random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Lords Greatsword]

This is a gossip forum where you have someone who poured liquid nitrogen onto themselves. If you're expecting high intellectuals here, you're sorely mistaken.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

and I remember thinking at the time it might be a tranny.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

I ran out of milk for my coffee, I suspect Styx's chaos magic is responsible.

 

[Rotollo 2]

Oh, and there's no videos of Nixon sucking cock.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

All these effortposts about Satanism have convinced me more than ever that it's just a LARP for mentally stunted misfits and not a serious religion.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Sarah Mclaughlin playing in the background, Russ crying with a voice over saying "Just for 10 cents a day, you can give a gimp faced bitch an ounce of pussy for a month. Will you donate today?"

Its also very irksome that they spell it ya'll. If you're gonna culturally appropriate do it right at least!

My phone keyboard is sometimes suggesting words ima and finna please make it stop.

My hobby is drinking all day and fighting with people on the internet.

he's scared to release any new music because people leave bad reviews and email him pictures of Hitler

She made her own hell and constructed her own flesh prison one chicken tendie at a time.

I’d take Libertarians with Asian wives annd fat white women with baby daddies over anyone who marries a Canadian.

Anyone who's had a special ed friend can relate. Nobody but us. If you fuck with the retard, the gang beats you.

Can someone put this in fortnite terms?

All women want flowers all the time. Hell if I know why, but they absolutely do.

Every time I see this it cracks me up. They look like a real life Dick Tracy rogues gallery.

Nothing he's ever done has made an ounce of sense but in his twisted misshapen head it does and that's all that matters to him.

Cast iron is definitely something you should bring with you when camping. It can take the heat and if necessary use it against bears as a weapon.

If I'm having to use cast iron against a bear instead of my big iron, I've officially fucked up as a 'murican.

Windows XP is a guilty pleasure of mine. When I boot it up, my penis gets a little erect.

 

[Nervou$Cracker]

one time i did a goonsesh so long and so vile god zapped me with lightning in my own home

 

[Tablet County]

I have seen Chinese men and women do the hands behind their back thing. And the only person I’ve ever seen do that was Morpheus in The Matrix when he was in his “ideal” outfit in the matrix, being all confident and shit

 

[I'm a Silly]

In the middle of the night and fat as fuck.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't give a damn about 'fatphobia' your pedophilia is a problem.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Autism, Cancer, HIV, and the Detroit Lions are punishments for the Industrial Revolution.

The Detroit Lions are a perfect example of the Punishments of the Industrial Age, because it is Cancer, Aids, and Autism.

The opposite of autism (high IQ / low EQ), or the woman version (high EQ / low IQ), is called Williams syndrome, and it's basically like being a human golden retriever: super friendly and excited to see everyone even if it's been like 5 minutes. Litrully a Tard Wife.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

We'll be safe from organized crime, and Dragon Ball Z will be mandatory in schools, but unfortunately the furry scandal means we won't be getting a second term.

 

[Cryptosporidium 136]

I should’ve known something was suspicious when he said “shout out to the girls with the big ass dicks” verse …

 

[JustSomeDong]

This thread is a great place for my pictures of dead rats.

 

[Tablet County]

What is this retarded zoomer speak

Don’t crash out at it cuh

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

If we're lucky, he'll exhaust himself into working on his new writing project.

His fucking suicide note.

this image made me a eunuch I will never cum again

Anakin's real mother is a strong, black lesbian witch who didn't need no man.
Darth Vader is just one more thing whites stole from african dispora.

HEY EVERYBODY MY NAME IS MARK HAMILL, AND I'M A GLOWNIGGER BITCH WHO LOVES TO SUCK OLD DEMOCRAT GIRLCOCK AFTER DISNEY RIPPED MY BALLS OFF! MAY THE FAGGOTRY BE WITH YOU!

*EXPLODES INTO A CLOUD OF RAINBOW GLITTER SHAPED LIKE A DICK IN A CHILDS MOUTH.*

Has the power of the Yidsney cult fallen so much that the workers now realize how shit working for the mouse really is?

Why do I have a feeling a sarlacc's "second mouth" is its vagina?

Reminds me of sleeve, which reminds me of that American Idol washout who had a sex tape like 15 years ago because someone said her saggy vagina looked like a wizard's sleeve

Why is this in my quotes? Ain't wrong though.

This is bad post that makes me doubt your intelligence.

Shaking her ass and floppy titties and speaking into an autotuner accomplished nothing. Lol.

Schrodinger's Incels.

A small group of basement dwelling chuds that dont matter and no one listens to while also being a legion of trolls that can convince giant corporations to shit-can something incredibly beloved and profitable.

I know this thread has been 3070 pages of fuck disney, but man fuck disney. They ruined everything.

I was not aware of this, I am not pleased by this information. May you suffer for your crimes for the rest of your days.

B. Frank was a smooth pimp who loved the pussy.

A protocoomer, yes. But he had social skills (and a granny fetish)

Hamas had a children's show that taught Palestinian children all about the glories of martyrdom and the wickedness of the eternal jew.
This show had a Mickey-Mouse Donut Steel called Farfour.
Farfour was killed off in an episode because Disney's lawyers threatened Hamas - a real, active terrorist organization with a high body count and guys willing to die violent deaths for their cause - with legal action.
Hamas caved to Disney's Legal Team.

 

[Meiwaku]

I just love knowing there's moms and grandmas shitposting here. Makes me smile everytime, so fucking wholesome.

I don't know why I am surprised, but please take into account that the thread is called "US Politics General 2" not "let's debate the Holocaust for the 1000th time this week"

Have you ever noticed how the 45th and the 47th President are never in the same room?

you are blackpilling
Africa is literally gonna collapse due to nigger aids and you are blackpilling

Progressives and soys trying to convince me on immigration with price raising arguments greatly underestimate my bigotry.

I have no more semen for cumming.

If a white man has to pick a strawberry today, tomorrow he invents the strawberryfucker9000 or he decides fuck those berryjews and eats something else instead.

when you ask yourself "what what would jesus do?" it's important to remember that flipping tables and chasing people with a whip isn't out of the question

Possibly my favorite quote ever^

 

[CallmeCicada]

You say I'm federal property of white people? You're property of the Jews and your own cock proves it.

https://embed.kiwifarms.st/profile-posts/592877/

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

make it really late and really heavy like my ex's period

I can almost guarantee Stephen Hawking never got MATI over centaur tracing.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

I swear, I’m not retarded. I’m just a zoomer.