random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NoReturn]

Accepting an apology and then not stopping the lawsuit and using said apology as an admission of guilt in the lawsuit is the most Hebrew thing I have ever heard

 

[William F. Clinton]

They eat girl dinner and then they take a manly shit and clog the toilet.

 

[Professor Donger]

Yeah I've seen Destiny sucking cock, I say start those fuckers up and put em on high

 

[Chicha Drinker]

The Green brothers are nazguls of modern internet liberalism

 

[RomanianSchizo]

Keroppi's favorite food is rice balls, which are lovingly made by his mother.​

i wish i got send a bloody pig mask and cockroaches so i can have 50 million

When asked for a comment, the child replied,
"Veinticuatro horas por delante
Quiero estar sedado
Nada que hacer
Ningún lugar adonde ir
Quiero estar sedado"

nd FUCK tacos. Tacos suck, and I'm sick of people acting like they're actually amazing. They're dog shit on a corn shell.

 

[JustSomeDong]

The cop expresses surprise over Scarlett chasing Ethan out of the hotel. The desk lady confirms that he did, in fact, run away from her (towards McDonalds).

 

[Aunt Carol]

Due to his overall biomass, killing him is considered a genocide.

"you want to see gourmet? this is gourmet!" as he pours brown dust out of a sachet over his glass of thick brown sludge

Yea sometimes I want some cereal and sometimes I want to fidget and sometimes I want to kill someone.

An order of 16 individual Wendy's Baconator burgers will cost between $137.44 and $156.64 before taxes

I know if I turned into a woman tomorrow, my first question would be "I wonder what my IUD tastes like? "

not awkward
refuse embarrassment
design prevent embarrassment
beat your wife
steal a car
commit tax fraud

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Fascism is when you shit really hard in a toilet and the harder you shit the more fascier you become

I think you might be retarded

I saw this guy make a bomb in his garage by accident, and just respond by saying, "Thats not right"

Nigga, how is it  my fault fat retards couldn't stop publicly gooning

"Hey PPP I have this really dark, terrible and embarrassing secret that you can't tell anyone. Okay you can share it with like two people but that's it and you have to pinky promise."

"Hey Andy, PPP didn't answer my DM so I need to share something with you and you can only share this with the person I'm talking about."

"Mister Metokur the casino guys totally ignored me because I'm obviously attention seeking right now but wouldn't it be super funny if Null tried to fuck me? God, it would just be so embarrassing and life ruining if he made a video blowing out my back end?
Please don't make a video or stream about that because this secret is just between the two of us ok! Btw have you heard of zoosextube?"

Being unsuccessful drawing fetish art is a red flag in of itself.

post addy I will send you 50 million bloody pig masks

How the fuck do these people get so fat?

Because of Tuesday's events I can't do my regular amount of shit jokes.

Dick Penis is ethnically jewish?

>magical STDs

I was slapping my thighs (angrily, not in amusement)

 

[DoubleD]

I humbly submit two of my own:

We are sad to announce that the masturbation-addicted quirk chungus has not healed the racial divide.

God, we trans girls love our jokes about gender, about estrogen, about however many flavors of gay our transition made us. About pre-egg-cracking sillyness.

Both from the same Reddit thread. Link | Archive

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Anyone my age will tell you things haven't been the same since they stopped using analog DNA.

"these individuals don't pass well" says the nigga that has a pfp with a full beard.

He's so fucking lazy, he could have AI generate whole new comics for him and just trace over those to cover his ass

TLDR: Big Nick got paid

It's the natural progression from imprisoning his child stalkers to killing them.

After the tax man ran him and his brother off his home and he moved to Mexico with is 100% weed proof garden he deleted his web site and worked to purge archives.

No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not. No, child. I am not. No, child. He is not. Yes, child. She is. Yes, child. They do. No, child. It is not. No, child. She is not.

And apologise to Dana for my race / gender, child.

