then fucking Holes.

Disgusting degenerate. People like this force me to look around and ask myself how many people are loaded with vibrators and ass plugs all the time.

Captain planet burger sex bots

A roughly half-pound chunk of metal and plastic traveling up your anus at ~4 fps is some brutal shit.

Nice going muddling up historical survival cannibalism cases... NERRRDD!

Nigger how do you get bullied for a 5 foot dyke mexican

Bro why the fuck theres FATAL thread!? Man i love the farms

Why the fuck is there product placement in this police briefing about horse fucking?

I socialize with people who know me because I teased a retarded man while wearing a pickle suit 15 years ago.

There will be porn of it and you can count the dicks yourself.

Aren't you the guy who jerks it to dinosaurs?

Autistic good, autistic evil

then bred to be a taxpayer in the least luxurious, most violent cloaca gentium urban environment possible

All well and good, but how do we get these demographics to have sex?

I haven't been this popular since my Steve Buchimi porn.

He should have talked his ex and current skank into being lesbian fart whores.

faggots young and old

Ah, yes... Gay sex. The most integral gameplay element of video games in the 2020's.

Why are so many people afraid of the man who wants to fuck Lucario and pretends to be Christian

Justinian was no saint, but his wife Theodora was hot as fuck. She's probably the one woman in history I'm attracted to via mosaic.

I wish I had a cum vampire

TLDR: A bunch of gay people had a slapfight.

You date black women to seem progressive
I date black women because I'm racist

We are not the same.

I don't think this brief bout of morality included strip clubs.

A user named "Generic Anime Girl" is actually a girl? I find this deeply upsetting, what the fuck bros.

Why are they so afraid of recordings of MLK Jr fucking whores and yelling about how he's not a nigger tonight?

Show us on the doll where you touched your uncles butthole .

Didn't you already do this? Posting pictures of asian women and calling it your magnum opus?

You shouldn't post on the farms while jacking off, retard.

I have a sub to the NYT for the cooking section, and I so badly want to go to this story and pozload my negholep.

I was listening to fucking Sargon in High School. Kill yourself fag.

 

[CallmeCicada]

See you crying in the streets when Null is sued and Kiwifarms shuts down for good.

 

[Spectate]

I was laughing until I got to the amputee fetish art.

 

[invisibult plus+]

if weird porn is enough to get you spouting fascist dogwhistles then maybe its a you problem

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Every once in a while it is good to be reminded that Discord people are in fact not people.

 

[Harvey Danger]

Judging by his holocaust POW camp musical number, this film would be really fucking funny.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Grima Spermtongue

 

[Spectate]

I’m no longer neg rating anymore, if you say something dumb, I’m just going to make a kill list

 

[Gravemind]

Corrected "epussy" to "pussy" for you

 

[YellowIsACoolColor]

If someone's gay behavior is so gay you can detect it from the neighboring residence no one should be blamed for hoping the gay palace of gayness burns down.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Meeting a hot porn star at Walmart would be pretty cool.

She could have just bought some fruit and pissed innit at home and sold it like a normal whore but nooooo

Did ancient China have furrys and trannys? I bet like, some dude in Giopingdingfong was sending wooden blocks with drawings of eunuchs dressed as cats to random teenagers in the village.

If it did, there'd probably be another obscure entry in ancient Chinese history about how a citizen spurred a million casualty campaign replete with baby eating and copious rapes against a standing dynasty because someone wouldn't have sex with them.

Personally, I love these crazy bastards, and my younger self would take a much more active role in the beating of this particular pinata you made yourself into. I like me some candy.

Damn. I need to post more hateful comments.

Hell turns out to be surprisingly funny.

 

[Gravemind]

WHAT DOES THE GENIE WANT

I think red means he's learning fire magic

 

[Rembrandt]

(hex code: #FFFDD0, optional if you want to make the header into the color of coom)

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

The Dahmer rape fanfic was an exceptionally hard downturn as far as hobbies go.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I guess winter is over and killing time has began.

 

[neger psykolog]

These threads were better before Neger came back

Negers always ruin everything once they take over.

 

[WonderWino]

Honey, I did lines of blow with "Lucifer" while living with a scientologist who drove a party bus for a limo service operating out of a trailer park in Portland.

Are you just pretending to be naive?

Guys, thanks for making me think I'm important

 

[CaddestSlown]

Deep dish pizza is not pizza and you deep dish fags can suck my deep dick.

what does faggy round pizza have? you can fold it?

It’s a casserole. And calling it pizza is no different than claiming a transvestite is a true and honest woman.

Detroit Style Pizza is king.