random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Counterfeit Obol]

What about my Angry? My dear sweet lil' ol Angry ain't no issue.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

i do NOT NEED MEDICATION. for the LAST. FUCKING TIME

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

please stop with your somnoterrorism

 

[BirdUp]

Wrong as always baby infant atalker child. I don't use toilet paper. Enjoy prison.

Incorrect as always, stalker child. Every tweet is measured and purposeful. Each word is chosen with care. Language is one of Rick's many weapons, it's just the one he chooses to use most often. He'd spend too much time getting murder charges dismissed on self-defense grounds if he gave the terrorists what they deserved and that's a pine box.

Carefully, slowly; your words, motivations, your very psyche are dismantled by Fatrick's eloquent prose. His mind is a laser beam of focus when he tweets. One that burns through your lies with ease. Wait for the knock and don't forget to update your location when you're sentenced to the federal pen.

You will be told many thousands of times that you're a natural, stalker. Enjoy compliments, child.

 

[Pedophobe]

I have no real evidence to support this, but I'm also 100% sure I'm right.

Make better life choices, and you won't have to remind yourself to smile, it will just come naturally

Its like fight club but with more autism

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Does the 2nd ammendment cover weaponized autism?

 

[AltisticRight]

dessert is food because i can eat it

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

please stop with your somnoterrorism

Zoey and Elaine
Sittin in a tree
K I S S I N G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a retard baby-oops it was a miscarriage

*taps on the glass of zoe's enclosure*

 

[Spud]

My "best friend" was a SoundCloud rapper up until the dude was thrown into court for statutory rape.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

If Kiwi Farms existed pre-Internet it would be one of those weird zines you have to purchase at porn shops.

he spent $500 on getting doxxed

turned child molestation into an ARG

Yes IIRC he suffers from a medical condition called "really liking crack cocaine"

It was a very beautiful wedding but lacked Ferengi.

this guy is earnestly arguing with someone named "Rabbi Shlomo Racemixer"

I got a rain fetish from an episode of the pink panther where he was harassed by a sentient cloud and I havent found anybody else in or out the fandom with that specific fetish.

I didn't call bugs bunny a pedophile cartoon. He made that shit up out of nowhere lol

Maybe he can use his god powers to un-rape himself.

Why does Australopithecus have the exact body shape of a bulldyke lesbian.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Who'd want walkable cities, if you can have fuckable cities?

His brain shows up in his food. Canned chicken is the closest in consistency to his brain.

If we don't buck break him into speaking like a fucking Enid Blyton character we will have failed as farmers.

Apparently the thing that makes a person really racist is not ignorance, but actually being around members of the race in question.

CJOCO, the Chief JO Crystal Officer

He's been in Hell all along, and he just hasn't realized it yet. Oh well; he has an eternity. The best cooking is low and slow.

Spoiler: nsfw

"I am developing an intense raceplay addiction."

It's easier to fit Patrick S. Tomlison through a regular sized door than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.

That is the gnarliest tranny hairline I've seen in a while holy fuck

 

[Dr. Butt]

If you think the likes of Robbie “Blaire” White passes you are male and/or have some form of visual impairment.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

I opened the thread warily as it caught my eye. "Black Man Underwear" his username read- was his name in reference to black colored underwear or underwear for a black man? Questions abounded.

The Kiwi Farms were an interesting place. While it sounds like a place where one would go to learn how to ranch kiwi birds, it was actually a drama and gossip forum frequented by some colorful characters, some of whom the unpleasant type. And we were in one of the most interesting places in that interesting place, the Deep Thoughts board. Anything goes in Deep Thoughts, truly. Not all thoughts contained therein are all that deep, and not all deepness contained therein are thoughts. Truly a walking dichotomy.

Journalists were about as popular on the Kiwi Farms as a hooker at a convent. What was he getting at with his thread title? I feel as though I had a pretty good idea, but it wasn't until scrolling down after taking another swig of my water that I had my lingering doubts erased. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

 

[Crex Crex]

"Jesse Singal is mobilizing kiwi farm assassins to murder us all"

 

[Seafarer]

A thread about a school shooting devolves into an autistic debate over whether a deceased 15 year old murderer is fuckable. Peak A&H.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

"proud Dog mom, body positive but 6'1+ males only, my kids love kfc"

Fucking adult The Loud House fans are almost 100% pedophiles

But then again I am a fucking autist so it's impossible to say if this wrekt me.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I am so glad that the leader of the fourth reich is Jewish!

 

[fitty tucker]

In the words of a "transmasc demiandrogyne enby" redditor who experienced gender euphoria while using the men's room...

Urinal cakes are not used for wiping. How I have not gotten an infection is beyond me.

 

[Drip Torch]

I actually used WordPerfect works 1.0 for dos to hook up the first time. Mindbomb BBS in Janesville running on some dudes Atari.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Masochism is better than sadism. Builds character.

Today, I learned not not look up the word butt on Bluesky. Too much Islamic Content to even post here. It dwarfs the Furry shit.

I expected skateboarding banana peppers or some shit what is this thread even

Wrong. Gays just want emo bussy.

I looked up Captain Underpants and got some weird hits, but nothing about conspiracies -- do you remember anything else?

Canadians, DM me for techniques on how to warm up your cold penises.

What if people landed on outermost major moon of that big gas giant? Outside of the severe radiation area, but temp is -139.2°C / -218.47°F. How would that impact the dong?

A broken clock is right twice a day. It's astonishing how the trans furry meth head is one of the few people to have a reasonable take on this debacle.

I'm watching someone slowly transform into Tommy Tooter

Okay but hear me out though - I've read thousands upon thousands of books, watched hundreds of films, been a patron of live theater and orchestra and opera for nearly thirty years, and one day I sincerely hope that I can stop lying about having watched Babylon 5.

although it's doubtful that Hawaiians that witnessed Pearl Harbor first hand would be still alive today, and also interested in making NTR or pornographic material in general

I remember being in school and some girls would talk about the Schwan's Guy. I kept hearing schwanz guy.

I think the distinction was unimportant because they sounded like they had a crush on him.

I refuse to believe everyone wanting to see Destiny suck dick killed this site faster than sadistic trannies

What does the site crashing have to do with destiny sucking dick?

The site database got corrupted because so many people were downloading a video of Destiny going to town on some dude's benis.

It's entirely possible to bang hookers without any sort of consequence

Bring back the insane lesbian sex cult.

I’ve calmed down now. Antarctica makes me very passionate.

Did you crib that line from your group gooning DMs?

he was NOT ROCKING THE SOLID SNAKE GUN FUCK OFF GO DIE

does it really matter if he was jackin it to furry porn 24/7 with a hitler body pillow at his side?

How’s a nigga going to be Gen Z, buff AF, and not be bisexual.

The one advantage of dying on the toilet is that you won’t shit/piss your pants when you die.

oh boy is everyone schizophrenically hallucinating a tranny again?

Skill issue when i was 15 years old i already had killer ass