random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[AnOminous]

Thanks to @TopCat to bringing this to our attention.

A site that literally documents people's obituaries discovers us and calls us crazy.

Lol, literal grave-robbing ghouls acting holier-than-thou. Let's dox them all.

 

[Ruin]

Today, an anime twink asian wearing a Trump baseball cap was shot four times during a traffic stop by an officer of the KWPD. Despite having a concealed carry permit and no criminal record to speak of, Ruin was a member of Kiwi Farms, an online hate site devoted to harassment and violence towards women. This awful waste of space clearly deserved to die for his wrongthink. Probably a neo-nazi rapist, who knows how many crimes he had evaded before finally getting his comeuppance, anyone with these sorts of opinions must be guilty of something.

Online Violence in the BLM shooting thread.

 

[AnOminous]

Online Violence in the BLM shooting thread.

Sounds like a reasonable description of the average kiwi tbh.

 

[ColumbiaBinks]

I have many good ones:

"Oh my goodness, my pussy is wet! Don't forget to bring a towel!"

"There will now be a short intermission, during which small ice creams and large boxes will be served in the commissary. Another way to drive people away from the theater is to show a turfs-dispenser."

(You can all possibly guess what Chris-chan video those lines came from!)

This next quote was based on a comment someone made about me when I overreacted to a certain character dying in Inside Out, because I didn't understand that the movie was about growing up. But now I know, and knowing is half the battle:

"Are you trying to troll us? I mean in the other posts on that account you impersonate Jar Jar Binks."

Said posts were Reddit's Darth Jar Jar thread.


Here's one based on a dream from the Closing Logo Wikia's Logos from a Dream page:

Complete Signal Loss! To be doomed by the ViD mask, press 5. To kill turkey, press #. To watch TV, watch ViD mask for 10 hours. But wait! You can't press 3 because it's broken! Call Dish you idiot to fix this problem.

This is based on the opening line of the video "DEVINURDOG'S Pokemon Adventures Deleted Episode 4":

"WARNING: The following message board contains autism. If you don't like those types of people, then go to any other website that is not this one."

This is something from a message board about a "do not play" list for songs at a wedding:

"At my cousin's wedding, the DJ was absolutely horrendous. He played 'We're Having a Gang Bang' when the dance floor was full of children!"

This is one I made up based on something that is said on some TV shows at the beginning:

"These LOLcows were filmed in front of a a live studio audience."

Here's some funny quotes from True Captialist Radio:

"I mean, anyone who's over the age of 18 that's a MALE-that's a male-watching ♫ My Little Pony, My Little Pony...MYYYYY LITTLE PONY!♫ YOU'RE SICK!"

"GO AHEAD AND PUT ON SOME FRUIT BOWL MUSIC THERE, ENGINEER! PUT ON SOME FRUIT BOWL MUSIC SO THESE IDIOTS CAN PRANCE AROUND, ALRIGHT? PUT IT ON! PUT ON SOME GAY CLUB MUSIC FOR THESE IDIOTS, ALRIGHT? BECAUSE THEY LOVE IT!"

♫ I'm a capitalist Brony! My Little Pony!♫

"Money, success, fame, Bronies!"

Here are some phrases based on and from TV Tropes' page on the fictional Disney Movie Anne Frank (One of these was altered, while one is a slogan based on a song title in the fake movie):

"An S.S. officer named Wilhelm falls off a ledge during the final battle. Guess what happens afterwards. (Cue Wilhelm scream)"

"I've read... your diary..."

"Kiwi Farms: Where life is Heil-arious!"

 

[Feline Darkmage]

You're like an FBI agent when it comes to documenting dumb shit retarded people do on the internet.

 

[Hellfire]

"it's basically impossible for me to think of myself as anything other than a fat, weak, useless autistic blob anymore."

 

[CatParty]

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2016-7-8_10-53-53-png.113036/

 

[Rou]

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2016-7-8_10-53-53-png.113036/

I second this

 

[Hellfire]

"did I tell u about fungmook? There was this guy in jail that did surgeries... he inserted glass beads under the foreskin"

 

[ColumbiaBinks]

"If you're fruity and you know it, shove it up your ass!"

 

[Hellfire]

"Call me vicious, but I hope their siblings, parents, children and anyone else they love die like dogs in front of them"

"What's bullshit is a 19 year old friend killed herself & those bastards at Kiwifarm bullied her even after her death"

"I hope you are happy you fuckers at kiwifarm your bullying has lead to a friend killing herself. What has she ever done to you?"

 

[Splendid]

"Some site. Hiter must've made it"
Context

 

[ToroidalBoat]

"They're a cheap propaganda mill run by ivory-tower America-hating sneering elitist self-hating progressives" - Iconoclast

 

[HG 400]

 

[Randall Fragg]

"Very quickly my Pokemon catching dreams were obliterated by the unfortunate reality that exist for a Black Man in America. I realized that if I keep playing this game, it could literally kill me."

 

[Ambivalenz]

The only reason I´m fat and a lesbian is because every time I licked your mum out, she gave me a cookie.

 

[LagoonaBlue]

 

[Hellfire]

"If you haven't noticed, I've been relatively inactive these past few months in comparison to my regular schedule to the point where rumors of my death were spread while I was at a conference."

 

[HG 400]

Huntin' Slash: clown doll is a hard worker

hahaha owned @Clown Doll you take cuckoldry seriously

 

[Ntwadumela]

"I would like to start a wiki on Wheaties cereal."
Kengle