Pokemon Lolcows

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I used to write Pokemon fanfiction back in the day and some of the community was indeed, uh, fucking crazy with their "headcanon" or whatever regarding their favorites.

http://zepher-tensho.deviantart.com/
http://emily-and-grey-tensho.tumblr.com/

Not quite as bad as JustinRPG but this guy has been a source of hilarity to me for some time. He once banned me from his tumblr page and contacted my ISP and told them to shut off cut down my internet because I was harassing him (aka, calling him a sick fuck for his Pokemon incest fantasies). It was amazing.
 
Cosmos said:
Oh, God, what a horrible layout. A lime green background that hurts your eyes, obnoxious auto-play, and an ugly banner. Why are all lolcows so horrible at web design?

As for the content itself, holy shit. Yes, Goodra is a very feminine-looking Pokemon, but when has Pokemon ever been consistent with gender design-wise? For fuck's sake, Machop/Machoke/Machamp, quite possibly the most masculine Pokemon ever, still have a 25% chance of being female. Being so obsessed about such a stupid thing is ridiculous.
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It's rather obnoxious, but if were gonna talk about 100% one gender pokemon, Only ones I know are Sawk/Throh (100% male) and the Chansey line and I think Kangaskan? (100% female).

But slugfucker is rather aware of the farms and thinks everybody calling him out is you, Cosmos.

But all this over someone asking for names for a shiny goomy.
 
Rung said:
It's rather obnoxious, but if were gonna talk about 100% one gender pokemon, Only ones I know are Sawk/Throh (100% male) and the Chansey line and I think Kangaskan? (100% female).

But slugfucker is rather aware of the farms and thinks everybody calling him out is you, Cosmos.

But all this over someone asking for names for a shiny goomy.
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Yeah, I don't really get how he can convince himself a Pokemon is all female what with them, you know, clearly not.

And his reasoning makes things....really awkward, for lack of a better term

EDIT: Oh god, he knows about us, you guys! We've been called out as nothing but a bunch of trolls! Gasp!
 
Rung said:
It's rather obnoxious, but if were gonna talk about 100% one gender pokemon, Only ones I know are Sawk/Throh (100% male) and the Chansey line and I think Kangaskan? (100% female).

But slugfucker is rather aware of the farms and thinks everybody calling him out is you, Cosmos.

But all this over someone asking for names for a shiny goomy.
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There are quite a few gender exclusive Pokemon, actually!

And HOLY HELL, MY SIDES ARE IN ORBIT. Am I famous now? Are we famous? Also, I love how he's calling out me when all I did was comment on @SteelPlatedHeart's post (excellent work, btw, this guy is gold). Maybe "Cosmos" just rolls off the tongue better?

If you're still lurking this thread, slugfucker, no, anyone who criticizes you on Tumblr isn't me. I do have a Tumblr, but I'd never drag my blog into your dramu. Please stop lashing out at people because you think they're me.

EDIT: Guys, I'm famous! And he knows about the Farms! Do you think we should give him his own thread? Also, I'm a girl. You can stop with all the fedora jokes because as we all know, females are incapable of being enlightened by their own intelligence.
 
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Cosmos said:
There are quite a few gender exclusive Pokemon, actually!

And HOLY HELL, MY SIDES ARE IN ORBIT. Am I famous now? Are we famous? Also, I love how he's calling out me when all I did was comment on @SteelPlatedHeart's post (excellent work, btw, this guy is gold). Maybe "Cosmos" just rolls off the tongue better?

If you're still lurking this thread, slugfucker, no, anyone who criticizes you on Tumblr isn't me. I do have a Tumblr, but I'd never drag my blog into your dramu. Please stop lashing out at people because you think they're me.

EDIT: Guys, I'm famous! And he knows about the Farms! Do you think we should give him his own thread? Also, I'm a girl. You can stop with all the fedora jokes because as we all know, females are incapable of being enlightened by their own intelligence.
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Yeah, he's quite a find, isn't he? And all you gotta do to get his attention is say something about there being Male Goodras. He's like an early Chris, back before he git paranoid as hell.
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
Yeah, he's quite a find, isn't he? And all you gotta do to get his attention is say something about there being Male Goodras. He's like an early Chris, back before he git paranoid as hell.
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I'm having a hard time feeling any sympathy for him to, considering that (from the looks of if) he harasses anyone who mentions Goodra being male in any way. I checked out his tag on Tumblr and quite a few people are pissed at him because he won't shut the fuck up and leave them alone. From the sound of it, he's embroiled in some drama right now because someone caught/bred a shiny Goomy which happened to be male. After this person posted about how excited they were to start raising their Goomy, Our Hero came in, arms flailing, demanding to know how they could spread such SLANDEROUS LIES. Now he's accusing people of being me (because obviously I have nothing better to do than badger him on Tumblr).

