random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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I have two funny quotes from articles from The Onion:

"Panel attendees should be forewarned that Emperor Palpatine is hesitant to discuss the Naboo conflict."

"I actually go out and spend money on supplies for Rocky Horror. Supplies. For a movie. How idiotic is that?"

(P.S.: I actually like Rocky Horror, but I found the article where this quote comes from funny.)
 
In this material the Claimant is accused of being a “KNOWN CHILD MOLESTOR”. It is said that “…his salivating lust for young ass is apparent”.
 
And when I see babies in a stroller, especially when they're crying, I just wanna put my foot through the fucking thing, and step on it, until it's nothing but fucking blood and pulp on the fucking pavement!
 
You believe in the Fabian marketing conspiracy that is the hygiene industry. My fucking God, how densely obtuse a purportedly "well-functioning" pillar of the community does one have to be to endorse such a dissonant hypocrisy so unironically without perturbation? Jesus fucking Christ, you are a tool.
 
https://kiwifarms.net/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2F67.media.tumblr.com%2Fae66371b1647e339bcdfcef619e30558%2Ftumblr_oa7ylbMyfZ1va5acho2_1280.png&hash=5c18acbe454856ba0aabc160f0751290
"+Alvin The Chipmunk licks your dick"
 
Mikemikev said:
"I'm planning a showdown in the streets of London. I've been practising with nunchucks. (Yes I know it's nunchaku)"

"I'll find you and the first thing you'll know about it is when a devastating roundhouse kick slams into your face."

"It's going to be amusing when you come face to face with my towering manly form and shit your pants in terror. And I will show no mercy."
 
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