random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

It's a Rorschach print of autism and carbs.

 

[PhoBingas]

This makes me thirsty for orange Fanta.

 

[Papa stink]

"The surge of traffic to the Kiwi Farms related to Destiny's blowjob video has caused a fatal database error"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I was a senior in high school when the Virginia Tech shooting happened, and I remember finding out about it and me and my friends seeking out more information because we were actively workshopping jokes in the cafeteria literally instantly.

I know the platitude is "The internet isn't real life" but this phenomenon you describe is real. You can instantly corral a lot of people into a predictable place by simply saying the word nigger, then not apologizing. You can also do that by pulling your pants and shitting on their shoes, but this is easier.

I couldn't have married a man who didn't make sick, dark jokes.

How do you fit 10 babies in a bucket?


With a blender.


How do you get them out again?


With Doritos.


Can't beat a dead baby joke.

That reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, this one used to be a staple in my country
What is it- small, white, *click*, red?

A newborn in a blender

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

You can't fuck a rock.

Do you know what's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown outfit

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

This is why I'm pro choice. Cause dead babies are funny.

You know what’s cooler than the Ferrari in my driveway?

The pile of dead babies in the garage.

What’s funnier than ten dead babies in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.

What does a baby in the microwave look like?
I don't know either, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Certifiably non-autistic and non-male behavior.

Make sure there aren't any samurais hiding inside of it!

 

[⚞⛇⚟]

[I first discovered pornography when I was] 13-14 with the Nintendo 3ds. (With the online search function)

When I see the word nintendosexual, it hits a but too close to home lol.

 

[LurkTrawl]

No, you faggot. If you're a white male, you get called a nigger. If you're black, you get called a nigger. Mexican? Hola, nigger. A woman? First you get told to get back in the kitchen, and then when you open the fridge, you get called a nigger. Everyone is an african american online.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Fuck modern games, fuck remakes, fuck shite retro ports on PC. Emulators are all I’ll ever need.

 

[grenouille crétine]

“I really wish that spectrophilia wasn’t so taboo because I really want to sing the praises of my lovely husband and his massive dick!

But since he’s dead, people will tell me he’s not real, and I’m just delusional. ”

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

I thought it was just about the YMCA. How is the song gay?

 

[Metamorpho]

Have her nudes leaked yet? I tried trading for them years ago but the fag who had them didn't like my offer

 

[indomitable snowman]

On more than one occasion, it’s alleged that Jeffries and Smith directed others to inject, or personally injected, men with a drug for the purpose of causing the men to engage in sex acts, the source said.

i will bully null to make that a random.txt

 

[JustSomeDong]

> Threatening legal action against anyone who calls it a gay anthem

When even the Village People are getting fed up with the gays....

 

[BirdUp]

Here he sits valiantly, on my cuck chair.

the fabric of the fart couch crackles with cosmic electricity as he pokes out his incisive takes: orange man bad. blue man good. fat man powerful

 

[Fiend Cat]

"I have autism. My world shaddered [sic] beneath me."

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

"Bonnie wee Boner is just a stupid narcissist who chases crazy but genuine vagina."

 

[30+GameOvers]

Raping dogs carries more severe punishment than raping actual women which proves CRP wrong. Women aren't dogs they're lower.

 

[Edward "Caesar" Sallow]

You can just give me advice like a normal person instead of telling me you want me to kill myself. You already caused 6 other people to kill themselves.

 

[Edward "Caesar" Sallow]

NOBODY CARES YOU UNTERMENSCH TROGLODYTE. STOP STALKING CHILDREN I HOPE THE FBI GETS INVOLVED AND YOU GET BUTTBUSTED FOR LIFE

 

[Edward "Caesar" Sallow]

bro stop sharing your toilet fetish porn

Vladimir Putin, Sean Astin, Sophia Vergara, and I are assigning our special agent Nikolas to destroy that dastardly Joshua Conor Moon!

Stop focusing on little Japanese infants. You need to focus on your mission. You need to stop Joshua Conor Moon from building his deathray to take over the world.

So you admit you're a pedophile who gets sexually aroused at seeing toddlers go potty?

It's not porn unless there's dicks. This is just gay furry art.

Best of all, he doesn't have to worry about that consent thing. Amanda doesn't believe in it either.