Incredible!

Anyone who uses such a font for a text body is insane and should be hospitalized. The chaotic shapes and all-caps make me read this text in my head as if i was talking to a mentally retarded child.

I gotta give credit to the man of elevating the whole cucking thing from a meme to outright horror.

If you're a heretic, you don't have anything worthwhile to say to Christians about their God.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

If Eugenia Cooney had a regular average penis sewn on her it would look massive but in reality it is just normal pecker on a shrunken-head-scale body.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Canadians are natural slaves.

Anyone who uses such a font for a text body is insane and should be hospitalized.

I genuinely cannot hate the guy, and my first instinct is to shoot him as a mercy.

I was seriously concerned that our legally mandated sassy black woman was going to murder him.

This is the worst selfcest hentai I've ever seen.

The women they keep putting out in these latest clownworld patches just don't have the same GUI as the legacy options. I think it's different hardware. Terrible UX.

Guys, I think I've got some kind of mad (lol)cow disease from staring into the abyss too long.

 

[Turkroach Couple]

Pagan sacrifices, whether human or animal were completely made up. They were a myth.

Nigga we had a whole civilization of
human sacrifices in Mexico, you expect me to believe this shit?

I didn't know Mexico belonged in the Roman Empire during its Pagan days.

Then specify “Roman paganism,” shitass.

 

[Local Fed]

Chinthanaichelvan Mrigankasekhar Sharma isn’t a fucking name, it’s something people say if they’re having a stroke.

Fuck you for suggesting therapy. Seriously. Fuck you.

If you want things to change quickly you'll need to kill your grandparents.

BEEFARONI! HE HAS A STORAGE UNIT FOR BEEF-A-FUCKING-RONI!

Say pedophile or paedophile, pussy. Don't bring an innocent file format into this.

If I ever want to see a completely braindead opinion I just look for what The Last Stand has to say about a given subject. Total retardation, every single time, without fail. It's like clockwork.

I took home ec in jr high as I realized being a scifi nerd I probably shouldn't rely on "the girl in my life" to cook

There is a reason why I talk about gas chambers and global warfare in the Sony Hate Thread.

 

[Meat Target]

I like how the financial part of the financial show lasts approximately 3 minutes before the entire thing just completely devolves into two fat neckbeards screaming at each other over cartoon loli horse pussy.

Pretty kino.

Upon checking to see how much they cost and realising how horrifyingly inflated the prices are because of the fucking brony demographic, I felt the immediate need to shriek my rage at the heavens. So I loaded up the farms and saw fresh brony shit had hit the pentagon.

 

[a vending machine]

Negrophilia will kill this country.

Poor cop, he will now morph into a Nigger-man

This being Chinese history, I assume that these furries fought in a rebellion which killed 20 million peasants.

 

[Cnidarian]

Literally gooning to a potty-training toy. Perhaps these women shouldn't ever breed.

 

[Gog & Magog]

I used "nigga hidin in a bowl of rice waitin to pop a cap in yo ass" in a business meeting once, turned out no one else had seen the movie and they all thought I was an unhinged psycho. Oh well, we still closed the deal.

For instance, a woman who is jogging down the street in a workout outfit is going to get a pass for boob sweat every time. A woman sitting in an air-conditioned McDonald's wearing a grimy Hello Kitty tshirt and shoveling fries into her maw will not be forgiven for her boob sweat.

There's your problem, you treat TikTok as relevant.
I went to TikTok for the first time last week and holy fucking shit, I was not ready for how bad it is.
People complain about brain rot on YouTube but TikTok makes YouTube streamers looks like nuclear scientists.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

He has what I like to call the nigger fish physiognomy. Dead eyes too far apart and giant lips.

 

[obsdj]

I know we're supposed to avoid quoting Null but this made chocolate pudding pop come out of my nose:

decided to check in on my boy james and he's now a pngtubing they/them titty crab monster.