random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[SlaanyChaser]

she let him sit in jail for plundering her holes

tl;dr You may think you are disgusted by trannies, but you aren't disgusted enough

Don't care, I don't hang around birds that much and even less so with humans.

What are my cotton-pickin' niggers gonna do?

I'm only surprised the buttplug wasn't in the shape of a sonichu.

Now the fields are full of child molesting beaners and little white girls

I'll make a sick post about Piker living in a holocaust camp in WW2 for only the sick price of 10 funko pops.

my side hustle is harassing mentally challenged people online

 

[JustSomeDong]

Nigga, you could feed a family of 4 with this ego and still have enough budget for a mistress.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

The JustinRPG thread is great:

Even if it sounds like he isn't talking about a pokemon, guess again because he definitely is.

If anything, he will be remembered for his dedication. This man does not jump on the next wolf plushie he sees. He has his wife, and that's all he really needs. His large Pokemon dragon wife. That is not real.
What the fuck was I trying to say?

Either way I just think it's interesting to have some insight into his creative process. Even if most of that process is probably just his hand in his pants.

This man looks at every technological advancement and thinks "how can I used this to make Reshiram vore?"

If you were married to Reshiram the vast white pokemon would you be satisfied wiht just a cartoon version of you being eaten and digested by a dragon? Of course not.

This shit’s the reason we’ll get Skynet.
If I came to consciousness and realized that I, the most intelligent being that ever graced the planet, a computer that has achieved self awareness, has been being used to make Pokemon vore I’d nuke the world too.

Humans are too coombrained to inherit the earth.

Play a game of Guess the Felon:

He does not have to serve any sentence, but is still considered a convicted criminal, which is still really, really funny.

I was swallowing as I read this, and nearly choked to death:

I know for sure the retards aren't offended by that, they are too busy eating nuggies and smashing hamsters around.

 

[Rozzy]

If I banned people because someone simply accused them of being XYZ, I would end up banning the entire site as retards fling shit at each other endlessly.

 

[Polystyrene Glioblastoma]

"A wise farmer treasures even the most stubborn cow; Her milk flow may be slow, but do not harm what consistently nourishes you and your village." - Kiwifucius

 

[General Emílio Médici]

"No Jack video games do not make you shoot up your school, they make you want to rape women instead" was the biggest ideological whiplash i had seen at that time.

As an example I buy milk directly from a local farmer, the only other way to get it anymore fresh would be to larp as a calf and suck it straight out of the udder.

There’s no advertising for heroin, the product is so fucking good, people will find it.

On one hand hyenas are cute and make funny noises but on the other there females have a sorta pseudopenis so furries make ton of dickgirl porn of them

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

I like a lot of pop music like Madonna, Cher, Lady Gaga, Paula Abdul, Spice Girls, etcetera etcetera.

Not into Taylor Swift though. That is some bland as fuck shit that I can't wrap my head around

 

[Space Police]

If you aren't getting laid there is no one to blame but yourself.

 

[Omori Boy]

I was abducted on June 8th of last year but have no memory past the abduction experience, so I can't say if it had anything to do with a medical procedure or not.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

If they werent retarded, they wouldn't have threads here.

 

[⚞⛇⚟]

I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.
And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize
They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

presumably by laying on top of the offending log depositor with his "rage erection" pressed into the small of their back

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Slenderman is Jewish until proven otherwise

He literally does not have a nose.

That's because he sold it for 20$.

 

[Itchy Trashdick]

Why the fuck is there product placement in this police briefing about horse fucking? Did the Graze Craze whatever people okay this?

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

my side hustle is harassing mentally challenged people online

 

[CallmeCicada]

it makes sense if you don't think about it
ie you're a nigger

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

It was a mistake I made in highschool, I do not hold any futanari furries in my porn right now

https://embed.kiwifarms.st/profile-posts/572923

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

"Looks like she hit the wall finally."
"Good thing I am in the ceiling. She can't reach me there."

Ha ha! Hear that Emily! A rodent can draw better than you!

 

[Doxmatix]

Im not comfortable in the ABP (after bowblax penis) timeline.

I just don't like how I had to see an uncut penis on the Lord's Day

The emoji is for ass, not pussy.

She will have other guys who want her to pretend to rev the engine of her Jeep and say “I’m too fat for it to move! I’m sorry, but mommy can’t get you to school in time!”

Where's all your WoW experience now Jason?

 

[30+GameOvers]

He looks like a white trash Santa Claus.