This is literally just the BLUE ARMS clusterfuck all over again, although hopefully this one doesn't end with this guy macing some poor GameStop employee. God bless the internet.
 
A sent slugfucker a lil' surprise ;)
 
Cosmos said:
*:ween:furiously resisting the urge to ween:ween:*

Nah, but really, I do hope he comes because that would be fucking amazing. He has a lot of potential.
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Indeed. But we can't try to force it. If it happens, it happens.

Check out his reasons as to why he knows about Goodras better than the creators:

"1: Goodra requires a trainer to evolve her. Because of her being the most feminine pokemon, most trainers that use a Goodra have a female one. You can’t find wild Goodra thus technically making the ratio heavily inaccurate. It’s more 95% female 5% GC.

2: All NPC Goodra in ORAS are female. All NPC Goodra in X and Y are female. Shauna’s Goodra does not count as her gender was retconned to female later on in the game. Shauna’s Goodra being “male” on the bridge battle was obviously an error made by one of the developers, and they were too lazy to fix the gender of the Goodra by releasing a patch. More proof of this error is everywhere. Her Goodra is level 49 for example. There is around twenty or so Goodra in both games with ORAS having two in total. The said Goodra are all female.

3: Gender preference is strong within the species possibly the strongest case for a Pokemon. Because of this, Goodra is highly preferred by all as a female. This is often interpreted in art, playthroughs, stories, discussions about her etc. With Pokemon, feminine does equal female unlike with humans.

4: Goodra is biologically female. Her motherly antennae alone are the excuse for this.

5: The developers find Goodra to be female. They interpret this in the anime (Ash’s Goodra is female) and the games (ORAS and XY) They’ve started to realize that the gender ratio is indeed inaccurate and are thus phasing out the GC Goodra’s existence entirely. We may be facing a gender ratio retcon in Generation 7."
 
femalegoodra said:
It so turns out that I’ve been paraded around on this site for ages, and that all these people are trolls that have been “milking” me for “the lulz”. It’s passed around like a virus much like the tumblr raid that happened here a few days ago. This site is literally a hangout for online trolls. This could explain all the “trolly or trollish” asks lately. Take a look for yourself:https://kiwifarms.net/search/205565/?q=goodra&o=relevance
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Apparently Monday was ages ago. My perception of time has been shattered.

I may have to start taking things even more seriously despite it being at max level. Girl, I feel like a gullible idiot now.
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Only just now?
 
I'm sorry, I can't resist any longer. I have to post his response to my original post. It's one of the most autistic things I've ever seen, and I'm including Chris's bitching about Sonic's arms.

My original post said:
As for the content itself, holy shit. Yes, Goodra is a very feminine-looking Pokemon, but when has Pokemon ever been consistent with gender design-wise? For fuck's sake, Machop/Machoke/Machamp, quite possibly the most masculine Pokemon ever, still have a 25% chance of being female. Being so obsessed about such a stupid thing is ridiculous.
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Slugfucker said:
"m-muh sikrit club! better tell the others to troll goodragirl! xDDD so ebin and eric *tips fedora* o and btw goodra is liek super doopah feminine n stuff but shes not female only! i meen i wudnt asoose a mail wan! BOOT IT SUMOW MATTERS TO ME! I MEEN, I REFER TO TEH HOWLE SPECIES AS FEMALE ONLY WITH FEMALE PRONOUNS AND I EVEN USE A FEMALE GOODRA AND ID BE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH USING A MAYLE ONE! XDDDDDD YET IT MATTERS TO ME! XDDDDD *tips fedora at an excessive velocity* XDDDDD GTX 970 MEMEORY BUFFER OVERFLOW FUCK MSI! XDDD AMD HOUSEFIRES KEKE RADEON HD 6770 FERMI ARCHITECTURE SLIGGOO SLIGGOO SLIGGOO!CROSSFIRE OR XFIRE XDD kekekekekekekeke y-yeah! i agree with goodraguy but i DONT agree with im! XDDDDD *malady* SPACEDRIVE TIMEWARP HYPERDRIVE SUPERTOASTER GDDR5 MEMEORY GOODRA IS A GIRL THEN AGAIN SHE ISN’T BUT I HATE MALE ONES BUT SHES STILL NOT FEMALE ONLY EVEN THOUGH SHE IS TO ME SO I HAVE TO DENY IT! AMD HOUSEFIRE MAYMAY XDDDDDDDDD ZAMBEZI RADEON HD 4850 KEK APPLE SHILLS IMAC DEBIAN DEBIANX64 M-MUH GENTOO"

-Cosmos

I like how they refer to me as a “lolcow” instead of a “troll” but refer to me as such despite being neither. There’s a person in the thread “cosmos” who is just absolutely ridiculous because they have no idea what they’re saying.. What are you doing, laddie? Saying Goodra is “very feminine”? That means she is female from your perspective, and that also means you are feeding my ego the same way you feed trolls. You could have just said “Goodra is feminine”, But nooo.. You had to take it a step further and call her “Very Feminine” and deny this in your post. What the fuck is wrong with you? Green is not your enemy by the way. I think this theme is fine by my standards. I do intend on changing it in the future though.


Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Cosmos complains about the theme of this tumblr, and the music? He can’t be serious.. Is he only into that wapanese weeb shit? Seems like massive shit taste to me.


Once again, the irony is that he calls Goodra “extremely feminine” instead of just “feminine”. Who does he think he is?
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Holy fuck, did he just have a stroke? Like, this guy seriously thinks I'm a fedora-wearing neckbeard out to troll him by acknowledging that Goodra does look feminine. I'm just a girl who happens to love Pokemon and laughing and idiots. The fact that such a tiny, minor thing set him off into a frothing rage is priceless.

Yeah, I think this guy deserves his own thread. Plus, that would make him so angry...:ween:
 
Cosmos said:
I'm sorry, I can't resist any longer. I have to post his response to my original post. It's one of the most autistic things I've ever seen, and I'm including Chris's bitching about Sonic's arms.

Holy fuck, did he just have a stroke? Like, this guy seriously thinks I'm a fedora-wearing neckbeard out to troll him by acknowledging that Goodra does look feminine. I'm just a girl who happens to love Pokemon and laughing and idiots. The fact that such a tiny, minor thing set him off into a frothing rage is priceless.

Yeah, I think this guy deserves his own thread. Plus, that would make him so angry...:ween:
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I did warn you that if you said the walking goo dragon looked, feminine, he takes that to mean you agree that all Goodras are female.
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
According to his logic, if you say Goodra looks feminine, you automatically agree with him that they are all female and that no males exist
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SteelPlatedHeart said:
I did warn you that if you said the walking goo dragon looked, feminine, he takes that to mean you agree that all Goodras are female.
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You did warn me :( I can't get over his logic:

Me: Well, I do agree that Goodra is an extremely feminine looking Pokemon-
Slugfucker: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY ARE YOU TROLLING AND TEASING ME LIKE THIS? WHY ARE YOU FEEDING MY EGO? YOU'RE A DANG DIRTY TROLL! IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO JUST SAY FEMININE, YOU HAD TO SAY "EXTREMELY" FEMININE AND THEN DISAGREE WITH ME TO JUST RUB IT IN!! YOU'RE A SOCIOPATH!!!
 
Cosmos said:
You did warn me :( I can't get over his logic:

Me: Well, I do agree that Goodra is an extremely feminine looking Pokemon-
Slugfucker: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY ARE YOU TROLLING AND TEASING ME LIKE THIS? WHY ARE YOU FEEDING MY EGO? YOU'RE A DANG DIRTY TROLL! IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO JUST SAY FEMININE, YOU HAD TO SAY "EXTREMELY" FEMININE AND THEN DISAGREE WITH ME TO JUST RUB IT IN!! YOU'RE A SOCIOPATH!!!
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Sperging out at its finest!
 
At one point in time, I was a moderator for the chat attached to a rather popular Pokemon streaming website. Fucked up times, my friend. The chat is now primarily moderated by bots, and most of my stories are years old, but the shit people did and said in that chatroom before the moderation got upped was crazy.

We had one person who would constantly bounce between being bisexual and a lesbian, and sperg out at the most minor provocation regarding Zelda, Pokemon, or her sexuality. Legitimate autism, and our head mod did her best not to freak out, but even she was frustrated by her a lot. At one point, said person was given modding powers, and she lost them after a week.

Other people would sperg if you insulted their favorite Pokemon, tried to stop them from roleplaying Pokemon battles in the chat, or any other arrange of stupid shit. One person got pissed when we informed him that ADHD and Autism were two entirely different things, and then left the chat, forever. Another person was just too. damn. happy about everything, and was overeager.

I also had a stalker from there. Every time I logged on. Eventually I just ignored him.

I lost my mod powers a long time ago, and have since ceased going to said chat. It was just too much autism in one place. I can't even...
 
So...I found this while Googling "male goodra". Seems to have been from a deleted thread on 4chan or something. And it just screams ol' slugfucker.

1408476850787.png
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
So...I found this while Googling "male goodra". Seems to have been from a deleted thread on 4chan or something. And it just screams ol' slugfucker.

1408476850787.png
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With his logic, all men who look feminine in any way may as well just be women. They look too feminine to be men, of course! Sperglord logic will never cease to amaze and entertain.
 
Oh....oh my god...oh! I've found his origins!

"This is the impact that one person can do to a board when there are no hotpocketeers "Moderators".. One very, very autistic person and his destiny to make other people hate male Goodra.. The Goodrafag."
 
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