random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I called Mark Hamill a nigger dick sucking faggot

You got a fat balding tranny stutter posting FFFFUKKINNN SPPPICSSSSS. Next to chad nigger posters. It just seems low effort and cringe.

She looks like an Amish girl who just finished a Facial Abuse video during Rumspringa.

I miss the useful Internet

Only on Kiwi Farms will you find discussion of the nickel content contained in the fridge of a man referred to as Fatrick.

The Kiwifarms, where retard niggerfaggots make fun of a fatter autistic retard, and then suddenly someone comes in and says "no, you don't understand, it's even MORE retarded, and here's how, I'm the world expert in this obscure branch of chemistry."

I've learned more genuine shit on Kiwifarms than I ever have on any other forum, or anywhere on the Internet.

 

[Procrastinhater]

the emperor has no clothes and he's shaking his dick at your 8 year old daughter in the women's bathroom.

 

[独人13]

「天皇陛下ナンカ馬鹿デモナンデモナレルンダ　事実馬鹿ナ天皇陛下ダツテ居ル　俺ハ馬鹿ナ天皇陛下ヲ見タ　大正天皇ガサウダ」（群馬県新田郡尾島町公衆浴場入浴中·ブリキ職四二歳·不敬言辞·送致『特高月報』1944）


「宛書：東京市宮城天皇陛下　内容：天皇陛下のばか」（兵庫県明石市国民学校初等科十二歳·不敬投書·取調の上保護者国民学校長及び受持訓導の三者連帯請書を徴し一応宅下げし一件記録のみ送局『特高月報』1944）


「宛書：東京府宮城へ天皇様アホタレヘ　内容：天皇はきらひですからやめて下さい　うちのはりこもんですから天皇になりたいです　そんな天皇はやめてしまつたらよいぞ　あほたれ天皇へ」（京都府十五歳·不敬投書·満十四歳未満の者なるを以て書類のみ送局し訓戒釈放す『特高月報』1944）

 

[invisibult plus+]

I just ate four coffee cakes with a glass of milk. That’s so many calories. What am I gonna do now? My life is over. I can’t burn those off. Life is so hard. And I don’t think a single one of you can even compare to how sad I’m feeling right now

 

[Radiator Grilled Cheese]

Can you go five minutes without lusting after old granny cunt?

 

[Aunt Carol]

the bold button got stuck and wouldn't toggle off like the Italic. rip

 

[Autistic Gunspergings]

View attachment 6623657

"I have a very very high sperm count"

 

[Xarpho's Return]

2. I hate anime.

 

[supremeautismo]

Any woman caught lying about rape shall be banished!

TO FIREBALL ISLAND!

 

[Law]

Nick has obviously practiced the *checks spelling* ahegao face

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

Where Sidson?

 

[DickMain]

Unfortunately, it is not yet a crime to gobble like a turkey while wolfing down raw generic hot dogs.

 

[Hitman One]

It's like I'm playing a video game and Biden's the radio support character.

"Your next mission is to infiltrate the White House and find... you know... the thing."

 

[Tablet County]

For the sake of all mankind, please unfuck yourself.

Last I cared to browse the Metokur thread there was a guy talking about how his dick was broken and kept trying to give medical advice to Metokur assuming his dick was also broken.

If anything Plankton would be the Jewish one because he's always trying to undermine a huwite man's successful business and he got kicked out of the krusty krab 109 times.

Hell apparently reeks of poultry.

 

[Secret Boots]

"Darn those kiwifags for documenting us! We just want to fuck children in peace!" skibidi dibidi doo boop whipadoodle! flosses and dabs My special interests are fucking children, thinking about fucking children, talking about how fucking children is totally awesome and counter culture and I love gobbling down counter culture memes because zippidy doo dee fucking children? That's for me!!! Oh by the way, here's 300 edits of cartoon show intros that go gabbadahgoogily dah but haha it's about fucking children! Yummyrino! Kids!"

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

@GayestFurryTrash

ILook dude I know you're overdosing on cocks right now but you need to calm down and let the semen to blood ratio in your system normalize before the brain damage becomes permanent. I didn't know there was a lethal dose of cum you can take but I think you're close to finding out.

@BargainBinLaden

Echidna’s have four headed penises so I bet you think you hit the jackpot but alas, they can only ejaculate one at a time.

 

[Hillary Clinton's Ass]

If they were to breed, the chromosome count might level out

 

[BirdUp]

Vinny "Hitler" Vinesauce continues to violently assault vulnerable queer youths.

 

[DrNow]

Looking forward to the inevitable disaster known as Frohman Farms.

 

[Tablet County]

You are stuck in the past, just fucking evaporate you ghost.

Fellas, is it gay to be attracted to *checks notes* women?

There are precisely zero women involved in gay buttsex.

Women apparantly have this schizophrenic omegaverse where there would be a class of men called "Omegas" which are typically more feminine than alphas and can become pregnant.

Gee, I wonder what do we call people who can get pregnant in real life. If only we had a term for it.

It takes a lot of flexibility to fuck someone in the camel clutch

“Father figure” perhaps referring to the most dad bods of dad bods to rival Father Christmas.