random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Windy Moors]

These are the conclusions I come to when a man is torturing his partner for hours by playing a bad rendition of Axel F, over and over and over again.

 

[Omori Boy]

Shitbag! Fuckface! You lookin at me? You talkin shit at me? I don't see anyone else around. You must be talkin' to me you bitch ass munchkin homo.

I just teleported behind you. I bet you didn't expect that.

And now, my axe, it's coming right down on your gay pussy skull! Didn't expect that did you?

Your brains are now dripping down on my axe.

You'd be regretting pissing me off. But you can't. Because you don't have a brain any more.

TOTAL VICTORY!

 

[Nigger Caviar]

Edit: I thought she was 18 when I wrote this. I take back what I said.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I'm not usually one to point out Jews, but you could get a whole minyan of attorneys with the email address jginsberg@lawfirm.com.

Joshua "Hitler Diddy" Moon

 

[Max Caulfield]

Your kid was already sucked.

 

[invisibult plus+]

It feels like people are hitting me when I'm thinking something silly but no one can read minds that's illegal.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

This just in, kiwifarm users are in fact NOT people. Further tests needed to determine what they actually are.

Faggots. We're Faggots.

 

[stupid frog]

Ignore all the fruit site monster lying about there involvement, know they are all around you. You cannot trust anyone whether they claim to be a liberal, trans, gay, a journalist, a furry, a tech worker or a trans-snake know they could be a farmer just waiting to farm you. We will not stop until our bullying puts you on the scoreboard we are anonymous we are legion we do not forget we do not forget. We have over 9000 doxxxxxers and there all harassing trannys

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

You know, you could've just said tomboys and left it at that and not describe the plot of the last hentai you watched.

I could've, but I didn't.

15 is young, fuck me

Shadow the Hedgehog from upcoming movie Sonic the Hedgehog 3, that molested her?

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I don't need to defend anime but I like attacking people for little to no reason.

 

[The Morning Visitor]

It’s so weird how many people suddenly become an expert in the field they’re arguing, once people start disagreeing.

 

[Billy Hargrove]

The Troon's Gambit:
Children never get gender surgeries.
And when they do, it's life-saving healthcare and complications and regrets are very rare.
And if regrets and complications do happen, they're not that bad.
And if they are really bad, well, that's what they signed up for with informed consent.
And if their consent was misinformed, the surgeons still did their best.
And if your phalloplasty dick falls off, you deserve it for not centering trans women of color.

 

[Hitman One]

I'm gender liquid. It's like gender fluid but more specialer.

 

[Maki Harukawa]

all will be okay. i am working on edits. and nikolas talbott is going to fucking dye. dont worry

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's like watching a pavement roller get rolled out by an even bigger pavement roller.

I do find it comical that your options now include Freddy Krueger, Sadako, the Xenomorph, or a Shaniqua with a shitbull. All equal levels of terrifying lol

Tl;dr: please take a 1-way trip to the Congo and burn your passports it would be so fucking funny.

This senseless tragedy has been brought to you by our sponsors at lolcow dot farm.

those damn nuclear trucks just look too fucking juicy for their own safety and highwaymen can't resist their allure

If you're going to show us /pol/ schizoposting, at least thumbnail it.

A little bit of radioactivity is okay, as a treat.

Awesome, I have to delete more social media accounts and this will give me the drive to do so.

"do not eat the glow in the dark sparkle powder!"

You aren't a doctor. Don't tell me what to do.

I can't believe nobody wanted rat bagels.

That boy will wreck anyone's shit for a baconator.

"I have decades of experience identifying planes in the sky"

Yes, I know I do this too well. Yes I am concerned.

He will seriously look at a picture of Trump in an armchair and smugly think to himself ‘you know who else used to sit in chairs?’

"Well you only stabbed him a little bit, so we're going to let you go with a warning."

Hey I never said anything about Buck Breaking. That's not a fetish, that's a storied southern tradition.

"This isn't a political position this is literally just your fetish and I know for a fact you were jerking off while typing this post."

If they weren't meant to be bullied, then why is it so fun to bully them? lol.

Always good to have more details about this delightful Hell on Earth.

Either way the exposed testicle is key.

furries are never cockroaches, naked moles rats, proboscis monkeys, tapirs, or bacteriophage escherichia virus T4s

I said it before and I'll say it again: Every anti-natalist that hasn't killed himself yet is just a poser

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

I went to bed every night wishing I woke up with cancer

 

[Dr. Butt]

SEETHE YOU BRICK-HEADED CHOONK

"Thank you trannies for threatening to skin and eat my wife and children, I have now completely changed my mind about thinking you are mentally ill and now think you are totally normal!"

 

[chalkyresidue]

Bro he’s standing right there

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Stare too deeply in lolcows and you will eventually become one...

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

As an experienced rancher who has a herd of one housecat, I believe the solution is for the government to give me massive payouts and subsidies so that I can ranch my herd more sustainably. It is very upsetting when my herd eats grass from my growing field and throws it up on the good rug.

I could perhaps double the size of my herd with such subsidies to two heads of cat, and do so in an environmentally friendly manner while protecting the integrity of the good rug.

Billionaires are playing with a money scheme backed by technolovecraftian magic (he doesn't understand crypto) that will financially unify the world's most evil Russian supervillains (he watched some Austin Powers movies while hungover) into a concrete fascist overthrow of liberalism for eternity. It's here and now that you must HOLD THE LINE (tweet about Trump looking like the bad guy from Back to the Future) or else all is lost. RESIST. REBEL. FIGHT. BACK.