random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Tablet County]

The last time he took that name was for the gayest nigger Grammy award winning album, Igor, a generation defining and heart breaking rap opera about how Jaden Smith won't fuck him in the ass anymore.

ITT I learned that to assert how heterosexual you are, the best route of action is to anally rape every guy who ever called you a faggot or just looks scared of you.

you can fuss about him being a fucking weirdo, saying cringe shit, eating his fucking toe cheese or whatever, but the fact is that - as Null noted - that cringe weirdo toe cheese eating autist has done more for the usability of the modern communication infrastructure that all of modern society is built on than any of these seething dickheads throwing accusations from the sidelines.

 

[Windy Moors]

The 5k Locals grift was a $1 hit of cocaine for all the members. That is why he had an ounce of coke in his safe, that was for the locals members.

 

[Dr. Butt]

He was a retard, he did retarded things, and eventually his retardation got him killed.

"Kiwi Farms."

 

[Haffhart]

Like the rush of dopamine from seeing cartoon girls kiss is some kind of unexplainable addictive drug and they need more and more and more of it over time.

 

[BirdUp]

I think Dune is a pretty cool guy. Eh rides sandowrms and doesn't afraid of anything.

 

[Hitman One]

"Anita Buttmuch is a key voice in the PissGoreABDL Community".

 

[Kirk Van Houten]

Nigga were you watching pokemon or is this a real person what in the retard

 

[Tablet County]

You're such a martyr. Thank you for your sacrifice. I'll be sure to have less fun and post on /lit/ from now on.

 

[Gentlebastard]

THIS THREAD IS PROPHETIC, A MACHINE THAT WRITES THE FUTURE, BE CAREFUL, THE MERGE IS ON
After reaching page 2024, memes and pics posted will shape the future of those coming years with fucked up meme magic like never seen before, be careful and responsible with the shit you post, just a warning.

With the wave of Amazon scam books, I'm surprised no one published, "Black Fragility." It just says, "Nigger. Lol." on the first and only page.

His ditch has tonsil stones.
Isn’t the human body amazing?!

 

[Croaking Spider]

Very recently, a gas pump spoke to me and told me to buy Halloween-themed Roblox skins. This actually happened; it was not a schizophrenic episode.

 

[Tablet County]

Are you implying anyone on Kiwi Farms is normal? Are you implying we are not all rage fueled tendie cave autists who hold deep grudges?

Why would I tell you to go to reddit when you already have a hugbox here where I can laugh at your autistic screeching?

 

[Aunt Carol]

They try to make nods male or female, while trying to make pregnancy unisex.

Why is the richest nation on earth the only one that can't make normal underpants. Cotton gusset isn't a pay-extra feature in any shithole country including France.

The first machine-made hair barrettes were produced in the late 19th century using the injection molding technique invented by John Wesley Hyatt. Before this, human beings had no idea who could get pregnant or how.

 

[Peenix]

The backseat actors are policing fake femininity! It's a choob nightmare!

 

[BirdUp]

Take a deep breath. Flex the muscles in your neck. Crack all your knuckles. Relax and rotate your wrists. Run your hands through your hair. Feel all the sensations. Scratch your back by rubbing against the back rest of your chair if you adjust yourself in the seat just right. Cross your legs, then do it the other way around, then uncross them again. Swing your jaw around.

 

[Tablet County]

Yugi couldn’t even special summon a girlfriend

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

Our great Discord channel is bringing back the holy war against Korean women that heated up back in June.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

The smart move would be to never acknowledge the existence of your KF thread.

 

[Thé au lait]

Textra comes in like Kramer and talks about the newest cat tranquilizer or something he’s trying
- @Dagoth AMOGUS

 

[Pedophobe]

Its like magic, but more fat and bitchtitty.

Be careful my rotund Kiwi, there are apparently ops afoot. Ops of a homosexuality most foul.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

hes like dio but instead of ingesting the blood of a joestar to increase his power, he does it by gooning in dm's